no way

i thought i had to be at work at ten this morning, but then in the shower i realized i don't have to be anywhere until eleven. meaning i got up an hour earlier than i had to, and was already soaking wet so no going back to bed for me. i am a genius. since i have all this free time, i'm going to leave you with some short work stories that you might find funny and i have been too lazy to tell you.

1. the other day a girl i have a very cursory relationship with told me way too much about her piercings. eating lunch together does not mean that i ever want to hear about your hood piercing, your double nipple piercings (two in each boob), and how much it hurts when they pierce your labia. TOO MUCH INFORMATION. plus, now when i see her all i can think about are her privates, and to be perfectly frank, this is not pleasant for me. i am never eating lunch with her again.
2. a whole bunch of guys at work are busy growing mustaches. why? who knows. what's funnier is that they all just started doing it, no one talked about it, it isn't some big funny joke on the rest of us, they just all up and decided that mustaches are the thing to do. sometimes in solidarity i draw a finger 'stache and flash it at them.
3. i thought i had another story, but i can't remember it. whoops. i guess that means i should pack it up and head into work. today is my friday! whoo!