um, so i'm single again. of course, still living with my boyfriend, but not as his girlfriend. i guess when it rains it pours, even if it is raining shit. a girl at work uses yahoo personals, and the fisherman's profile came up as one of her matches the other day. sweet. she told everyone at work, including me, which led to one very sad, very long, very humiliating day of work. his response to it was, "i'm sorry your friends found it." not, "i'm sorry i did it," or even "i'm sorry i hurt your feelings by internet shopping for a new girl," but "sorry your friends found it, suckah!"
i can't prove that he did anything on the side, or even think he engaged in any real-world extracurricular activities, but i don't want to wait for that to happen. we've had some issues, like most couples do, but i was sort of waiting for them to smooth out. let's face it, we are at a point in our relationship when things maybe aren't super fun and exciting, otherwise known as "real life" and while the honeymoon bloom might be off the rose, i don't think that means we're doing badly. or were, i guess. for him, it was a reason for major freaking out. or it could have been an excuse to start a fight. who knows.
in the end, i still think he's a good man who tried hard, but it wasn't (isn't) enough. i'm sad, honestly, it's just that with all other crap going on i'm a bit cried out. i think that makes him feel like i'm a cold-stone bitch, but i'm tired of thinking of him constantly. the one thing he never understood is how i wasn't looking to make him the center of my life. i love him, but i don't expect him to fulfill all my emotional needs, and i don't think couples joined at the hip are particularly healthy. i need too much of my own space, even if that space is mainly in my head, for his comfort. in that regards i failed miserably as a girlfriend. however, i do get more points for effort since i never posted an on-line personal ad. enough said.
