on porn and roommies

the other day at work i was having a typically strange conversation with my friend josh, when the topic of porn stars came up. josh is in most ways a pretty ordinary 21 year old male, so i asked him who his favorite porn star was. he told me he didn't have one, and i almost had a conniption. honestly, porn stars are everywhere. they write books, they appear on regular tv shows, and while most don't exactly cross over into "mainstream" media, i think it's safe to say that the average american can name a few porn stars off the top of their head. he asked me if i had a favorite, and i said sure. in fact, i have a few. don't you wish you knew who they were? ha! in any case, i told him that maybe he should go home and do some porny homework. i can't have this conversation with him again. i gave him a short list of girls to google when he got home, and sent him on his way. imagine, a 21 year old boy knowing nothing of the porn arts. jeez.

also, i'm pretty sure my roommate slept with her best friend's boyfriend the other night. at the very least i caught them sucking face in the living room like they were hungry zombies. it's hard to look at her now, much less carry on anything even like a normal conversation. if i thought moving sounded good before, now it sound epically amazing. after the new year i'm going to look into it seriously. i just can't wrap my brain around what she might have been thinking. i can't even make out with anyone who's shown an interest in any of my friends, much less sleep with a guy who's dated one. or is dating one. not even casual acquaintances! ugh. i'm torn between wanting to tell her how i really feel, and keeping my mouth shut because i have to live here a bit longer. i suppose if she actually confronts me i'll give her the nutshell version and not hysterically try to pin a scarlet A to her chest, but i just can't take her seriously anymore. if she'll do that to the person she claims to love the best, then she's more than willing to throw the rest of us under any oncoming traffic. i know rightous indignation is unbecoming on me, but i take my friends seriously. i'm ashamed of myself for not saying anything when i caught them, i should have done something right then. at least brought to their attention that one of them, you know, has a girlfriend. and one of them is friends with that girlfriend. being quiet about it makes me just about as guilty as they are. shit. at the same time, i don't want to tell my friend about her boyfriend and my roommate; and i can't tell if it's because i'm totally chicken shit, or if it's to spare her feelings. i'm not sure what to do. goddamn it.