fishwife

let's see if this will post! i have a very tenuous internet connection right now; this might go through, it might not.

things are going along as usual on the boat. we have a new crew member, the captain's son. he's five, surly, and loves to call me either "fat head" or "fat girl." good times. i'm his erstwhile nanny, which isn't exactly a picnic. do i go to hell for disliking a kid that age? his pop keeps telling me he's a good boy, and that once he get settled he'll give me less attitude, but i don't know. doesn't everyone think they have good kids? i do think the adjustment for him has been hard, and i'm doing my very best to be patient and kind, but when i can't be i just ignore him. i do multiplication tables in my head or knit things or busy myself with cooking or cleaning. there's only so much i can do and once we start working again i won't have to spend so much time with him. i'm kind of holding my breath for that one. until then i'm trying to avoid any major confrontation with the kid and hoping he listened to his dad when he told him he had to do what i said. i think the kid is also convinced i want to be his dad's wife, which is so not the case. he just had a stepmom he didn't care for (who are we kidding? he hated her.), and i think he's taking some of that out on me.

my life has taken a decidedly domestic turn. on one hand, it's nice because i get to do stuff i'm good at like cook and do laundry, but the feminist in me hates being the fishwife. the other night i actually had to stay on the boat while the boys went out, which would have made me want to burn shit down but i was tired and didn't have any money anyhow. i did tell the boss that while i was amenable to it that night, that the next time he wanted a babysitter it was one of the boy's turns. i don't mind pitching in when needed, and if i can make a lunch that makes their life easier or occupy a kid so he doesn't run overboard, then okay. HOWEVER i don't think that just because i'm a woman i should have to do those things all the time. last night one of the boys was stuck on the boat with me and the kid, and i made him watch him for a while. it's hard to assert myself since i'm the least experienced on the boat and here kind of at the amusement of the boss-man and my fisherman, but i don't want them thinking that my goal in life it to mother them and scold them for trashing the bathroom.

got a package from my mom yesterday which was so nice. more underpants, a few shirts i haven't seen in over a month and aren't the same thing i've been wearing forever, and a whole lot of yarn were delightful to get. she also included some anthony bourdain books, which means i forgive her for forgetting my arrested development dvds. she also sent some good soap and another bra, so i guess i'm good to be out here a bit longer. two more months at least, then who knows. you can't predict anything past an hour out here, so i never think too far ahead. once i'm on land i'll do that.

p.s. i do know for a fact that i never want to hear metallica's "and justice for all" ever again. it may be a great album, but we listen to it every day a few times a day. enough already!