i am very full of rage these days. like super angry, wanting to slam doors and not being able to stop rolling my eyes at the stupid jerkiness of people kind of angry. my head is also very hurty, so when someone asked what i was having for lunch today i said, "you know, aspirin." which is funny because i do not take aspirin as a general rule; mom forbade it for fear of rye's syndrome when we were kids so i was well into my twenties before i ever took one. i still joke around with her when i take one, promising not to die of crib death and she shoots me some stink eye and says, "make fun, you never died as a kid and you were clumsy."
i am hating work because they refuse to give any of us over 37 hours a week, and yet even though we're supposedly suffering an hours shortage, two new employees have been hired. both of them lovely people, but lovely people stealing my fucking hours. i am tired of being jerked around, and yet i have this new group of loyal customers who actually come to see me at my little cheese island and chit chat on a weekly basis. i LOVE these people; they are funny and silly and slightly embarrassed that they love cheese so much, and we swap recipes and ideas and they come back and try the most outrageous cheeses i have. the fact is, i will never have another chance to actually have a job where the title is "cheese specialist" and while i love that more than i realized i would, DUDE. bills are not getting paid. leaning on the fisherman as my financial support crutch sucks. there aren't enough cocktails in the world to cover that up, and as a result i am angrier than usual.
so selling cheese is good, getting paid to do it isn't and i'm forced to think about whether or not this job is worth it, and having to do some creative book-keeping. i'm hoping part of my angry streak is hormonally based, and not just that i'm becoming bitter because that is no fun at all (not for anyone involved). i spent a little time tonight at daiso with a co-worker and that helped some, and it is my friday night so the fisherman and i are playing video games, watching youtube* and having drinks like most happy couples, so i'd day 75% of my life is awesome, with that other 25% spent worrying myself over bills and shit. the math on this is promising though, so i promise not to complain any more this week!
*i have been obsessed with watching all things marilyn manson on the youtube. have you seen his interview with bill o'reilly? it made me love him even more.
2 comments:
you should open your own awesome specialty cheese shop and steal all of your old customers. you'd be so awesome that peeps from all over the island would come there. some people might even arrive by boat (ferry). sure you probably wouldn't make any more money than you do now but you wouldn't ever have to beg for more than 37hrs ever again.
and you should sell your ironic needlepoint and knitting there too!! call it "cheese and irony".
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