Monday, December 31, 2012

bits and bobs about phones and dreams

for years and years and years i have made my living with phones.  i have answered them, and i have done telephone surveys, and i have sold them.  in real life, the phone and i are not best friends.  it's sort of a necessary evil to me, you know?  the invention of texting was like a godsend.  all of this means that when i have dreams that especially bother me, phones are somehow involved.

take the night before last.  i kept getting all these calls from the kid's bio-mom.  i was dodging them, making her leave messages, and then deleting them without even listening to them (have you done that in real life? it's like one of the best feelings ever, on par with finally getting to a bathroom when you've been driving for a long time with a full bladder).  when we finally did get on the phone together, she yelled at me for all the terrible ways i was raising the girlchild.  she was irate and spent a lot of time yelling at me about how awful i was, and what i terrible job i was doing.  hooray, for parental anxiety dreams!

then last night i had a dream about my dad.  normally i love those dreams, because most of the time they consist of the two of us talking about random stuff and him giving me some sort of advice.  granted, a lot of the time the advice is nonsensical, like "make sure to water the plants with juice," but i like talking to him.  in last night's somnabulist theater, he wasn't dead, but had merely left my mother and family to run off with some hot, young, latina woman.  i only saw the back of her, but she had great hair.  i kept trying to call him and only got his voicemail.  the messages i left him became progressively angrier and more upset.  i was so sad and just wanted him to tell my why he'd left us.  i was also upset that he hadn't called me on my birthday.  at some point i ended up in an abandoned castle, with a glow in the dark dog keeping watch as i slept.  because, you know, dream logic. 

resolutions: are we going to make them? any ideas?

Saturday, December 29, 2012

new year ahoy!

truth be told, 2012 was pretty hunky dory.  we're ending it on a high note, as well; december was wonderful, we all had a good christmas, and we're looking forward to a new year's eve at home. 

as usual, the plan is nibbles, followed by lounging.  this year in addition to all the little bites i make, i'd like to include some traditional good luck foods.  long noodles, for long life, little dumplings shaped like purses, for good fortune, a galette des roi, maybe even some hoppin john.  new year's eve is the first holiday i ever spent with my little family, so while i've always been fond of it, i'm kind of crazy about it now.  i like planning out the meal, i like that we stay home, it's a goofy, no-pressure holiday for us. 

christmas this year was pretty amazing.  D and i bought a new computer, and the screen is huge, it has a ridiculous amount of memory, and it's not in the living room, which is nice.  i need to clean up my laptop and maybe get a new operating system for it so we can use it for the next few years as well.  then! for our christmas present, the boychik got us a new tv and blue ray player! the amazing thing about that, besides the awesomeness of having a kid who buys electronics, is that because of his discount at work (best buy) and the fact that both were "open boxes" he got it all for under $100.  the blue ray player is also wireless, so in addition to being able to watch new, fancy, hi-def movies, we can stream netflix right on the tv. 

it's been so long since we've been able to cozy on the couch and watch a movie or tv show.  i had no idea how much i missed it!  the days after christmas found us all relaxing, watching dvds we'd gotten as presents, and lots and lots of tv shows on netflix.  it was a very thoughtful gift, and i can understand now why he was so excited to give it to us.  what a boy! 

this weekend i might try to clean up the holiday debris and do something crafty.  i might just also watch a lot of tv and drink tons of coffee.  we'll see!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

four years

i meant to write this post yesterday, because four years ago yesterday, i had what would end up being the best, and last, date of my life.

i know, i know, i'm ridiculous, but seriously, the date i had with D four years ago was awesome.  he made chili verde, we drank wine, we both wore stripey shirts, and we made out in the kitchen.  don't try to argue with the math with that.  wine + porky goodness + kissing in the kitchen = grow up and get married. true story.

today, four years ago, i met my kids.  they sat on one couch while D and i sat on another, and they played their DS's and gave us sidelong glances, and there was a lot of giggling and happy times. i had literally thought for all of five minutes about being step-parent before that, and while i was not sure i could do it, i knew that day how much i liked them, and that if i already felt that way, then we'd probably be okay.

meeting them right before the holidays was a good thing. i remember that first christmas, after i'd met them, and mom making fun of me because my chin was all pink from making out (!), and making furtive calls outside to tell him how much i missed him, and how much fun we had on new year's eve.  to me, my beginning of my family will always be tied up in happy holiday memories, with us goofing in the kitchen and buying each other presents and having that doofy, newly in love feeling.  shy and happy and spending a lot of time together.  i never forget how lucky i am, how happy i am, how at home i feel with these three amazing people who made me part of their family.  

Friday, December 21, 2012


i just burnt my hand on a pan of cookies.  it was worth it, they are delicious cookies, and all i want to do on my four days off of work is bake and drink beers and listen to xmas music.  for real.  i'm living the dream!

currently in the oven are my chocolate cookies with cinnamon, white chips and dried cherries.  awaiting oven time, gingerbread cupcakes.  they smell so good already, unbaked, that i can hardly wait to put them in the damn oven. 

Thursday, December 06, 2012

is it weird

that i am super duper extra excited that my nephew got an email address?  he sent me a note today with a million emoticons and i almost died it was so cute.  of course, i wrote him right back. 

then i made another mushroom ornament, only with this years felting technique. 
when i'm old and die and the kids go through my ornaments (and other stuff) will they be like, "jesus, amanda, what's with all the tentacles, skulls and shrooms? why was our xmas tree always so weird?"  wherever i go after this, i'm pretty sure i'll chuckle at that.  i hope they argue over who gets the gloomy bear. 

Monday, December 03, 2012

big booty squirrel

this squirrel is both the color and shape of nicki minaj, therefore, it is the Minaj Squirrel.  because it is made of felted wool, it's already 500% smarter than the original nicki minaj, making it the perfect ornament for our xmas tree. 

tried needle felting with my friend anne this weekend.  i had this idea that it was going to be the easiest thing on earth, and then when it took EFFORT to do it right, i got fussy.  i forget to act my age sometimes.  anne was very patient with me, and i worked on it until it looked right, and then i felt like a genius.  it's not even like it's a very hard thing to do, but it does take practice and patience and sometimes that's hard for me.  now that i can make thing that don't look totally ridiculous, though, i love it.  hooray for another craft!

martha stewart conspired to make my weekend with anne a disaster, but she failed.  yes, the candy we made following her terrible instructions turned out too hard, but it was still delicious and we still got to use a candy thermometer.  yes, her felt ornaments needed a lot of stuff we actually couldn't find, but we improvised and our ornaments are cuter.  plus, friendship always grows when you spend time together complaining about martha stewart screwing you.

broke out a whole lot of xmas CDs tonight, much to the girlchild's delight.  she said, "oh, you have so many xmas CDs," and i told her i have like a drop in the bucket compared to my mom.  she seemed even more pleased by that.  what are you doing to get ready for the holiday?