away with the subtlety!

colorado isn't playing nice anymore. last night after i stopped at target to buy a new bed (mine has a leak and i am too lazy to find out where it is!) and a hairbrush, the rocket stalled at a light and then wouldn't start again.

in the middle of traffic.

luckily i was about two car lengths away from the light, my hazards all work, and there was plenty of time for me to be seen by anyone wanting to get past me. unluckily, there wasn't anything resembling a shoulder nearby, and even though i was right dead center in traffic, i knew i was safer there were at least everyone on earth could see me. even if i could get out and push the car to the side of the road, there was way too much traffic and with my luck i'd get hit by a car. after all, i wear a black uniform! i stayed where i was, called my pop to make sure i hadn't done something stupid, called roadside rescue where i was told i'd have to wait 90 minutes, then just called the cops. if i never, ever see another cop again i will be happy. however, this cop was super nice, gave me a jump, and the rocket and i were on our way home

while sitting in traffic, thinking about how the rocket might be dead, eating red vines, making calls, i was honked at by no fewer than three cars. flipped off a few times too. i thought, "oh, how nice. yes, the honking is really helping me move my fucking car." yes, i KNOW i'm stopped in the middle of traffic, and yes, i KNOW that this inconveniences you, that's why i did it! ha ha ha! thanks to everyone who scowled at me and revved their engines as they passed, thanks to all the jerks who honked to let me know i was in their way, thanks to all the lovely people who didn't bother to stop to see if i needed any help or was okay.

colorado, you can go fuck yourself. in thirty days i'll be gone, i promise. if you could please stop trying to kill me or give me a heart attack i would greatly appreciate it. your hints that i do not belong here have gone from being subtle to over-the-top, and really, i get it. i'm going! i just need to pack again and then i am out of here. please leave me alone, okay?

p.s. after i wrote this i went to take a shower. for some reason, we have no hot water. yay!