i made it through the whole day

i wasn't sure if i would. it wasn't so much that i had too much to drink last night (although i did and also didn't have enough water), but i also only got three and a half hours of sleep last night.

when i don't sleep, which is more often than i care to, i get a little over-emotional, and it makes my whole body feel sick. my stomach hurts, my head often hurts, i feel sort of spastic and jittery, even though if i have less than four hours of sleep i do not indulge in any caffeine. so this morning i was exhausted, pissed off at myself for being a dope, and feeling seriously under the weather. it took quite a few hours for me to start feeling human (five, to be exact). what helped: gatorade, water, ginger, salty parmesan goldfish crackers, and walking around quietly. what didn't: the smell of the qdoba next door and the stupid questions some customers ask. but i did it, and i have to say i always feel like giving myself a little pat on the back when i muddle through a day as hungover as this one. i honestly did not have all that much to drink, especially considering it was spaced out over a five hour period, but i'm beginning to wonder if the altitude isn't still have a slight affect on me. it's been four and half months, but in those months i've also had to cut back on all my vices so it could be a mix of altitude and just plain "out of practice"-ness.

tonight i'm going to bed early, and taking a sleeping pill. i can't wait to have health insurance again and get prescription ones. the over-the-counter ones are okay, but i feel like they take forever to kick in. sometimes i feel like i have to take them before i even know if i'm going to have a difficult night sleeping because if i wait to find out then it will take too long to work and i'll lose more time than i'd like. this makes me feel more neurotic than i think is actually neccessary, and i'd like to have a pill i can actually take when i know for sure that i'm having a hard time sleeping. tonight i just know if i don't get a good night's sleep tomorrow will find me more jittery, more weepy (albeit on the inside!), and more of a mess in general. good stuff.

i feel like the oldest woman on earth right now. no more complaining about the hangover. i'm going to go now and put on my pj's, get into bed, and watch a movie.