tiny shroom

it's no big secret that i love mushrooms.  i love to eat them, i love to grow them, i love to read books about them, i think they are fascinating.  i also realize that wearing a mushroom necklace might make people think i'm all about the drugs, but i don't really care.  last night i was going to just wallow in my irritation with work, but instead i put fresh sheets on my bed, listened to some podcasts, did some light housekeeping and made this little pendant.  it's hard to remain fussy when you are feeling pleased with yourself. 

ohmygod i can hear you over here

everyone who works in a cubicle farm knows this: they are not magical bubbles of sound-proofed quietude.  work in a call center, and not only do you have the constant, never-ending chatter of phone calls, but you also have all the daily, work conversations going on at the same time.  there are a few women who work on the other side of the cubicle divide, basically sharing a cube wall with me, who just will NOT shut up.  i have to hear their daily inane conversations, and one of them doesn't have an inside voice.  (granted, in real life i don't either, but i've been trained well and keep it down in my cube.) it's all back and forth, "i did this this weekend," or "my boyfriend's a retard because of this," or "my favorite serial killer is gary ridgeway that."  it's literally never ending.  i never actually hear them on the phone, which makes me crazy because for some reason i get more calls than anyone else i work with.  where i work has also outfitted with us with fancy IM programs that we all use, so when we can, we can avoid talking out loud and creating noise.  in theory, this works wonderfully.  in reality, today i was the bitch who finally complained to my supervisor.  i just couldn't take it anymore.  lord knows i am not a paragon of goody-goody tattle-tailer, but what sanity i have left, i wanted to keep. i was nice about it, and actually phrased it like this, "maybe they could just be more mindful of their volume?" ugh.  now i'm saying "mindful" out loud.  

they also put our supervisors on the floor with us, with modestly larger cubicles, which i think is to keep morale up (makes them less "management" and more "person who listens to my complaints"), but it has the unintended side effect of making all the conversations they have with everyone audible.  most of the people i work with are super quiet, but one of the ladies that works on the floor under another supervisor comes to talk to my boss all the damn time.  she's the lady without the inside voice, who spends too much time talking about serial killers, and have i mentioned the large, skeleton tattoo that graces her neck? i'm all for self-expression baby, but the moment you tattoo the grim reaper on your neck, you're basically telling the world to "fuck off." am i wrong?  i'm going to get a teardrop tattoo by my eye next, and see if it raises any eyebrows.  (it won't.) 

i love big chunks of my job, and i hate to be a debbie downer, but the past few weeks have been seriously draining.  a lot of people took voluntary leave because call volumes go down this time of year, while our bosses keep telling us how awesome this time of year is because "there are no calls." except that those of us who stick around answer more than ever simply because there isn't anyone else around.  call centers in general tend to be staffed by primarily women as well, and while i love my sisters and give money to all kinds of feminist organizations, i do get tired of hearing about how everyone's boyfriend/husband is so fucking dumb and their kids are so smart and amazing, and did you watch american idol last night? i know, first world problems.  it's cliche, but sadly true. 

book sale!

because we have so many books, i have vowed to never move again. seriously.  this is it.  if we leave this house, it will be due to an act of nature.  so of course, while i was at my mom's this weekend, i hit up the friend's of the library book sale.  here is what i bought,

• a.s. byatt's possession: i've always wanted to read this since i read one of her books of short stories. 
• seizing our bodies, edited by claudia dreifus: this is a book filled with feminist writings from the year i was born, 1977.  i am not ashamed to be called a feminist.  i love reading the writings of early feminists, whether they're championing our rights to vote, or trying to make sure we can have access to health care without being called "sluts." 
• bothers and sisters, by joanna trollope: i don't know, it looked interesting. 
• random family, by adrian leblanc: i heard about this on npr a million years ago.  then look! it arrives.  ha!
• the devil in massachusetts, by marion starkey: like all kids born around halloween, i love all things related to that high holy holiday.  witches, goblins, ghouls, vampires, you name it.  that my mother grew up in rhode island and i had an aunt and uncle in boston piqued my interest in historical witches.  of course, when i found this book, i had to buy it.  also, the one i found had a wicked cover.  

needless to say, i'm planning on hunkering down this fall and reading.  what are you reading?

more things i learned in my garden this year

i probably could have grown twice the amount of food with half the amount of plants.  why? because i crowded those poor little plants.  i also literally and figuratively did not give my tomatoes enough support, and yet they still made me a million tiny treats.  imagine if i had bought enough cages, watered them appropriately, and give them enough room.  i would have had a million freaking tomatoes!

i also learned that if you mess stuff up, the chances are good stuff will still grow.  my garlic isn't great and big or anything, but all the bulbs i planted made new heads, and i learned what they like and don't like. 

the other day i picked up a few brussel sprout starts!  i'm going to have a wee fall garden, with the sprouts and some kale.  i know, i'll get sick of kale, but i plan on freezing some too, and we do like it baked, so i'm willing to err on the side of too much. 

true story

once a year, in the fall, i dye my hair black.  no one ever notices.  it's close to my natural color, i don't get roots, but it calms down the red bits from the summer, and covers my greys up for a little while. 

other things i do in the fall; switch to dark nail polishes (damn i love a purple so dark it looks black at first), have pumpkin lattes, buy more pencils than i will ever use (they go on sale and i love a new pack of perfect pencils), stock up on ridiculous halloween supplies, and spend more time baking and in the kitchen.  the thing about the pacific northwest is that summer comes late, and when it does, making the kitchen hotter with any kind of cooking is the worst.  we are just ill-equipped with being too hot.  i like finally getting back in there after being kicked out by the weather for a while. 

fall will always feel more like the "new year" to me than any other time of the year. 

i'm officially small and petty

the other day the girlchild did a "quiz" on facebook that told her what she would look like in 20 years.  it told her she would be all about doing drugs, and look terrible and wrinkly.  i pointed out that there was no way she was going to be wrinkly, and as far as the drug thing went, NO WAY.  then her mom, who only has contact to her through FACEBOOK, left a comment about how in 20 years the girlchild will be 34 and at 34 she had "8-pack abs" and everyone tells her all the time that she only looks 25.  that's great!  she's fit and looks young, but you know what? i'm raising her kids.  i'm glad she's so hot, but some of us who are actually living with kids, making dinners and working and paying for health insurance, helping out with homework, buying school clothes, don't have time for 8-pack abs.  i'm not just fussy because i'm a chubby stepmom, but because this woman gets to pop in with her two cents anytime she feels like it because she's the "real" mom and OF COURSE her life is more glamorous than mine! she's single and unencumbered.  i'm so glad her job is a natural workout, it would be nice if that job didn't just make her thin, but also paid for some child support.

she's also missing out on awesome times with her own kids.  let's hope those awesome abs give hugs and thank her for being around. 

is hypochondria in the DSM?

because if it isn't, it should be.  i woke up at 1 in the morning, with a deep pain circling my ribs.  i thought maybe i was hungry, or maybe too full for a second; still half asleep and unsure why everything hurt so badly.  i got up and went to the bathroom, thinking that might help.  upon standing i realized how much it hurt to stand upright.  i thought maybe i needed to throw up, but that didn't seem to be it.  i tried everything to get comfortable, i walked all over the house, i sat up, i tried going back to bed, i got out a heating pad and tried applying that to my back.  about five minutes into that, the throwing up started.  whoo!  at this point, it didn't just hurt around my ribs, my back from the base on my neck to my tailbone felt like it was on fire.  so. much. pain.  the throwing up made me feel better for a minute, but then it was worse.  at this point, i woke up my husband with a "i think some thing's wrong."  i threw up a few more times after that, and about two hours into it, i had the realization, "this must be what spinal meningitis feels like."  so, then, of course, i got ready to go to the ER.

however, 20 mins before the last time i threw up, i remembered some pills that i was accidentally prescribed; ketorolac.  when i went to the urgent care clinic a few months with an ear infection, the doctor accidentally put my name on someone elses prescription. i  remember D coming home with it and thinking, "upper left abdominal pain? that's not me."  i thought about bringing them back, then spaced it.  last night i was like, "well, i'm having pain."  so i took one.  i didn't think it did anything, and then i threw up again, and made my move.  somehow, on the drive to the hospital, whatever part of the pill that i had absorbed started to kick in.  i think staying in one position for a while, sitting upright, also helped ease the pain in my back.  i drove through the parking lot of the hospital, then drove back home.  i felt ridiculous, because obviously, no spinal meningitis, but still shitty from the throwing up.  i couldn't sleep after that and so i took the day off.  which was a good idea, because i just tried to eat and that didn't go very well.  i kept that half a bagel down, but it is not having a good time in there.

i wonder what it was that happened.  i'm always amazed at how my imagination goes the worst place possible.  i was also happy that my husband didn't think i was too crazy, although he did giggle a bit when i told him my meningitis theory (after the fact, of course).  he's at work, but he's going to bring me home some ginger ale.  hooray! 

*edited to add: well shit! it is in the DSM, according to wikipedia.  i'm clinical! ha!

county fair time

 last week i had a random wednesday off, because i used my floating holiday.  i thought it would be fun to work for two days, have a day off, work for two more, then enjoy labor day weekend.  i was right, that was fun.  on my day off, D got the brilliant idea to hit up the evergreen state fair in monroe.  i hadn't been to a county fair in forever, and both kids were into it, so off we went.

 D likes to start with the animals.  we hit the horse stalls first, where i was promtly freaked the fuck out.  i won't lie, horses make me nervous. i don't ride them, i don't get too close to them, and i don't trust them.  for one thing, a horse can do whatever it wants. it's way bigger than you, and a single kick of a bored leg to your chest is all it takes for them to show you who's boss. even small horses are formidable! to me, anyway.  of course, the first stable we go into is full of draft horses.  DRAFT HORSES.  i kind of knew in the back of my head that they are the biggest of horses, but seeing one up close was remarkable.  they were like 8 feet tall and all muscled up like the entire WWE were hiding in their haunches.  people were getting them ready for show, and braiding their hair and wiping them down, outfitting them with elaborate bridles, and making small talk with the animals.  it was amazing.  seriously.  i wish i had taken some photos, but i was too busy keeping a death grip on my camera and nervously giggling.  when we got outside of the stable, the kids told me i looked terrified the whole time, and they had more fun watching my face than seeing the animals.  i know that's i have a strange reaction to horses, but seriously, even for all the anxiety i feel when i'm around them, i do appreciate how beautiful they are. like a tiger, though, i don't need to be friends with them.

pygmy goats, in contrast, are more my speed.  funny little fat guys, jumping around and being cute, with the magically ability to provide milk that you can make into delicious cheese.  there's an animal i can be friends with. 

 the food at the fair was mediocre at best.  limpid curly fries, under-salted and rapidly congealing.  bratwurst with boring grilled onions. margarine laced elephant ears.  the only amazing i had was this red velvet funnel cake, which blew my mind.  it was topped with cream cheese frosting ribbons and chocolate sauce.  it was amazing.  we didn't even get any cheese curds because they only had tiny trays of the previously frozen, pellet sized ones, nothing made with a real fresh curd.  if there's one thing i'm snobby about, it's cheese curds.

the cats were hiding far away from everything else. i should have taken some photos of all the little signs you had to follow to find them!  it didn't matter once we got there, though.  i met my first scottish fold, this sweet little guy.  he was a tired kitten, but his owner woke him up so we could play and pet him for a bit.  i also met a smooshed-face cat, and saw a lovely hairless who refused to wake up.  the cages the cats were in were all decorated in sports themes, in honor of the olympics.  the care the kids took in setting them up was obvious.  all the cats were sleepy and worn out by the time we got there, but in good moods. no catfights were observed. 

then of course, we rode some rides, walked around some more, and finally went home where we all promptly passed out.  it was an awesome day, and now we all want to go back next year.  hitting it in the middle of the week was also an inspired move on D's part; the crowds were amiable and there wasn't a line for much, you could stop and talk to the farmers and animal owners, nothing felt rushed or forced.  we talked to a lot of kids in various forms of 4H, which is always fun.  they get so excited about their animals!  it felt nice and relaxed there.  i don't think we'll ever go on a weekend again.

new specs

i found out just recently that my health insurance plan offers $250 a year for vision hardware (glasses or contacts!) and thought, "damn, i should use that."  i had a very nice eye exam with a nice old man, and picked out some new glasses that are dark blue with a row of rhinestones on the top of the frames.  it's such a funny little decoration; kind of random and sneaky and cute, they were was really sealed the deal for me.  plus, they are a beautiful dark blue, like old cobalt glass.  in size and shape they resemble pretty much ever other pair of glasses i've ever bought, because if anything, i am a creature of habit.  i know, HUGE surprise.  of course, as with any new pair of glasses with a brand new prescription in them, i'm also amazed at how shiny and clear everything looks.  i can't believe some of you just wake up with the ability to see, every single day.  i can't imagine! it's been so long since i didn't have to wear something on my face to be able to see.  (over twenty years, and i don't think of myself as being that old. )

i took today off because i had a floating holiday that was just hanging out.  no good reason, nothing particular to do, no big plans.  everyone is still fast asleep, i'm reading blogs and drinking coffee, waiting to see if we'll do anything today.  if we don't, i won't be too sad.  it's just nice to have a random day off! especially since the first two days of this week i spent in some pretty heavy duty training.  my brain needs a chance to digest all the new information!

xstitch

i've been on a bit of cross stitch bender lately.  when it's hot, i like to hang out on my bed, under my ceiling fan, listening to the radio and working on tiny projects.  this one is about 3 x 2.5 inches, it needs a frame then i'm going to put it on my desk at work.  i joke about working in a cubicle farm, but i do like my little space there.  i've also been making small colorwork pieces; just repetitive patterns in a variety of colors.  shades that don't quite match other has been my favorite thing to play with.  lots of lime-y greens and weird purples being friends with orange, that sort of thing.  a bit of color dissonance, if you'll let me get pretentious for a second.  this little sampler uses an ombre style coloring in the frame, which was a lot of fun as well.  the more i do it, the more i like it.  i used to think of cross stitch as being very formal and fussy, and not necessarily "useful," the way knitting a pair of socks to wear is.  making my home and work more beautiful may not be useful but it does make me happy.  i think smaller pieces like this might make their way into our decor, probably sooner rather than later. 

big red

our truck died a couple of weeks ago.  it had been acting up, and D had told me he thought it needed some work, then one night on his way home, he stopped to buy some beer and the truck wouldn't start.  we called a tow truck, and now big red is sitting in our driveway, looking forlorn.  we think it might be the starter, it also might have something to do with the electrical system (there was talk at one time of some sort of chip or another being hinky).  in any case, we're down to one car. 

which in and of itself hasn't been a bad thing.  the weather has been lovely, D doesn't mind the two mile walk to work, and we do live quite close to a bus stop so he uses that sometimes too.  a few afternoons we get off at the same time, and so he walks to work, and then i pick him up.  saturdays i don't work, so he uses the car that day.  we've got a little system worked out, and so far there haven't been any major complaints.  we'd like to get the truck fixed (it's really nice to have a huge truck for some things), but i have a feeling we won't look into seriously until the fall.  right now we're busy trying to pay off a ridiculous medical bill that took us by surprise and save up enough for the property taxes due in october.  there isn't a whole lot left over right now for fixing the truck, which is unfortunate, but true.  this is one of those times when having an emergency credit card might come in handy, but if there is one thing i do not want right now, it's any kind of credit card. 

being down to one car also means we're spending less.  while one of us is out using the car, working, the other one can't be out shopping.  ha! 

for every shitty spin recommendation

there are sometimes ridiculous little gems, like this from the wavves. yes, it's stoner pop rock, but so fun! cute! teenage! i'm surprised at how much i like it, since the interview with the lead singer and his girlfriend was so terrible. what can i say? they came across as young and smug and annoying.

then, of course, i looked up her band, and they were also awesome. i also saw an interview with her where she was honestly sweet and funny and smart, and now i feel like a jerk for thinking they were asshole hipsters. i mean, they still might be hipsters, but they are not assholes. check out this adorable video!

you know what sucks?

getting this song stuck in your head. because it's catchy, but not necessarily good. yet once you hear it, you will tap it out while waiting on hold, you'll hum it in the shower, you'll find yourself thinking about it at the weirdest times. i'm sorry if you watched it and are stuck with it in your head, but at least you know what i'm going through.

i make fun of my college degree a lot

i mean, seriously: who do you know that majors in anthropology that is actually a paid, titled, for-real, anthropologist? how many newspaper ads have you seen begging for someone, anyone! with the knowledge to compile an ethnography or family tree to apply for a starting salary of 50k?  it's true, i majored in something that can be loosely applied to many fields, but not applied to many more. 

however, my love of sex and gender studies comes in handy all the time.  i got a call today from someone asking about labiaplasty benefits and guess what? not only did i not blanch at the very idea, i knew what it was and didn't need to be told.  then when i was asked how it was different from clinics offering "vaginal rejuvenation" i could explain the difference between a simple trimming of some excess labial tissue vs. full on, surgical alteration of the vaginal canal.  yeah, i'm a rock star. 

if there is anything you can take from this post, it is this: i'm so glad i studied what i studied.  i'm so glad i took the time to learn about things that interest me, even if my interests are either perverted or morbid.  that even though i will literally spend forever paying off my studen loans, those hours i spent teaching sex ed, organizing transgender speakers for classes, and reading about alternative sexualities was well worth my time.  also, if you have a question about your delicate parts, feel free to ask me.  i don't blush easily, and my company is so lucky to have me. 

srsly guys

i declare that there is very little on the earth as awesome as getting a letter in the mail.  a real letter,  that someone wrote out by hand.  if it's at all possible, a letter is even better if it comes from your nephew, he draws you a photo, and actually uses the "tm" signifier correctly.  considered me SLAYED by cuteness and awesome.  if this letter was rated on a scale from 1 to 10, with ten being the best, he would get a solid 100.  hyperbolic? what, me?!  (when i think about it, i'm amazed his parents don't just sit around drinking cocktails and patting themselves on the back because that kid is amazing. as his aunt, i'm full of pride at his smartness and funniness and handsomeness, but they made him! good job, dudes.  thanks.)

i suggest

the fastest and easiest way to piss off a teenager is to disparage the chore they just did.  yes, they readily admit they did a terrible job, but they did it, didn't they?  doesn't doing it badly, and half-assed count for anything?! sheesh.

things i am trying to do lately

• eat more veggies.  i don't know why this is hard for me; i love veggies.  it's just a cheese sandwich is the easiest thing on earth to make.  
• take less ibuprofen.  i think i take way too much, thanks to my motto, "better living through chemistry."  if something hurts, i take two.  i realized the other day that even though you can buy it over the counter, it still has some long-term side effects.  maybe i'm rushing into using it all the time, so i'm trying to be aware of when i use it and why.  
• taking tips from unfuck your habitat.  so far i've been unfucking my mornings, and while i am not making my bed yet (because when i get up, the husband is still in it!), i'm taking the 20/10's to heart and doing small things more often, instead of being bothered by cleaning everything all at once. 
• going to bed early.  this is part of my "unfuck your morning" routine.  honestly, it is amazing how much more pleasant i am with a good night's sleep to back me up.
• keeping track of my spending.  i'm using the toshl program because, and this is so shallow and lame, it's cute and has great graphs and is crazy easy to use.  keeping track of my spending the last few weeks has been illuminating, to say the least.  
• more doing things in real life, less internet-ing.  for all the time i spend online, you'd think i'd blog more! 
• water my houseplants.  it's been hot, and i've been paying attention to them, and guess what? they all look amazing.  whoooo!

• the other big thing i have been trying to do lately is not stress out.  i have lots of good reasons to drink a lot of beer and/or pull my hair out, like our truck dying, a giant doctor's bill that showed up that we don't have the money to pay for, and looming property taxes, so instead of freaking out, i'm just trying to take everything one step at a time.  oh, and i'm making lists.  and giggling at LOLGOTHS. 

CAT-astrophe

when i come home from work, one of two things normally happen; lulu comes running out from under the bed/chair/couch she's been hiding under and says hello, or i go outside and call her and she comes running from the car/bush/camp chair she's been hiding under to say hello.  either way, i can count on kitten headbutts and chit chat* when i get home.  last night, she was not home.  no big deal, i thought she'd come home around dinner time for a check in.  i mean, she always checks in, even if she stays out all night.  she likes when we're all home and hanging out, and revels in the attention we all lavish on her.  i went to bed at 11, and she still wasn't home. i started to get worried because i guess at heart i really am a crazy cat lady, and then sometime around midnight D and the girlchild woke me up to tell me she was home and bring her to bed so i could see her.  i was soooo relieved.  i mean, i know she's a grown-ass cat and can handle herself (the notch in her ear proves it), and that there was a good chance she was just out having kitten adventures, but still.  all i could think of was my poor kitten, smooshed by a car.  today my stepdaughter and i had this conversation via text;

me: i would have cried so much!

girlchild: we all would have.

me: i guess then we could have shaved our eyebrows** all together, though.

girlchild: haha, ya.

me: we would have been a weird looking family for a while.

girlchild: ya, but it would be fun to see who grew their eyebrows back first.

so i guess i was the only seriously worried one, but we were all happy to see her little kitten face at the door last night.

*i like to have one-way conversations with the cat where i ask her about her day and she says nothing.

**when the boychik was 9, his cat died, and he read that the egyptians shaved their eyebrows as a sign of mourning, so D let him shave his off.  it's one of the sweetest stories i have ever heard.

guilty pleasures

• ancient aliens.  i know, i know, it's ridiculous, but i love how earnest everyone on the show is, i love how they interpret history, i love that they're willing to be out and proud about their fringe beliefs!  
• legos all over the living room.  sure, we pulled them out for my nephews, but did we put them back? no. are we still playing with them? yes.
• blueberries.  they have been on sale lately, and we are eating them by the gallon.  i guess i don't have to feel guilty about that one, but we are enjoying them immensely.
• gardner dozois's sci-fi anthologies.  some of the stories are hit and miss, like all anthologies, but the ones that are good tend to be really good. also, ellen datlow doesn't come out with enough collections, while this guy reads a crazy amount of stuff and edits a book every year. (he's a hard working dude.)  while i always feel kind of guilty not reading a "real" book when i have the time, i should probably cut myself some slack.  i am, after all, reading, and that's never a bad thing. 

whirlwind weekend

 my very favorite people in the world (besides the three i live with) came to visit this weekend!  both of my nephews, and their awesome parents.  we only got to spend two days with them, but we packed a lot into those days.

i know it's a cliche to say of children, "they grow so fast," but sometimes it's so true.  both H and T are taller, funnier and smarter than i remember.  that they get along so well with the boychik and girlchild is icing on that delicious cake.  the first day anne and the boys were here, we went out to storvik park in anacortes.   if you live within 25 miles of that park, it is TOTALLY worth taking your kids out there.  seriously. it's huge, there are a ton of swings, play equipment, picnic benches, and lots and lots of room for running around.  we brought snacks from the breadfarm and slough food, had nibbles and let the boys run around for a while.  after that, we brought the boys home and let my kids babysit while anne and i picked up aaron for a rock concert! i was not familiar with the neon trees before the show, but they were awesome.  i haven't been to a show in so long; i was kind of out of shape for it.  i brought a purse (rookie mistake!), wore the wrong shoes, and was hot and sweaty for most of the show.  we had a great time, though, and it really made me wonder why i haven't been to any shows in so long.  it's exhilarating.

the next day we all went to the pacific science center for their king tut exhibit.  to say that that we were excited to see it is an understatement. 

just seeing the arches make me all giddy inside.  i have such fond memories of this place as a kid. 

my love of ancient egypt knows no bounds.  as a kid i read a lot of books about mummies and the pyramids, and wanted to be an egyptologist sooo badly.  of course, that's not what happened, but i still love it.  it's amazing to see the kids so into it as well.  walking through the exhibit and realizing that everything you're looking at is thousands of years old is humbling.  it gave me all kinds of ideas for new projects, and in a lot of ways felt like visiting and old friends.  things i had read about and seen in documentaries, right there in front of me.  if you get a chance to check it out, i highly recommend it.  bonus tip: get the audio tour.  harrison ford does some of the narration!