today was very adventures in psychotherapy! in a madcap, bullshit sort of way.
they gave me some ativan. if course, i'm so keyed up that it took an hour to kick in. right now though, i feel okay. (tired.) i will give you the full update tomorrow, when i've had some sleep. lots of parts of today were a cluster-fuck, and there was a moment when i felt like collapsing in a sobbing heap in my car and just going home where i could cry in peace, but i will admit i did more than i thought i could today.
your emails have been so nice. i can't believe the support i've recieved, some of it from practically strangers. i feel really lucky, and thankful. i hope i've written you all back, and if you're a friend and i haven't talked to you on the phone, it's because i sort of can't stop crying. i'm hoping that part goes away along with the sleeplessness. cross your fingers.
the worst thing about this: becker re-runs are now oddly appealing.
1 comment:
I'm glad this day finally arrived and that you got some meds -- bummer about the madcap/bullshit part of it. I tend to think it's a crap-shoot in the mental health arena, and that there are a lot of folks in that field who....probably shouldn't be? I encountered that with my son over the years, taking him to various counselors. However, I personally had one once that truly did help me and I thought very highly of her - still do. So sometimes we get lucky. I wonder if it's more beneficial to see if the medication works first. Chances are it will, but finding the right therapist can be depressing and anxiety-ridden (and expensive) in itself. Who really needs that hassle if the meds work? ~Tonya
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