now i bitch about temp agencies

it seems like in order to get a job in this town, one must go through a temp agency. in the months i've been here, i have not been on one interview that wasn't set up by some third party grifters. in a way, using a temp agency is sort of cool; you sign up and they look for jobs for you, hopefully matching you with places you'll fit in at. it doesn't always work that way though, just look at my current job. the recruiter for it talked it up in a way that made it seem reasonable to me, and oh holy fuck it's really not that great a pairing.* we are an odd couple on a good day.

i was supposed to get a check the friday before last for my last week at the office job i had at the beginning of the year. i had to work that day, so i didn't go in to pick it up. i figured they would just mail it to me, since it came in an envelope with my address on it every other time i'd gotten one. a week went past with no check. today i sent over a little email along the lines of "when do you send out paychecks?" the response was an "oh? you want us to mail it?" well, duh, jackass.

i also got another call from the temp agency that annoys me, and i'm not sure what to do. i might just tell them i have a job right now and if i need them in the future i'll let them know. this agency gets better jobs coming through, but they are really hard to get a hold of, and don't make much of an effort to get back to you if you call them. i know i'm just supposed to be so grateful that they're representing me, but i can't just sit by the phone all day waiting for them to call either. i'm doing my part, keeping in touch, trying to set things up, and i hate that they are so wishy-washy.

i'm not sure if i could find a job right now that i liked, to be perfectly frank. it could be that my job issues are just other issues in new clothes. money is freaking me out, but i'm not that broke (yet). i'm still going through the whole "do i want a career or just a job?" conundrum, trying to figure out what it is exactly that i'm looking for. i know what i don't like, that part is easy, but figuring out what i do like, what i want, and what i'm willing to settle for is another story. i'm glad to be working at all, and maybe i should stop freaking out it and just do it. the job i have right now isn't the greatest, and it does make me feel weird that i'm 28 years old with a college degree making lists at a cell phone store and telling people when their cell phone rep is ready, but fuck it. it's paying the bills and giving me a moment to breathe and it never asks more than two days in a row from me.

i think i've been hard on myself lately. i just moved and am getting settled and it's perfectly normal for me to be homesick and lonely and a little stressed out. it would be weird if i wasn't. jesus! i need to calm down and just let myself muddle through for a while. this might make for boring, neurotic posts, but if that's the case and you get annoyed, then go read something else.

*i will admit, though, that i'm getting to like my co-workers. they're funny. they remind me what it is i like about retail work, mainly the camaraderie. i also got my official uniform shirts today, and that softened me up a bit for some strange reason. with my insomnia acting up the way it has been lately as well, i'm sort of glad for the later start time at the place. i don't know. maybe this is what happens in an arranged marriage when you get over being freaked out and start to resign yourself. maybe we will fall in love.