post 1020

one of my favorite customers lost his long-time girlfriend to cancer the day before thanksgiving.

he's a good guy. you can see he was a hot mess in his youth; he tells you about his issues with drugs and alcohol, he's not shy about it. he's been clean for many years now, and his girlfriend was this lovely, sweet ex-hippy like he is. they were nice together. the kind of couple you could tell just liked being together, who were friendly and pleasant and just overall the sort of customers that you enjoyed working with. he told us when she got sick, because she stopped coming in with him, due to issues with her weak immune system. if you have issues with your immune system, the grocery store is pretty much the last place on earth you want to hang out. we are like a giant, over-sized, juicy petri dish. at first we were full of concern but sure she would get better. that never happened, and when it started getting worse we all just did the best we could feeding them both and making sure when he came in that he was taken care of. he never really had to wait in line, we knew what he liked and often had it ready for him before he came in, we'd make sure he remembered the sprite and ask how she was and if she wanted anything special.

it's rare, but some customers become your friends before you realize it.

her passing is an awful, horrible thing. watching him go through grief not once, but twice is painful for everyone. when she stopped being coherent and here, it was bad. now that she's gone, it's worse. no one knows what to do, so we all just do our best. that includes calling and checking in and making casseroles, or just listening to him when he wants to talk.

i didn't hear about her death until after thanksgiving. my thanksgiving day was wonderful, full of people i love and a metric ton of fowl, and i feel guilty now for being so blissfully unaware of what was going on. i feel guilty for being so lucky to have had an awesome day. i know that there's nothing i can do about that, that there was nothing i could do that day even, other than love my people and be grateful for them. i can't imagine thanksgiving falling on the day after the love of your life, your mother, sister, or friend, dies; i don't think anyone in that family will celebrate the same ever again. i can only imagine it will always be bittersweet at best. what holiday without someone you love isn't?

i know this post comes to you late, a week after the fact. i've been thinking it over and wondering if i should even say anything since it's not my story to tell. it's been on my mind, though, quite a bit. i feel horrible for the people involved, thankful that even with all the crap my family's been through this year we're all still together, and have spent a lot of time thinking about death and dying and families. not the perkiest of holiday thoughts, to be sure, but i know that at least any good times i have this season will be less likely to be taken for granted. you just never know what tomorrow is going to bring.