Wednesday, November 28, 2012


the world is a messed up place when your stepson says to you, "make sure you drink a glass of water before bed" because you might have had some beers while re-watching american horror story season one. 

MESSED UP.  i'm a grown up! i'll drink a glass of water when i wanna! (but he's right, dammit.)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

happy thanksgiving!

this morning, i am thankful for my husband making me breakfast, as well as a big cup of coffee. i'm thankful for my two amazing stepkids, still in bed, because we all stayed up way too late last night. i'm thankful for my friends and family, and the new babies that showed up this year and the ones on their way.  i'm thankful for my job, and yarn, and cartoons on the internet, and my new birthday boots.  i'm thankful for handwritten letters and hugs and family high fives.  i miss my cat and dad and uncle all terribly, but i'm thankful that i got to spend time with them and know them.  i'm thankful for what i have and for what i've had and for what's to come.  i'm wishing all of you a wonderful day full of delicious nibbles and political arguments with relatives and parade floats and maybe a glass of wine to two to help the day along!  

Tuesday, November 20, 2012


i've done nothing tonight but roast a shit load of eggplants.  by that, i mean FIVE.  my mom really likes D's baba ganoush, and so that is what we are contributing to thanksgiving.  are any of us middle eastern? no.  why this has become my husband's go-to dish as far as my mother is concerned, i do not know.  he has to work tomorrow, though, and he insists on making the pitas from scratch, so i thought the least i could do it get the eggplants all roasted and skinned.  after all, that's about all i plan on doing.  not because i don't want to, but because when D gets in that kitchen and gets to work, sometimes it's best to stay out of his way.  also, according to him, i never add enough lemon juice. 
i also mention this every time, but it goes without saying, when we make ganoush, we make mighty boosh jokes.  "the ganoush is loose and it's a little bit raw!"  dorks.

i'm also busy working on our holiday cards.  a few years ago i got this awesome stencil kit from my portland friends, and once again, i'm putting it to use.  this time it's a kraft paper card, and navy blue buck on it, with a silvery-gold buck staggered on top.  the effect is weirdly 3D, modern and not too holiday specific.  i know, we celebrate christmas, everyone we know celebrates christmas, why not making a fucking christmas card?  because i am a jerk. also, i think the whole happy holiday spirit is one i'd much rather invoke than religion-specific sentiment.  what's important about the holiday to me is this: my loved ones knowing that i love them, that i'm thinking about them, that i hope we all make it through another dark winter happy and healthy, and let's get together and have a tasty bite sometime.  to that end, i send out ridiculous cards that people either love or feel completely ambivalent about.  hooray!

return from medical mountain

my doctor's appointment went well this morning.  she did recommend i go back to get some old fashioned talk therapy from a shrink, and i agreed,  it's been years since i've been to one, i'm sure i'm overdue for a tune-up of the mental variety.  i also had a few health issues that i was busy turning into cancer, which she nicely pointed out were NOT cancer and prescribed some medication to make the itchy parts of me less itchy. 

short work week thanks to thanksgiving, which we are spending at my mom's house this year.  well, most of us are.  the boychik has to work, which is unfortunate, but at 18 he's going to be annoyed if he has to go to big family dinner with us, or annoyed if he has to work, so he may as well get paid.  the only non-annoying thanksgiving i can think of for him right now involves his computer, a large pizza all to himself, and a house with no one in it.  he would have a lot to be thankful for if that were his thanksgiving. 

we're getting deluged out here, and this morning when my husband dropped me off at work i asked for clam chowder for dinner.  how much do i love that i have a partner i can ask that of? and not only that, he makes good chowder.  and when i say it "chow-dah" he only rolls his eyes a little.  hooray! maybe i'll have a midnight bowl of it and go back to bed.  you may have noticed, this post comes to you from the other side of 2 am.  my sleep schedule is undergoing some renovations. 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

little black submarines

for quite a while now i've thought i didn't like the black keys.  i'm not sure why; so many of my friends have recommended them to me, and i was like, "yeah, i guess."  this last week, though, i realized how much i loved them, and have been torturing my family with loud late night sing-alongs.  needless to say, we all know all the words now. 

in other news, i think i'm hitting my winter blues early this year.  i have an actual doctor's appointment tomorrow, because no matter how many vitamins i take, how much sleep i get, how much i try to not just lie in bed listening to songs over and over again, i find myself in the same old funk.  i seem to have two speeds, sleepy or nervous.  neither is doing me any good. 

my cat has been gone for about three weeks now, too.  i don't think she's coming home.  i keep having dreams about her, and keep thinking i hear her right outside my window, but no luck.  i miss my lulu. 

such a bummer post!  normally i love fall, and this early holiday season.  that's one reason i know something in my chemistry is off.  after seeing the doctor, i think i'm also going to try to find a nice new shrink who will listen to me and say things like, "and how does that make you feel?" we all know i just want prince valium to come to the rescue, but that might not be the best idea i've ever had!

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

i am welfare

hi, i'm going to get a little political and personal on here.  if you are sick of hearing about elections and politics and issues, you are more than happy to go look at kittens.  may i suggest lil bub?! she is the sweetest little mutant in the whole wide world and i love her. 

what bummed me out the most about this election was how nasty everyone seemed to get.  i'm the first to admit i have pretty pinko, lefty tendencies, vote democratic most of the time (when i'm not voting green like the hippie i am), but some of the rhetoric coming from the vocal right seemed downright cruel.  i can't tell you how much it saddens me to read endless facebook posts and blog entries about how people who vote for obama want handouts, how people on welfare are fleecing the system, how government shouldn't in any way step in and help out women, children and families.   when did it become a bad thing to extend some compassion towards those with less? when did it make us evil, lazy and socialist?

personally, i have benefited from public assistance.  more than once in my life, a government or social agency stepped in to help me out when i needed it.  as a child, i had some dental issues that my dad's insurance didn't cover, and he and my mom couldn't afford.  thanks to a deal the tribe i belong to and a local tribe made, i was able to get the dental work i needed on a nearby reservation.  i got student loans in college, as well as money for work study.  both of those are government programs.  while in college, i used the local food pantry once or twice when what i made in part time jobs didn't cover my ramen bills. did i sometimes spend student loan or work study money on beer and going out? sure.  i was young and made poor decisions, like everyone else i know.  was i actively trying to steal money from any government agency? no.  after college, as a young woman working and living on her own, i enrolled in a program through planned parenthood, where government money and donations helped with the cost of my birth control. 

people like me, who use the system at times when they need it, for whatever reason, make up the majority of those helped by social and government assistance programs.  flavor flav taking a limo and all his kids to pick up various welfare checks is an image that too many people cling to; that those who use welfare are "not us," are different, are morally and socially lacking in some way.  in reality, i am the face of welfare.  probably more people than you know are, too.  i know my kids benefited from health care services their mom and my husband received, and i'm grateful for that.  my father and his family got government assistance.  not for long, and not with the intent of not working.  i think if more people were outspoken about this, maybe we could reduce some of the stigma and negativity surrounding discussions of welfare and government's role in assisting those with less. 

you can tell a lot about a country, a tribe, a community, a group, by how they treat those who have the least.  if that's the case, then what does that say about you? your government? your political party?