whew

causland 3, originally uploaded by pinprick.

so it was just a broken valve stem, easily fixed and only $10 (which i still had to borrow). it made for a stressful morning and a ride to work that was all clenched stomach and grinding teeth. i had that moment i've been having a lot lately, the "what the fuck am i doing?" moment, wherein i realize i have no savings, no backup plan, a job that costs me more than i make, and the knowledge that i have to just suck it up and wait one more month and then maybe my real life (whatever that means) will begin. being here is frustrating, both in a physical and an emotional way. i'm looking for a new job but nothing seems any better than what i'm doing. i'm looking for a new apartment but they are all so expensive. i'm going to go down to hud and apply for low-income housing, i'm going to go to a credit counselor and try to get all that shit worked out (know of anyone good?), and i'm going to try really hard to stop angst-ing and acting like every setback is the end of the world.

i have become a very un-fun fat girl. dude, that sucks.