the 12 year old i live with has a problem with taking my stuff. first it started that she ate my food, so i started writing my name on everything so she couldn't do the whole, "oh, i thought it was my mom's." then the other day i found one of my bangle bracelets in her bedroom. i found it by walking by; it was right there in the middle of her floor, door wide open. i noticed all my make-up brushes gummy with her make-up, i confronted her and told her under no uncertain terms was she to use my make-up brushes; it's not a very hygienic habit, and i wouldn't stand for it. then this morning i was in the shower, finished washing my hair and went to wash my face. guess who's face wash was missing? and hidden under her mom's bathroom sink?
part of me wants to pen a very angry letter, especially since i specifically told her yesterday that she is not to use my bathroom at any time because she takes my stuff. i made a point of being firm but not jackass-y, just laid down the law and said, "if you do X, Y will be the resulting action." take my stuff, get banned from my bathroom. at the same time, she's only 12 and i don't want to sink to her level. she isn't a real "roommate" since this situation isn't of her own choosing. i understand that she's going through some shit right now with her dad's family (her fifteen year old step-sister is five months pregnant! no one knows who the baby daddy is!), and can sympathize with her need for attention. it's just very, very hard for me to figure out what to do without feeling angry and upset that she constantly goes through my shit.
i've tried confronting her directly, i've tried involving her mom, i've taken things away from her (like my bathroom privileges), i've even given her stuff of her own so that she won't have an excuse to take what's mine. none of it is working and i tell you, it makes living here very difficult.
does anyone have any suggestions? aside from moving? which to be frank, sounds good to me. i think what i'm going to do today is just leave a small note letting her know that i found what she took, and am going to talk about it with her mom at work this afternoon. let her stew a bit after she gets home from school, maybe worry her a little. although i'm sure it won't work, she doesn't seem to care when she gets caught, or else she turns on the crocodile tears for her mom's benefit. grrr!
2 comments:
Fuck, that is tough. Ugh. Do you have a (keyed) lock on your door? If not, you should definitely invest.
If you've already talked to her mom, and if she's not letting up in spite of you confronting her AND involving her mom, and you don't want to keep every got-damned thing under lock and key, I guess moving is the best option. Or at least telling her mom that you're going to have to look for a new place to live if it happens again. Which may be what the 12yo is hoping for...?
She totally wants the attention she's getting because of this and she probably does like you and that's part of why she's targeting you. However, if her mom isn't going to do anything you are going to have to invest in a lock for the short term and moving expenses in the long term. I don't think she's going to stop. I'd offer you my extra room, but you've got this nice guy hooked, so I don't think you're up for a different city right now. Good luck!
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