cubicle farming

my sister and i have this terrible thing we do at work, which is refer to people on the other side of the divide as "the others."  they're probably on the calls we overhear the most, just because of the way our desks are set up.  the people in your actual row, ahead of you and behind you, are actually much farther away, whereas the person who sits on the other side of the cubicle divide is basically two feet away.  it's literally impossible not to hear them talking on the phone, or to each other.  that last part makes me nuts because i never chit chat with my neighbors because you know, i'm always on a call or working! also, we have this new, amazing technology to cut down on the noise at work called "instant messaging."  we're encouraged to use it so there isn't a lot of background noise when we're on calls.  no one ever needs to yell across an aisle because as a matter of fact, it's required that we have it up and operating the whole time we're at work.   

puppygate 2013, which is what we're now calling that breakdown about the death of a dog last week, is the main topic of conversation lately for my others. the woman in question literally won't shut up about the new puppy she's getting tomorrow.  new puppy this, new puppy that, new puppy all the time!  we've already established that i can be a bit uncaring, but i can't help but feel like maybe she's getting this puppy too soon.   it makes her grief seem less authentic to me.  yes, it felt staged to me at the time too, but now i'm almost more convinced that this is more about attention and drama than the sweet, fuzzy love a person feels for their pet.  i know, i know, everyone grieves their own way and we're all indvidual snowflakes of amazing, but jesus, she can't wait a week?  i think a week given over to sadness for a dog you loved is reasonable.

and it makes me think of LuLu, my sweet girl, and how she's been gone for three months now. part of me feels ready for a new pet, and part of me thinks that would be a dick thing to do because she's barely been gone.  i miss her all the time.  i still look for her at the front door when i wake up, i still have a giant bag of barely touched cat food, i keep her catnip mushroom in my knitting basket and her magical kitten whiskers in the jar on our mantle.  i still talk about her like she's here, but i suspect that has to do with just not knowing what happened.  she was a good cat and we loved her.  i don't want to rush into a new relationship with a pet.  i guess if i met another funny, talkative cat at work who jumped into my car, i'd go with it, but no kitten shopping for me just yet. 

CAT-astrophe

when i come home from work, one of two things normally happen; lulu comes running out from under the bed/chair/couch she's been hiding under and says hello, or i go outside and call her and she comes running from the car/bush/camp chair she's been hiding under to say hello.  either way, i can count on kitten headbutts and chit chat* when i get home.  last night, she was not home.  no big deal, i thought she'd come home around dinner time for a check in.  i mean, she always checks in, even if she stays out all night.  she likes when we're all home and hanging out, and revels in the attention we all lavish on her.  i went to bed at 11, and she still wasn't home. i started to get worried because i guess at heart i really am a crazy cat lady, and then sometime around midnight D and the girlchild woke me up to tell me she was home and bring her to bed so i could see her.  i was soooo relieved.  i mean, i know she's a grown-ass cat and can handle herself (the notch in her ear proves it), and that there was a good chance she was just out having kitten adventures, but still.  all i could think of was my poor kitten, smooshed by a car.  today my stepdaughter and i had this conversation via text;

me: i would have cried so much!

girlchild: we all would have.

me: i guess then we could have shaved our eyebrows** all together, though.

girlchild: haha, ya.

me: we would have been a weird looking family for a while.

girlchild: ya, but it would be fun to see who grew their eyebrows back first.

so i guess i was the only seriously worried one, but we were all happy to see her little kitten face at the door last night.

*i like to have one-way conversations with the cat where i ask her about her day and she says nothing.

**when the boychik was 9, his cat died, and he read that the egyptians shaved their eyebrows as a sign of mourning, so D let him shave his off.  it's one of the sweetest stories i have ever heard.

goings on

the cat caught some sort of cold, her first. we all kind of thought something was up for a day or so, then one night i gave her some soft food (her favorite, tuna and whitefish!) and she licked it dutifully once or twice then came back over to me for a cuddle.  no cat refuses fishy goodness, so i knew then she was sickly.  it only lasted one day, but that day we all spoiled her rotten.  got her chair set up with a heating pad, gave lots of pets, cooed over her and carried her around.  the next day she was back to normal, talking up a storm and playing with hair bands and straws all over the house. 

we were all relieved she was okay.  the kids like to give me shit about being a crazy cat lady, but i know they love her as much as i do.  in all honesty, this cat is beyond spoiled. she is adored and coddled and treasured.  we all nap with her, feed her treats, play games with her, talk to her while making breakfast and if she's sitting in our laps when we have to pee, we wait as long as we can. 

things we call the cat

by no means an exhaustive list:

• LuLu
• lulu-bean
• lu-bot
• lulu kitten
• kitten face
• baby cat
• we like to sing this in the style of crazy train, "lulu, lulu, lulu, lulu, ai-ai-aieeee."
• kitten pants
• lu-pants
• oh my lulu, oh my lulu, oh my luuu-lu, lulu pants.

sunday night awesome

have you seen party down?  i just discovered it on netflix, and am IN LOVE.  i used to work as a caterer for my mother's small company back in college, and while our crew was a lot smaller, it does make me a little nostalgic for the old job.  oh, and it's funny as all shit.  i just got to the jennifer coolidge episodes, and the one where she is on shrooms and joking about her green merkin being too small made me full on guffaw out loud.  MERKIN.  always funny.  i also watched a patton oswalt special the other day that made me laugh so hard the kids came down to check in on me.  i think they think i'm mildly retarded. ha!

we also made ice cream yesterday with one of our THREE ice cream makers. my mom bought D one for xmas, which he has used once.  we got two for our wedding, when we had zero on our registry.  one of them makes a lot of ice cream and uses ice, the other one is an awesome cuisinart stand-alone.  normally i could give two shits about ice cream, but we bought ingredients the other day because it was hot and i thought the girlchild and her friends would dig making it.  we used pineapple, toasted coconut and mini chocolate chips.  it was epic!  so tonight we made coffee ice cream.  also amazing.  we ate it right out of the maker before freezing some for tomorrow.  i went from not really caring about ice cream, to being totally sold on making it at home and glad we have so many options for making it.  

the neighbors are all doing fireworks, so the cat is hiding out in our room under the dresser.  she doesn't seem too irritated, she keeps rolling over for belly pets and meowing for attention.  she just isn't coming out from under there any time soon.

hi rocky!

we are babysitting D's brother's african grey parrot, rocky*, for a little over a week. she's a sweet bird, albeit a bit neurotic, but she's settled into her new routine pretty well.

i noticed yesterday morning that she's totally picked up my ridiculous bird voice. every morning (and afternoon and evening and whenever) i chirp, "hello, rocky!" like a higher-pitched ethel merman, and now the bird sounds like ethel as well at times. our new favorite game is, "who is rocky being?" sometimes we can hear D's brother, lower pitched and gruff, his sister-in-law with her sweet, tiny voice; sometimes she's the phone, "beep, beep, beep..." and when i hear my voice coming out of her beak, it just tickles me to no end. she says "thank you" at appropriate times, and "oh boy" when you come to her with a bit of banana, and every now and then we'll all be laughing at something on the tv and she'll join in. i wonder how much she knows what she's saying, and am amazed at how much like us she sounds.

i have to say, though, lulu is not impressed. she's okay with rocky most of the time, but once she starts talking, lulu is out of there. i think the bird making people sounds is just too much for her kitten brain.

*rocky was named because they thought she was a boy. then she laid an egg.

points

• ordered some more new scrubs from UA. ahh, this week has been so comfy and awesome. guess what i discovered? i'm totally a solid scrub girl; no prints for me. i'm not sure why, but i am totally in love with the monochromatic look under a lab coat. i feel impossibly adult.
• the boosh is loose in my house! folks, did you know the wait for the mighty boosh on a dvd that plays in the states is OVER?! i found out today, and am not sure how i missed it for this long. season one is in the house and we are all pleased.
  
• my poor cat is totally flea-ridden and miserable. i just used some of that spot treatment on her last week, so it's too soon to re-dose her. i bought some spray that was supposed to help, but she hates it. it's entirely too hot to try to put the crack down, as well, because this is just primo flea weather. it's hard enough combatting the urge to melt into a puddle; fighting tiny, crafty, biting bugs? i am simply not up for it. this makes me a bad cat mom.
  
• the boychik comes home in a few days! we all kind of miss the little jerk. (i kid! he's really tall. you know, five foot nine and a half.)
• i discovered that these claw clips don't get pulled out by the magnet. guess who stopped brushing her hair? bonus points: named after my favorite cephalopod.
• it's hot in my house. it's hot in your house. it's hot everywhere. people are crabby and going nuts and it's gotten so bad the heat has zapped my will to drink beer.
  

yes!

this is the red hair i wanted! thank you, manic panic pillarbox red. i know using manic panic means a lot less showers, and more baths, but i don't care. this red is totally worth it. i feel awesome.

in other news, i think we might have an unwed teen mother in our home. that's right, i think little LuLu went and got herself knocked-up. she's super rotund in the middle, super cuddly and if i'm right, she might have actually been preggers when we took her in. we'll have to wait and see. although i thought of an awesome idea today; kitty litter that changes color when your cat gets knocked up. like it turns pink and clumpy, letting you know that you either need to see a vet immediately, or buy a box and some towels and ready yourself for childbirth and lamaze classes.

gross!

yesterday i cleaned out the cat box and bagged up the little litter-coated treats, then put them in my car to take to work with me. i figure if i dump them in the trash there, yay! my trash doesn't stink. plus, i get the smug satisfaction of dropping off my cat's shit at my shitty work.

ahem. except i forgot to take the bag with me when i got there. i got into my car last night and was horrified by the smell, totally confused for a second, until i realized what it was and ran it to the nearest trash can. i opened up all the windows and the guy i was giving a ride home to laughed seriously hard at me. i thought he was going to spew mountain dew out of his nose.

it was funny, but totally disgusting.

daylight savings!

i love falling back. yes, i know this means darker sooner, but today, when i get that extra hour to lie in my bed, i'm pretty pleased with myself and the way the world works. i'm sure that feeling will pass once i get to work, but i'm enjoying it for now.

things the cat has learned to do:

• open cupboards. the task itself isn't that hard, you really don't need opposable thumbs for it, but the other night she not only got into the cabinet under the sink, but she chewed a great big hole in her food bag and had a party. bad kitty. i have to hide the food way high up now, and next payday i need to get a big tupperware thing to hold her food.
• flush the toilet. weird, right? for some reason whenever i have to pee, she comes in with me, sits on the tub next to me while i do my thing (which is very strange, but i'm not sure she gets why, so i let her sit there as long as she doesn't bug me), and then when i get up and shut the lid, she starts pushing the handle like she's going to flush. she has yet to push it down all the way, but she is close and once she figures out how hard she needs to push i might be in trouble. i imagine this will be one of those things that at 4 in the morning she'll be flushing away and waking my dumb ass up.
  

hmmm....what else is new. i'm pretty nervous most of the time lately. that's not exactly "news" but the fact that i'm willing to admit it is new. i'm fairly sure it's just a combination of weather changing, constant calls from bill collectors, and an overwhelming feeling of not being in control, but i'm trying hard to not just increase my meds and float through. it's hard to do, though. on my days off i'm fine, it's my working days that are suffering. what it boils down to is i can't afford to be that nervous-wreck at work, i can't afford to take a day off and lie in bed making lists and worrying a hole in the ground. i can't afford to not go in when they call me on my days off. in fact, i really should get another job or at least a second job. i feel this tension between my shoulder blades all the time, and i have days when i feel like crawling out of my skin. it's not so much fun. i don't think i'm very pleasant to hang out with or talk to, and i'm sure as hell boring myself with all the thinking and worry and sour stomach. logically i know that things are okay; maybe not great or fantastic, but that i'm not that much worse off than anybody else and that i have a place to live and a job and a car and things are going to work themselves out. it's just hard to convince my mis-firing brain that this is true. dear seratonin, why you got to be such a bitch?

things i have learned about lulu

• she is very playful, but gentle. i like to rough house with her a little tiny bit, and she bites very gently and purrs very loudly.
• she's starting to respond to the name lulu.
• she will indeed come running when i shake the kitten treat box.
• she knew exactly what that bag of food was, and meowed until i opened it and fed her.
  
• then she took a giant poop in the bathtub; proving that she's smarter than the average cat. i put the litter box in there after that, so she'll use it. other than that, i'm not exactly sure how one goes about encouraging litter box use! if you have tips, please leave them.
• she likes catnip.
• she's a fan of yarn and yarn balls and things being knit.
• she talks back when you ask her a question.
• she seems to like everyone in the house, but she follows me around.
• if she's not in my lap, she's under my seat.
  
• she really, really digs a good head scratch.

i have really missed having a cat around. there's something very rewarding about having a cat like you, because you know damn good and well they could do just as well without you. when i found her this afternoon, she was sitting out by the house i saw her near last, and when i walked out there and asked her what she was doing, she just meowed at me. that made me laugh, and i kept saying, "come over here!" and she kept meowing, until i crouched down and then she came running. we had a good pet, then i started walking toward the house and she just followed me in. it's hokey, finding a stray and thinking, "OMG! kitten!" but damn. i'm a hokey girl, evidently.

dammit!

kitten-sized hole in fence. kitten gone. will kitten come back? cross your fingers.

they called it kitten love

meet lulu!

a few weeks ago at work we all noticed a cat that we thought had been dumped at the store, which is a fairly common occurrence. people think they'll get picked up by someone else easier or something, or you know, get squashed by a car. she was small-ish (maybe a teenager?), fairly well fed, friendly and sweet. for a while no one thought much of her; there was always the chance that she had wandered away from home, and would wander on back. of course she had no tags or anything, and various co-workers would feed her in the morning and leave out little cups of water. she's been getting thinner, of course, and the weather is turning cold, and we've all been talking about who should take her home.

last night, after one of the worst days i've had in a long time, she came running out to meet me. i sat down and we talked (she is the meow-iest cat i've met since aria!), and she was cuddly and at one point she curled up in my lap, tucked her head into my sweatshirt and purred like no tomorrow. what could i do? i decided at the very least i would take her home, and this morning take her to the local no-kill shelter where she could be taken care of before some other lucky sap found her and took her home. i estimate that process would take fifteen minutes. but she walked into the house, took right to my roommate, curled up on the couch and dar said to me, "um, i think we have a cat."

damn straight! i'm totally smitten. she slept with me on the couch for a long time last night (i crashed early) and then woke up with me to come to bed, where she crawled under the covers with me, just her sweet little head poking out. she didn't pee anywhere, or freak out and eat shit while i was sleeping, and this morning when i said, "good morning lulu!" she turned to me and stretched out her little paws for a pet. at this very moment she is asleep on my bed, full of tuna for breakfast. she's been outside to do her business, she's checked the house out, she's headbutted and kissed me countless times, and for the first time in a long time i feel pretty pleased with myself. lulu! whoo!