whew

mornings still seem to be the worst for me. i get all panic-y right about the time i jump into the shower for some reason. secret fear of being discovered dead and naked? maybe. you know my grandfather, the one with only one eye, died on the toilet when i was a kid. that's permanently scarred me for life. no matter how noble a life may have been, die in a bathroom and you are always going to be the family joke.

his life wasn't that noble, actually. he was sort of a jerk, but still. he's known for two things only; his fake eye and being dead on a toilet.

last night i slept all by myself. meaning, no pills helped me get there. i got tired, i put my head down on my pillow, and the next thing i knew it was morning. delightful! sleep, my friend, i missed you.

i applied for a position at work that would let me keep my job, but do it in the back room, away from customers. this would be great for me. i like my co-workers, i don't want to look for a brand-new job, but i am not good at sales. in fact, i downright suck at it. you want to haggle? great, let me pass you off to M. you want to yell? here's a number to call, they can help. i don't have enough patience or ambition to make commissioned sales work for me. i know it, and everyone else knows it too. let's hope they move me.