i am welfare

hi, i'm going to get a little political and personal on here.  if you are sick of hearing about elections and politics and issues, you are more than happy to go look at kittens.  may i suggest lil bub?! she is the sweetest little mutant in the whole wide world and i love her. 

what bummed me out the most about this election was how nasty everyone seemed to get.  i'm the first to admit i have pretty pinko, lefty tendencies, vote democratic most of the time (when i'm not voting green like the hippie i am), but some of the rhetoric coming from the vocal right seemed downright cruel.  i can't tell you how much it saddens me to read endless facebook posts and blog entries about how people who vote for obama want handouts, how people on welfare are fleecing the system, how government shouldn't in any way step in and help out women, children and families.   when did it become a bad thing to extend some compassion towards those with less? when did it make us evil, lazy and socialist?

personally, i have benefited from public assistance.  more than once in my life, a government or social agency stepped in to help me out when i needed it.  as a child, i had some dental issues that my dad's insurance didn't cover, and he and my mom couldn't afford.  thanks to a deal the tribe i belong to and a local tribe made, i was able to get the dental work i needed on a nearby reservation.  i got student loans in college, as well as money for work study.  both of those are government programs.  while in college, i used the local food pantry once or twice when what i made in part time jobs didn't cover my ramen bills. did i sometimes spend student loan or work study money on beer and going out? sure.  i was young and made poor decisions, like everyone else i know.  was i actively trying to steal money from any government agency? no.  after college, as a young woman working and living on her own, i enrolled in a program through planned parenthood, where government money and donations helped with the cost of my birth control. 

people like me, who use the system at times when they need it, for whatever reason, make up the majority of those helped by social and government assistance programs.  flavor flav taking a limo and all his kids to pick up various welfare checks is an image that too many people cling to; that those who use welfare are "not us," are different, are morally and socially lacking in some way.  in reality, i am the face of welfare.  probably more people than you know are, too.  i know my kids benefited from health care services their mom and my husband received, and i'm grateful for that.  my father and his family got government assistance.  not for long, and not with the intent of not working.  i think if more people were outspoken about this, maybe we could reduce some of the stigma and negativity surrounding discussions of welfare and government's role in assisting those with less. 

you can tell a lot about a country, a tribe, a community, a group, by how they treat those who have the least.  if that's the case, then what does that say about you? your government? your political party? 

what time is it?

it's motherfucking soapbox time!

i'm sorry, i can't help it.  sometimes when i get all riled up, the motherfuckers just come out of my face without my realizing it.  ahem.

let me tell you something serious: i have never had an abortion.  true story.  so far as i know it, all 35 years of my life my uterus has been embryo free.  if i was ever pregnant, at any time, i didn't know it.

do you know how i managed such a daring feat? was it abstinence? no.  i'm sorry to burst your bubble, but i was not a virgin when i married.  wait, i'm not sorry to burst your bubble.  i was a happy, sexually active adult for about 16 years before i married my husband.  you know why i never got pregnant? i was armed, at an early age, with a working knowledge of my body as well as birth control methods.  it's literally that simple.

when women don't feel guilty about being sexual being, when they are armed with knowledge, they make better decisions for themselves.  they take care of themselves.  this might mean making babies, it might not.  regardless of that, i'm not less of a woman because no child came from my uterus, not less of a woman because i didn't "save" myself for marriage, not any less of  a PERSON because i think my body is mine and i deserve access to health care. 

so yeah, i never had an abortion.  i know a lot of women who have, though, women that i love and would full on getting into a knife-fight for. whatever their reason (or reasons) for terminating a pregnancy, it was theirs.  not yours, not mine, not anyone else's.  let's trust them to be kind to themselves, to be true to what they believe, to make the very best decisions they can.  if you think they're old enough to be a parent, let's trust them to do what they think is best for their bodies and families and lives.  any reproductive decision is hard to make without the GOP and Jesus all up in our uterus.  don't believe in abortion? don't have one. 

look, i just solved the abortion debate. i did it while tipsy and angry too! 

feeling very, very good

watching obama's speech last night gave me chills. seeing his lovely family, seeing the mix of people in the crowd, seeing how happy everyone looked was so refreshing. for the first time in a while i felt like hope wasn't such a bad thing, that maybe that's exactly what we need right now.

i don't think it's all going to be puppies and rainbows and sunshine from here on out, but i do believe things are going to get better.

my date last night came down with a cold, which i knew about before i went over there. i told him it would be okay to reschedule; that if he was feeling lousy we could hang out some other time. he made a nice dinner, i brought over some movies, we played with the kittens, then he took some theraflu and passed the fuck out. eh. part of me feels bad for the poor guy, since i'm pretty sure getting sick wasn't high on his list of things to do yesterday, but part of me is annoyed that he had me over to start with.

plus, he's not very tall and i keep swearing up and down my next boyfriend is going to be TALL. maybe this is a sign. who knows.

i'm going home today to see my family, which i haven't done in weeks and weeks, making me a shitty daughter/sister/aunt, but today i'm totally going to try to redeem myself.

hail to the anti-christ!

my date was a failure, but my man won the presidency, and i think in later years that's what i'll remember.

also, getting to rub it into that sanctimonious bitches face that the "anti-christ" won will be so impossibly delicious.

we're talking about it, dammit

the election! today at work a girl wanted to talk to me about how disappointed she was to see i had an obama sticker on my cheese binder. i shrugged and told her i was sorry, but he's the man for me. she got all flustered and told me that she could never, ever vote for obama because she truly believes he's the anti-christ. she got another shrug from me and i told her that was okay, because i don't believe in god. she gave me that look and said, "i'm sorry to hear that, because he believes in you."

ah, nothing like mixing both politics and religion in one small, condescending, annoying conversation. truth be told, i kind of feel like ratting her out to the union for bringing it up.

i woke up this morning totally thrilled with myself for not having a panic attack yesterday but already feeling anxious because i realized it's the day before the election. all month i've been busy with other shit, but then i realized "oh my god! this is it!" i've spent all day wondering what tomorrow will be like. i want to rush home from work and turn on the radio and stay glued to my computer to watch the results trickle in. i want to buy a six pack of beer and some cheese and crackers and pace around the house calling my pop every five minutes to confer with him. however, i am going on a date so i won't. or maybe i'll con him into turning on his fancy cable tv and letting me watch voraciously.

yeah, that's right. a date. i'm going to bring it up now because i can. because maybe this time i'll do everything the opposite of what i normally do and see how that goes. it's a guy i met on halloween. he's nice and smart and rescued two kittens kicked out of their litter and truth be told, i like that he's a cat guy. even if it was reluctant at first, because i saw him with his four week old kittens and DAMN. little kittens are very cute. he's got a nice big couch, and seemingly few issues. it's going to be a casual date, and while i won't kiss and tell, i promise to give you enough details to keep you interested.

no matter who you want to win, i hope you vote. sure, i'm rooting for my guy, but no matter what i'll be damn glad to see less of george w. on my tv.

early up!

i had to get up at five this morning to work. i NEVER see five a.m., unless by chance i am just falling asleep or having some wicked insomnia. it was very strange and quiet and kind of smelled pretty. very green and new and fresh, with a subtle hint of autumn. good times.

i really do need to quit my job. i hate to say it, because i say it or think it pretty much constantly, but it's true. i hate it. i hate that i don't get paid shit, that i have more responsibility than i should, and get pulled around every which way from corporate. ugh. my benefits aren't even that amazing to put up with this. if i moved i could totally get a better job, right?

also every time i hear anyone mention palin or see her on tv i want to scream. amazingly, until this time i was able to keep my crazy liberal mouth shut at work, but today when someone was all, "oh, i just love her," i said, "yeah, she's great! she promotes abstinence only sex-education and her 17 year old daughter is knocked up! she's awesome!" i got the stink eye, but you know what? it's funny 'cause it's true, and that stink eye was delicious.