creepy crawlies

the boychik and i rented some scary movies tonight, because that's what we do when we have the house to ourselves, and we both agreed that paranormal activity looked interesting.  you know, we wanted to see what all the fuss was about. 

we watched almost the entire movie with blankets up near our noses so we could hide if we needed to.  it was creepy in it's everyday-ness, kind of like the blair witch project, but you know, IN YOUR HOUSE.  *shiver*  we tried to put something else in afterward, and the dvd player made a very wrong noise, and we had to shut that shit off, and then we giggled nervously in the living room at our ridiculousness. 

he'll kill me for telling you this, but i can't help it!  we are feeling creeped out.  scary movie night just bit us in the ass! 

it's kind of a funny story

is a movie with my favorite bearded man (this week), zach galifianakis. i watched it tonight, and found it kind of sweet, and enjoyable. nothing groundbreaking about it, but it was nice. they used this version of the pixies "where is my mind?", though, and just listen. it's so lovely!

also, while poking around the youtubes, i found this version by placebo. it's excellent!

ahem

this sums up how i feel about the oscars the best.  not only did i not watch, but i didn't even feel like checking out the pretty dresses and shit on the internet today.  i'm either becoming a) a crotchety old lady or b) maybe more grown up, but in a less crotchety way.  whatever.   

oh, the angst of youth

i poke fun at the boychik's angst, shudder at the thought of the girlchild going through puberty and subjecting me to the horrors i previously visited upon my own (sainted) mother, but tonight i watched a show on independent lens about william s. burroughs and remembered that as far as angst and ennui go, none of us has a thing on old bill.

the beats were a huge part of my adolescence.  i don't even say that in an ironic way; i was terribly earnest and passionate about my love of the beats.  i read everything i could get my hands on, delighting in lawrence ferlinghetti, devouring ginsberg, prickling at burroughs.  as a young, mostly white girl living on an island, relating to a queer junkie was a stretch for my tiny brain, but the discomfort he provided was sublime.  his words were scratchy and amazing and it was the first time i ever realized that pain and horror and unhappiness could create beauty.  he was truly disenfranchised in a way i couldn't begin to understand, and it was burroughs along with the other beats that really confirmed my love of writing and reading.  it suddenly wasn't just an escape from my own awkwardness, i realized it could be a transformation.  it's almost embarrassing for me to admit this to you, but i know we all have those writers, those artists, who wake something up in us, makes us both more than what we are and also solidly, truly, ourselves.  transcendental acceptance of our own failings.  or something.

i don't think D really liked watching the movie, but i think the boychik got a little something out of it.  if anything, we got to see peter weller in some ridiculous eyeglasses, smoking a cigar and being infinitely smarter than his robocop background might lead to you believe.  also, patti fucking smith.  awesome!  if you get a chance to see this movie, i recommend it.  my favorite transgender, pangender, transhuman, genesis breyer-p.orridge also makes an appearance and that is always something to see.

did i mention i have the weekend off?

because although i know i did, i don't think i told you why that was at all important and/or interesting.  the thing is, since earlier this summer i've been working with a co-worker's daughter two mornings a weekend.  not such a huge deal, as i have three day weekends i always had a day to myself.  however, it's been about six months, and i'm now trying to honestly get married, and i was spending upward of six hours a weekend being responsible and having a standard appointment set up.  it meant needing to make arrangements when i wanted to go somewhere overnight or have a weekend "off," and it cut my weekend days into weird little chunks.  i'm not complaining; what i was doing was awesome and i felt like i was helping out a family i truly like.  at the same time, i'd forgotten what three whole days full of fuck-all were like, and you know what?  three whole days to myself, to do what i want, when i want to do it, are pretty fucking awesome.  yesterday i spent the whole day with the girlchild, shopping and goofing and going to a fall festival at her school.  we bought expensive lip balms and ate out for dinner.  we rented penelope (which was charming) and stayed up late waiting for her father to come home.  this morning i slept in and am now having a cup of coffee with both half & half and sugar in it.  i'm not trying to convince you i'm a badass when i say i usually take my coffee black, it's just i grew up drinking it that way and am lazy in the morning.  i just need it in my cup, and hot, and that's enough.  however, cream and sugar are delightful, and i think i'm going to spend all day drinking coffee and wandering around the house working on crafty shit.  there is a good chance my pj's will be on all day, and that makes me impossibly happy.

what's your favorite thing to do when you have a weekend day with nothing on the agenda?  do you get stuff done or just laze about?  is there something special, like coffee with cream, you save for those days?      

movie talk

i just watched get him to the greek, the unrated version, with the girlchild.  i kept saying, "may! this is inappropriate!  INAPPROPRIATE.  please disregard the last scene."  as though she's a jury i can bully. ha! 

the boychik and i are getting ready to watch splice.  after that, i'll apologize for parenting while drinking wine, and fall asleep.  we all win.  or something.

more talk of centipedes

it's awful, but i am the type of kid to tell my mother about something as gross as the human centipede.  while at her house on saturday, i told both her and my aunt about it, and while my aunt was aghast (because, duh) my mom went from being shocked to being seriously curious.  she wanted to know where she could rent it, and if i didn't know any better, i'd say there's a good chance that at some point my mother will view that movie all on her own. 

in other news, my mother is awesome.

my sinuses, however, not so awesome.  i actually took the day off work today to blow copious amounts of mucus out of my face and lay around moaning about how much my head hurts.  thanks to a handful of sudafed, my head feels better, albeit floating three feet above my neck.  i'm trying to make the house tidy (ha!), and getting ready for a walk over to the post office.  i sold some stuff on amazon this week to appease D, and to make some room.  for four people, there sure is a lot of stuff in this house, and most of it is mine.  no, that's not quite it.  about half of it is mine, and that's still too much! 

i missed the premiere of the walking dead this weekend, i'm not sure how that happened, so i'm going to try to hunt it down in re-runs or on the computer this week too.  the boychik and i need to see it.  i'm also going to play around with save-the-date ideas and using a printer with my mac.  i have an idea for a linocut too i want to mess around with.  days off are great for this sort of thing, even if it does come with snot and a headache.  

the human centipede

yes, i watched it.  i had to, i live with a 16 year old boy who practically squealed with delight when he saw it was at the redbox.  i told him we had to be quiet about it, and never tell anyone we watched it, but here i am already breaking that rule.  for one thing, it was quite possibly a million times better than i expected, and i wasn't even drunk.  the bad guy was so deliciously creepy and evil with just a hint of camp, and it had all the "oh my god don't go in there!" moments i love in a horror film.  for a movie about people being sewn together ass-to-mouth, it was well done.  nicely shot, nicely cast, creepy and subversive and ridiculous.  i suppose i expected so little that i might just be surprised that it wasn't the worst thing ever, but honestly? if you dig on gross horror films, you'll like it.  watch it for the creepy guy, and you won't regret it.  he reminds me of a euro-version of christopher walken.  that, my friends, is high praise.   

spooky

tonight the girlchild is off at a sleepover, where they will be watching scary movies and probably not sleeping all night long.  D is working, so the boychik and i rented a few creepy movies ourselves, ordered a pizza, and bought cheetos.  i might also be imbibing an adult beverage or two, because you know, i'm a grown up and i love watching vampires and spooks while tipsy.

tomorrow is my 33rd birthday, and i have high hopes for this year.  it sounds corny, but i like really like the sound of thirty-three.  it's such a nice number, that i'm sure it's also going to be a nice year.  tomorrow D and i go see some of my aunties and my mom on the island, then we'll spend the rest of the day goofing off.  i also have a trunk full of pumpkins that need to be carved, and the button machine is finally working okay.  there are still some kinks to be worked out, and some research i need to do, but for the most part, it's up and running. 

oh, the buttons i have planned for you.  go watch something creepy with your loved ones, i'll talk to you soon!

hello, october!

my favorite month is upon us!  the weather is getting cooler and the days a bit shorter, and halloween and my birthday are coming.  this year my birthday falls on a saturday, which is nice.  it means i don't have to take the day off work.  :-)

there's battle of the bands going on in my house at the moment; D is in our room, listening to led zeppelin, and the girlchild is in her room, listening to some top 40 radio.  katy perry and robert plant, oh my.  i'm sandwiched in the middle, in the computer room, kind of hating my life.  both are cleaning, and both are in less-than-stellar mood.  whoo!

i have one last week to kind of get ready for this half-marathon.  i know i'm not going to pass out or die during the race, thanks to my internal laziness (i wouldn't really know how to push myself too hard, physically), and also thanks to there being medical professionals and water stations at this thing.  i'm not going to do great, though.  at this point, however, survival totally trumps excellence.  you'll get to hear all about how sore i am next week, i promise.  i bet you can't wait!

another great thing about october? all the horror movies on tv.  i've been going out of my way to rent kid-friendly movies for the girlchild as often as i can, because what's fun for the boychik and i is fun for no one else.  we get away with it when D's at work and she goes to bed, but i don't want her feeling left out of the fun.  i'm also using this time to pass on valuable parental advice.  like, in all horror films, the girls going wild in the movies always die first.  i told her that having fun at parties when she gets older is one thing, but if she takes it too far, the psycho in the woods with a hook for a hand is going to come for her first, so she better be careful.  i got an eyeroll for that, but also a giggle.  i know when i was her age, i hated scary movies, so i'm keeping that in mind when i go rent something.  for every copy of slash and bleed that comes into the house, some ridiculous comedy comes in as well.  it's only fair!

that was so funny!

i have become pretty much the biggest fan of redbox movies lately.  for one thing, you can rent them online, and then go pick them up and get beer and chips at the same time.  they are only a dollar a day.  no one judges my terrible taste in movies except my little family, who has come to realize i will only rent the seriously retarded or gory.  you can take them back anywhere, so if i rent them at fred's, i can take them back to 7-11 and get a slushie to treat myself.  it really is love.  the other day D even asked if we should shut off the cable because we're watching a lot of movies lately.  i told him the movie thing might just be an infatuation, so we should wait.  plus, i still love watching movies on IFC, sundance and TCM.  you never know what they'll show. 


this weekend i made sure i rented something the girlchild could watch with us without hiding her hands.  date night was surprisingly funny and smart, and i have to admit, i really do like steve carrell and tina fey.  i'm pretty sure i'd watch them do just about anything.  it wasn't high art, but it was totally enjoyable.  legion was the same; enjoyable, fun to watch, kind of badass, but i think the "good guy" might have a brain injury.  all the actors were pretty okay (some hammier than others) but jeep?  mildly retarded.

i'm supposed to go to the dentist on monday to have some old fillings pulled and some new ones put in, but i think i might cancel.  i went in last week for a cleaning and my mouth was sore for a few days.  holding it open while they wrench things out is pretty much my least favorite thing ever.  i like how my mouth feels sparkly at the end, but i forget how much the dentist really does freak me out.  as a child i had some asshole dentist who used to say "open alligator wide" before shoving both his meaty hands in as far as they could go.  i always left there bruised and squirrelly.  thinking about it makes me shudder.  this is why my dental visits are so few and far between, and why i never argue with flossing because it keeps me out of the chair.  i'll get those fillings taken care of, but maybe in another week, when i've forgotten how much i hate going.

i've slept like shit all week, not a wink over 6 hours, and usually less, so i really should be in bed now.  remind me to tell you about the book i'm reading, and the boychik's messed up molars.  that story is actually kind of fun.  in a dental way.   

booo!

i've done nothing so far this weekend but rent scary movies and freak myself out a little.  good times.  i have the house to myself for a bit, so i'm going to go watch a zombie movie and get cozy on the couch with a beer.  D came home last night and found the boychik and i watching daybreakers (which, incidentally, was much better than i expected.  it was like a cross between all the things i love in zombie and vampire movies!), and rolled his eyes at me, but i pointed out that he's damn lucky to have a girlfriend who likes the occasion horror film, rather than one who drags his ass to every julia roberts movie ever made. 

although to be honest, D really loves the romantic comedies.  he wears the mustache in this relationship, but i wield the chainshaw.

want to come over?

because i have a house full of teenagers, mad max on the tv, and lots of "that's what she said" jokes.

if you are a grown-up, i also have rum and cokes.  

why i love cable tv

because you find amazing things like the american astronaut on the sundance channel. we were lucky enough to catch it from almost the very beginning. it's absurd and ridiculous and beautiful to look at and full of music, and i'm sure if i thought about it long enough and used enough words i could explain to you why i found it so delightful. instead i'll show you a small clip from the youtube and you can do some exploration on your own. i will say this, the girlchild didn't love it, D kept saying he didn't like it but coming back into the room to find out what was going on, and the boychik and i were entranced.

oh sure, let's make the dead into puppets

tonight we were flipping through channels and trying to find something to watch. i recently discovered we get TCM, and there's pretty much nothing i like more than finding old horror movies to watch. tonight i discovered quite possibly the most ridiculous, disturbing, weird horror film ever. for one thing, the main character is a MIME. he might even be called the world's most famous mime, marcel marceau. for another, it's called shanks. um, hello, but shanks are for stabbing. in this case, it referred to the last name of the main character (aah! a mime!). i can't even begin to describe how strange this movie was, and how thoroughly captivated we all were. i'll let you in on some of the details; mr. shanks is a deaf/mute puppeteer who lives entertains kids and is creepily fond of one young girl. he lives with family members who are mean to him. he uses his puppetry skills on the dead. a gang of homosexual bikers crash a seriously pedophilic birthday party. marcel marceau does a lot of strange, uncomfortable looking things to his body. happy carnival music plays during disturbing scenes. a dead chicken pecks a man to death. THERE IS A MIME PRETENDING NOT TO BE A MIME. it was terrible and wonderful and we couldn't look away. the boychik has decided that this is his favorite movie ever. the girlchild laughed at the most absurd bits, but seemed confused and sleepy. she also got sick this afternoon so she might still be under the weather. D made a snack and laughed his ass off. we all goaded and chided the movie, giggled and talked about how lucky we were to stumble upon such an awful film.

it's not on dvd or video, evidently. so if you see it on TCM, i highly recommend watching it. it's 93 minutes of...an experience.

is it just me or does the film "the blindside" look kinda, sorta, maybe a little ridiculous? affluent, white family adopts big black kid, turns him into an awesome football player, they become a "family" and learn "valuable lessons" about each other, and we're all supposed to be heart-warmed? makes me feel funny. also, i used to totally dig sandra bullock, but she married a douchebag and has made more treacle than movies lately.

this all just makes me miss marissa tomei.

ding dong

the witch is dead! i got my last batch of belongings out of my bitch-ass roommate's house and i feel fan-fucking-tastic. i did not want to do it today, no--i lay in bed all morning telling D i was tired and didn't want to go, but once i put my bike on the back of my car, left my key, and drove on out of there i felt like a brand-new woman. a relieved one! if i never talk to her again, it might be too soon. my roommate's house was a good fit for me at first, but once i moved out of the bad place i was (mopey and freaked out by the end of my relationship with the fisherman) it was like a too-tight pair of pants. serviceable, but not comfortable.

we've been working on integrating my stuff into the family's, and so far it's going well. D has been seriously conscious of giving me enough space and making sure i feel welcome. it's true we've been de-facto shacking up for a while now, but moving in for real feels different. i'm looking forward to getting the rest of my stuff out of storage and finishing my nomad days once and for all.

this weekend the kids and i went to the drive-in again. we saw land of the lost and the newest terminator movie. land of the lost was absurdly retarded; kind of like watching a surrealist painting with sex jokes, but don't let that make you think we didn't enjoy it. we did. i will say this, however, not a kid's movie. i fell asleep and missed the beginning of the terminator movie, but what i saw was totally enjoyable. the boychik loved it, so i have a feeling we'll be renting it so he can watch it with his pop too. on the way into town we stopped at Saars Marketplace in Oak Harbor to pick up groceries. specifically: ramen. we love the spicy ramen, as well as the other awesome asian flavors, and there really isn't anyplace in the skagit valley that has a good selection.* we loaded up on noodles, kimchi, mochi, hello pandas and ramune sodas (the kid's first). speaking of kimchi; D has been convinced he doesn't like it for a long time now. whenever i mention a craving for it, he balks. this morning we got up late and had ramen for brunch and i opened up the kimchi to add a little to mine. he tried a bite, and that's all it took. we spent all morning looking up kimchi recipes, eating it, and making plans to make our own batch this weekend. the little jar i bought is over 3/4 of the way gone, and we've spent most of this afternoon trying to convince the kids that it's amazing and they need to try it. dear kimchi, i love you. thanks for being so crunchy and spicy and awesome!

*unless there is and i don't know about it! if you know something i don't, please feel free to let me know.

beat it!

this is rocky, D's brother's african grey parrot. the week before we started sitting her, D started getting us all ready to have her around. to be honest, the kids and i were not amused or impressed, and i made more than one "it's all fun and games until she gouges my eyes out" jokes. the first night she was here was kind of tense; we were all a little wary of her, and D's brother gave us a lengthy list of things she did and didn't like, and instances when she was likely to bite. the next night, though, we were making dinner and she was around the corner and somehow we ended up whistling at her and she was whistling back...and the next thing you knew, we realized she's actually a pretty awesome bird. sure, she doesn't like to be held, but besides that, she's totally into us and fun to interact with. watching her pick up new words and phrases, getting her to dance with us, feeding her slivers of banana and hearing her chirp "oh boy!" has been amazing. she's incredibly curious and smart, and now that she feels more and more comfortable with us she's become a real joy to have around. the kids and i have looked up all sort of articles about her type of bird, and have learned that they have a reputation for being smart and attentive. we think she's pretty cool, and having her around this week has been super fun. we're sad she leaves in a few days!

i also had a chance to play ridiculous amount of rock band this weekend with the kids. what started as a short trip to my house to pick up some stuff became hours of rocking out with only one break for pizza ordering. i knew rock band was fun, but had no idea it could kill so many hours in an afternoon. not that i'm complaining! i discovered i suck at the drums, am passable on guitar, but really like the singing part best. especially since wave of mutilation is one of the songs. dear pixies, how i love you. the best thing about D's kids is that they're fairly open to new stuff; we listen to all sorts of music and they don't automatically poo-poo the music i love because i'm "old" and not cool. they'll give it a chance, although they haven't yet decided they love the pixies as much as i do. the girlchild loves lady gaga the way i do (whoo! this makes for awesome kitchen dance parties!), and the boychild and i have bonded over led zepplin and he's shown an interest in tom waits. i know i've said it before, but i really dig these kids. if they weren't D's, i would still like them. they're funny and smart and interesting, and when we hang out on saturday afternoons it's not because i'm trying to score points with their pop or because they need to be baby-sat; it's because we do fun shit like play rock band all afternoon or go out and play pinball at the local old-school arcade, or hang around the house drinking coffee and watching movies. we have fun together, and getting to hang without their pop gives them a chance to relax and be themselves and decide if they like me or not. so far, so good.

because we had such a fun and relaxed and sleepy weekend, though, i have a ton of shit that needs to be done today! oil change, shopping, making time for coffee with a friend, all these things need to happen. D's getting ready for finals, which means he's cooking up a storm and finishing some reading for class, so i'm going to try to give him lots of quiet space and time to get it done. i got the kids to help me clean up the house yesterday so he'd have one less thing to think about (i bribed them with beowulf *and drillbit taylor), and in a few days he'll be on spring break and i'll be lamenting the fact that i have to go to work and gets to stay in bed all day.

*i did not want to see this, but the boychild is totally into norse and greek mythology. i have to say, the animation was weird and creepy, there were some awesome fun parts like the sea monster sequence, but it felt exactly as cheesy as clash of the titans to me. the boys loved it.

ugh

i had to work a 12 hour shift, which was, of course, LONG. we got another new girl who is a flake, and as usual i'm pretty much the only person who will stay late. the overtime is awesome, i love that part of my job, but i am super tired now. i'm having a beer and am headed to bed. good times!

i accidentally stumbled upon fur the other night while at my folks house; i don't much care for nicole kidman (i don't hate her, i just don't go out of my way to see her films) but i have to say, i liked it. i didn't know anything about it, and while i like diane arbus well enough, i'm not so obsessed with her that it upset me to see a fictional movie about her. i expected very little from it, i guess, and was pleasantly surprised. i had no idea robert downey jr. was in it, and at the end when i realized it was him i felt very, "really?!" i don't know, maybe it's because i love circus freaks, but i enjoyed the movie more than it seems a lot of other people did. i would watch it again. is that weird? did you see it? i don't actually know anyone else who's seen it. thoughts?

okay, i'm off to bed. i've been reading the yiddish policeman's union the past few days. lunch time and bed time (and spare hours on the couch) are now my favorite times of day; this book is impossibly well written. normally i'm a super fast reader, i just tear through books, but this one i find myself reading sentences slowly and repeatedly, everything is so well-crafted. i love michael chabon, have for a long time, but this book totally pushes him into my top five favorite author list. yiddish noir: not a phrase i ever thought i would use, or relish so much. it's a gorgeous book, i can't believe it took me this long to read. i am really glad i bought it instead of borrowing it from the library.

3 movies

here is a list of a few movies i love that no one else seems to like, which all happen to star jason schwartzman. i'm not sure how that happened, exactly, but here they are in no particular order.

• shopgirl. this movie is icy and delicious and yet somehow is sweet at the center. he's a hapless doof in it, a perfect dark, hairy foil to steven martin. i just picked this up at the library today, and now that i have the place to myself i'm watching it. i love mirabelle's apartment in it, and it makes me miss my bobbed hair. once my bangs grow out, i will have that haircut again.
  
• i heart huckabees. i feel like a lot of people find this movie pretentious, and i suppose in a way it is, but i loved it anyhow. i remember the first time i rented it i watched it twice before returning it, and bought it a few days later. there are a list of films i can watch over and over again, sometimes paying attention, sometimes as background noise and this is one of them. i like albert markovski, i like his poems and the way isabelle huppert says "al-bear."
  
• the darljeeling limited. i have heard a lot of wes anderson fans dislike this film, but i liked it. i feel bad comparing various films directors/writers have done to each other because that seems unfair. yes, it wasn't the royal tenenbaums (which for me is my favorite wes anderson film), but it was also a different movie. it was during darjeeling that i realized that jason schwartzman looks like an ugly version of tom cruise. which is being unfair to jason, he's perfectly foxy on his own, but he's like an exaggerated version of tom. both are short, both have the long, darks bangs, both have prominent noses and eyes that crinkle up when they smile. i'll take jason over tom any day, though.
  

someone else out there must like at least one of these movies, right? is it you?