NO!

the world is a messed up place when your stepson says to you, "make sure you drink a glass of water before bed" because you might have had some beers while re-watching american horror story season one. 

MESSED UP.  i'm a grown up! i'll drink a glass of water when i wanna! (but he's right, dammit.)

my newest crush

*dreamy! handy!*

this guy, antonio ballatore.  he has a show on HGTV, called the antonio treatment, which i have quickly become obsessed with.  i guess he's been on tv for a while, but i only recently discovered him.  i tried to find a photo of him with his awesome glasses, but this will do.  isn't he handsome?  his decorating is also totally fucking insane, and i mean that in the best way possible.  his rooms look bizarre and beautiful, and he's got what i think of as a coney island aesthetic.  plus, he's tall, he can obviously grow a beard, and he's got a super cool dog.  swoon alert!

just check out some of these awesome rooms for yourself, and try to tell me they aren't ridiculously wonderful.  i can only hope some of my house looks so good someday!  

menstruation nation

tonight we were watching bob's burgers (quickly becoming my new favorite cartoon) and at one point, the youngest daughter is saying she doesn't want to hang out with her older sister and mother because they are the "menstruation nation."  if i'd had milk in my mouth, it would have come out my nose at that point, i laughed so hard.  the truth is, as much as the girlchild loves me and my mother, i can tell she feels the same way sometimes, and just wants to hang out with her brother and pop because with them the subject of periods and cramps and annoying things like bloating never come up.  i am, indeed, part of the menstruation nation.  i can totally remember feeling the same way about my mom and aunts, and it's ridiculous and hilarious to be on the other side of that.  you'll be happy to know she found it funny as well, and not just because i cackled when the kid said it.

yeah, i cackle.  just like my mother!

ahem

this sums up how i feel about the oscars the best.  not only did i not watch, but i didn't even feel like checking out the pretty dresses and shit on the internet today.  i'm either becoming a) a crotchety old lady or b) maybe more grown up, but in a less crotchety way.  whatever.   

oh, the angst of youth

i poke fun at the boychik's angst, shudder at the thought of the girlchild going through puberty and subjecting me to the horrors i previously visited upon my own (sainted) mother, but tonight i watched a show on independent lens about william s. burroughs and remembered that as far as angst and ennui go, none of us has a thing on old bill.

the beats were a huge part of my adolescence.  i don't even say that in an ironic way; i was terribly earnest and passionate about my love of the beats.  i read everything i could get my hands on, delighting in lawrence ferlinghetti, devouring ginsberg, prickling at burroughs.  as a young, mostly white girl living on an island, relating to a queer junkie was a stretch for my tiny brain, but the discomfort he provided was sublime.  his words were scratchy and amazing and it was the first time i ever realized that pain and horror and unhappiness could create beauty.  he was truly disenfranchised in a way i couldn't begin to understand, and it was burroughs along with the other beats that really confirmed my love of writing and reading.  it suddenly wasn't just an escape from my own awkwardness, i realized it could be a transformation.  it's almost embarrassing for me to admit this to you, but i know we all have those writers, those artists, who wake something up in us, makes us both more than what we are and also solidly, truly, ourselves.  transcendental acceptance of our own failings.  or something.

i don't think D really liked watching the movie, but i think the boychik got a little something out of it.  if anything, we got to see peter weller in some ridiculous eyeglasses, smoking a cigar and being infinitely smarter than his robocop background might lead to you believe.  also, patti fucking smith.  awesome!  if you get a chance to see this movie, i recommend it.  my favorite transgender, pangender, transhuman, genesis breyer-p.orridge also makes an appearance and that is always something to see.

hello, darlings

look at this awesome purse my sainted mother gave me for xmas.  it's giant, it's sturdy, it's covered in sugar skulls and it's got a rad flat bottom so it stands upright (making it perfect for knitting).  it's funny how i rate purses now not just based on awesome looks, but whether or not it can carry my yarn and needles, and how easy it is for me to knit right out of the bag. 

there's an oddities mini-marathon on over at discovery, so i've been working on my missoni blanket and watching.  i think it would be totally worth the price of plane tickets to take the kids to NY to see the place in person.  we could go to some museums too, so it would be all kinds of educational... 

hootenanny

my baptist neighbors have become more and more annoying as of late.  it's one thing to reproduce like the fucking duggars, another to get rid of your tv and force your children to sing god songs all night to your ill-tuned piano and guitar.  i mean, isn't that child abuse?!  ugh.  i mean, i'm all happy for their "family unity" and "quality time" but having to hear jesus songs in my living room is one of those things i never thought would happen. 

speaking of child abuse, now that school has started some new television protocols are in place.  personally, i am very pleased with them, but until the children get used to them i have a feeling i'll be hearing more "when can we turn it on?" than i ever wanted to.  the rules are pretty simple and not a big deal; no tv before 7:30 pm, and no tv if homework/chores aren't done.  i love coming home to a quiet house, and i like feeling freed from tv's leash.  yeah, i'm a grown up and i should be able to control my television impulses but DAMN, who doesn't like coming home and making a warm spot on the couch while watching familiar and well loved sitcoms?  i think overall this is going to be good for all of us, and i think after time we'll stop being so hooked on it.  or something.  we might all go insane and the boychik might use his numerous weapons to express his displeasure with us.

how's that for some quality family time?  

(and yes, of course i threw a little party in my brain about the start of the school year.  i also came home for a nooner with D, which was delightful.  don't tell my mom.)

these are their stories

how did i not hear about this art show before?

i am specifically in love with this needlepoint.  the kate beacon's are also lovely, and really, any of the ones that involve Briscoe or Stabler are all right with me. 

oh, louie

how did i not know about the new FX show with louis ck?! i love louis ck! hence, i love his new show. it's terribly inappropriate for kids, though, so i watch it on hulu. it's a really, really good show. dry and terrible and raunchy and funny and sometimes exquisitely painful. are you watching it? do you love it?

while i'd like to stay home all afternoon and watch louie on my computer while eating crackers, i am instead going to be a productive grown-up. i have a bit of a longer lunch break than usual, so i'm going to go wash my car (D's car, technically) and clean it out. i love my boyfriend, but his car is full of crap and needs a vacuum, a wash, a thorough dusting and a new happy tree air freshener.

a few hippie things

• we're going to give up buying paper towels. yes, they are handy and useful and all that, but they are also wasteful and expensive. there is no shortage of kitchen towels in this house, and so we're going to start using them more.
• there has been talk lately about us becoming a one car family. this scares the shit out of me for a few reasons, but the idea of spending less on gas, insurance and maintenance is pretty compelling. we could also use the small amount of money we got from selling one of the cars for savings and to get us out of some debt. nothing is set in stone yet, but it feels good to consider our options.
• D got some books about making his own awesome bikes, a lá atomic zombie, and now all we can talk about are making recumbent, low-rider, chopper bikes. (and trikes! i want a trike for shopping.)
• as always, we're trying to cut back on tv as well. i know, "why don't you just cancel the cable?" honestly? sometimes i really like watching tv. i have a few shows i really dig, and i like being able to knit/embroider/veg in front of the box on occasion. i guess i'm just trying to keep it all in moderation, and so far it's going okay.
  

stop shouting!

i fell asleep on the couch last night, and woke up at about 1:30 this morning to a woman on the tv shouting. i remember waking up with a start and thinking, "ah! stop shouting at me!" and then realizing she was a televangilist and was yelling about jesus. i got up and went to bed.

DAMMIT

i had a moderately crappy day at work. not entirely shitty, just annoying and i had to work with someone i have never worked with before and hope to never work with again. granted, my job is not entirely essential: i am support staff, i make work pleasant for my tech, and make sure that the patients are comfortable. i clean and tidy and enter information into databases. the tech i worked with today was such a snide little bitch. she talked over me when the patients were around, she was dismissive and condescending, and she did it all with a fake plastic smile plastered to her big, dumb, face. spending the day with her gave me heartburn. a special heartburn that can only be cured with red wine.

my period might be imminent.

the kids are sickly, so they spent the day at home today. well, one of them was legitimately sick, one might have been stretching it. either way, both got lots of time on the couch, and D picked up juice and pineapples for a punch of vitamin C. they both go back to school tomorrow, although i kind of think one of them should actually stay home. we'll see how it works out in the morning.

i have discovered that i love the band mastodon. it's metal and gorgeous and i don't know what it is about the fall that makes hard rock guitars sound so great. i read about them in spin magazine, and checked them out, and they are awesomely heavy. i wish i knew more kids into metal, i think i would have discovered them sooner. hooray for heavy metal!

(i was trying to blog while watching community, and i just can't. A) it's too funny, and B) joel mcHale is too delicious to not watch. i know, i called and cancelled the cable tv, but comcast are idiots and we still have it. don't get too excited, they charge me more now for the phone since we're not "bundled" so i'm not actually getting anything over on them. except we still get to watch tv while pretending to be upset that it's still on.)

points

• ordered some more new scrubs from UA. ahh, this week has been so comfy and awesome. guess what i discovered? i'm totally a solid scrub girl; no prints for me. i'm not sure why, but i am totally in love with the monochromatic look under a lab coat. i feel impossibly adult.
• the boosh is loose in my house! folks, did you know the wait for the mighty boosh on a dvd that plays in the states is OVER?! i found out today, and am not sure how i missed it for this long. season one is in the house and we are all pleased.
  
• my poor cat is totally flea-ridden and miserable. i just used some of that spot treatment on her last week, so it's too soon to re-dose her. i bought some spray that was supposed to help, but she hates it. it's entirely too hot to try to put the crack down, as well, because this is just primo flea weather. it's hard enough combatting the urge to melt into a puddle; fighting tiny, crafty, biting bugs? i am simply not up for it. this makes me a bad cat mom.
  
• the boychik comes home in a few days! we all kind of miss the little jerk. (i kid! he's really tall. you know, five foot nine and a half.)
• i discovered that these claw clips don't get pulled out by the magnet. guess who stopped brushing her hair? bonus points: named after my favorite cephalopod.
• it's hot in my house. it's hot in your house. it's hot everywhere. people are crabby and going nuts and it's gotten so bad the heat has zapped my will to drink beer.
  

gaga gregg

ooh, i got bit by the gaga bug. i can't help it! she makes me want to shake my ass. the other day i was listening along to the album and realized that her love games are a lot like old gregg's. i pointed this out to the kids the other day and they agreed.



also, i feel sort of guilty about this, but i totally got the girl child into lady gaga! this morning we listened to beautiful dirty rich a few times while dancing in the kitchen and drinking coffee. yes, at 10 i probably shouldn't let her do either but in my own defense she drinks tiny of cups of joe that are at least half milk. um, so there.

a little old gregg

the kids introduced me to old gregg this weekend. i'm not familiar with the mighty boosh, and am not sure if this clip is how it looked on tv, but goddamn if it didn't totally crack me up. the man's ringtone is "i'm old gregg!" and we yell it at each other all the time.

w00t

I HAVE CABLE TV. IN MY BEDROOM.

if you don't see or hear from me in a few days, please roll me over so i don't develop bed sores.

thanks!

tv on dvd

the problem with me is that lately i only watch television shows that are no longer on the air, so i rent or buy the dvds. what's awesome about it is i get to gorge myself on episodes, watching them whenever and however i want. a whole season at a time? awesome! right now i'm all into six feet under, and while i hated most of season 2 (it was just really awkward and tense and i developed a serious hatred of brenda), i hated it in a good way. it took a good long time to watch. season 3 i am loving, and have watched almost the whole thing. i'm one episode away from it being over.

this is when it sucks to watch an old tv show. i have a million questions like, what happens with lisa? where the hell is she? does brenda really redeem herself? is billy going to go batshit again? what happens to david, does he date the new guy or get back together with keith? and russell, what the hell. i kind of feel for the kid but am pissed about what he did to claire. what kills me is that i could get the answers to all these questions with a few google searches and some time spent on imdb. the temptation to learn all the answers is fierce! i won't do it, of course, and no one give me any hints, but the suspense is killing me.

edited to add: (assholes! i liked lisa. i did a lot of crying during the last episode. i just ordered season 4. assholes!)

old tv news

it was after moving to anacortes that i discovered six feet under. i found the first season at the library, then bought the second on amazon, used. i admit i didn't get totally into season two, mainly because i freaking HATE brenda, but now that it's almost over (one episode left!), i have ordered season three. i can't help myself. the fisher family is totally addictive! i'm going to donate all the seasons i buy to the library when i'm done. not because i'm so philanthropic, but because it was lame to finish that first season and not have the second to look forward to. also, as much as i love six feet under, i don't feel like watching it all the time, like i do with say, the bluth's. the fisher's are totally engrossing, but the bluth's are friendly, and good to watch while i paint or goof off. the library will also always have my copies of six feet under, so i can just go rent them like all the other kids. i'm not elitist! honest!

half windsor

half windsor, originally uploaded by pinprick.

ew, i'm getting sick. hung out with my sister earlier this week and she spent a lot of time complaining of a sore throat. i didn't pay much attention to her because it's not like we were going to make-out, but now i'm paying the price.

i found being there at the library the other day. i love that movie. peter sellers is wonderful in it, but i love shirley maclaine in it more. i have a huge soft spot for her. the fisherman thought it was kind of slow, but watched the whole thing with me. earlier tonight we were watching one of the three channels we get on our tv, and survivor was on. i admit i don't watch much reality tv (it makes me feel kind of tense and i think it's all staged anyhow). survivor in particular makes me uncomfortable. all that faux-tribal decor; the torches, the "immunity" idol, the glorified tree-houses, it all reeks of stereotyped cultural appropriation. why not brand the members of the tribes, too? pierce their lips and make them wear plates? why don't the men go ahead and wear penis sheaths and the women go topless? it's like some backwards middle-american view of africa, of indigenous peoples, of a more "primitive" and "pure" way of being. plus, it's crazy cheesy. how can anyone take the jeff prost seriously? god, if he weren't selling us pre-packaged tension and schlock he would be hocking blenders on late night television. why is this show still on tv? and better yet, why haven't they sent the fame-hungry-assholes on it to someplace fridgid? dude, send them way up north and see how they do there. i mean, parkas aren't as saucy as bikinis, but watching someone freeze to death might be good rating too.

you should rue the day i discovered how to send posts from my cellphone

mainly because that means i can blog all day at work, but the posts will be tiny, boring, pointless, and often poorly punctuated.

i found my favorite show ever on tv tonight, blue planet, the deep edition. ever since i was a kid and saw giant sea turtles i've been kind of obsessed about the parts of the ocean we don't normally get to see. if anything spurred my love of cephalopods, it was this film. one look at the dumbo octopus and i was hooked. seeing it made me shiver with the creeps while wanting to hug it at the same time. i even took up oil painting again so i could have one in my room all the time. i painted the very one in the movie, and seeing it again tonight made me remember that first time. i have to buy that movie so i can watch it all the time. (although when i do see it i wonder who did the sound effects for it; i know that a lot of the "sounds" in the film were generated afterward and sometimes i watch it on mute because of that.) i forgot how much i love the anglers; they look like fat, disembodied heads wiggling through the water. ungainly and funny, while seriously freaky with their huge teeth and jaws. deep sea animals bring out the best and worst in me; i'm amazed by their lives, their resourcefulness, the way they live in a part of the world that seem like the least hospitable place on earth, and at the same time they freak me out, make my skin crawl and give me nightmares. it's remarkable how they can be so beautiful and hideous at the same time.

seven days left to finish packing. yesterday was a total bust, and i have a feeling today will be too. work has been long and draining; i've spent many hours on the phone trying to resolve customer issues, been yelled at more than i like, and the talking! my god, i come home some nights resolving to become mute. all that incessant small talk kills me. that combined with a very special time of the month that most of the women in the world have to deal with makes me very, very sleepy. i feel like tomorrow i'll get my groove back on, and then start with the real work of relocating my things. tonight, it's more of the simpsons and one more beer before bed. if you have any helpful tips or hints for how i can get more done, please feel free to leave them. of course if it's nothing but "put shit in boxes" advice, be warned i will come and burn down your house! i know how it's supposed to work, just not why i should have to do it.