four years

i meant to write this post yesterday, because four years ago yesterday, i had what would end up being the best, and last, date of my life.

i know, i know, i'm ridiculous, but seriously, the date i had with D four years ago was awesome.  he made chili verde, we drank wine, we both wore stripey shirts, and we made out in the kitchen.  don't try to argue with the math with that.  wine + porky goodness + kissing in the kitchen = grow up and get married. true story.

today, four years ago, i met my kids.  they sat on one couch while D and i sat on another, and they played their DS's and gave us sidelong glances, and there was a lot of giggling and happy times. i had literally thought for all of five minutes about being step-parent before that, and while i was not sure i could do it, i knew that day how much i liked them, and that if i already felt that way, then we'd probably be okay.

meeting them right before the holidays was a good thing. i remember that first christmas, after i'd met them, and mom making fun of me because my chin was all pink from making out (!), and making furtive calls outside to tell him how much i missed him, and how much fun we had on new year's eve.  to me, my beginning of my family will always be tied up in happy holiday memories, with us goofing in the kitchen and buying each other presents and having that doofy, newly in love feeling.  shy and happy and spending a lot of time together.  i never forget how lucky i am, how happy i am, how at home i feel with these three amazing people who made me part of their family.  

ouch!

i just burnt my hand on a pan of cookies.  it was worth it, they are delicious cookies, and all i want to do on my four days off of work is bake and drink beers and listen to xmas music.  for real.  i'm living the dream!

currently in the oven are my chocolate cookies with cinnamon, white chips and dried cherries.  awaiting oven time, gingerbread cupcakes.  they smell so good already, unbaked, that i can hardly wait to put them in the damn oven. 

is it weird

that i am super duper extra excited that my nephew got an email address?  he sent me a note today with a million emoticons and i almost died it was so cute.  of course, i wrote him right back. 

then i made another mushroom ornament, only with this years felting technique. 

when i'm old and die and the kids go through my ornaments (and other stuff) will they be like, "jesus, amanda, what's with all the tentacles, skulls and shrooms? why was our xmas tree always so weird?"  wherever i go after this, i'm pretty sure i'll chuckle at that.  i hope they argue over who gets the gloomy bear. 

big booty squirrel

this squirrel is both the color and shape of nicki minaj, therefore, it is the Minaj Squirrel.  because it is made of felted wool, it's already 500% smarter than the original nicki minaj, making it the perfect ornament for our xmas tree. 

tried needle felting with my friend anne this weekend.  i had this idea that it was going to be the easiest thing on earth, and then when it took EFFORT to do it right, i got fussy.  i forget to act my age sometimes.  anne was very patient with me, and i worked on it until it looked right, and then i felt like a genius.  it's not even like it's a very hard thing to do, but it does take practice and patience and sometimes that's hard for me.  now that i can make thing that don't look totally ridiculous, though, i love it.  hooray for another craft!

martha stewart conspired to make my weekend with anne a disaster, but she failed.  yes, the candy we made following her terrible instructions turned out too hard, but it was still delicious and we still got to use a candy thermometer.  yes, her felt ornaments needed a lot of stuff we actually couldn't find, but we improvised and our ornaments are cuter.  plus, friendship always grows when you spend time together complaining about martha stewart screwing you.

broke out a whole lot of xmas CDs tonight, much to the girlchild's delight.  she said, "oh, you have so many xmas CDs," and i told her i have like a drop in the bucket compared to my mom.  she seemed even more pleased by that.  what are you doing to get ready for the holiday?

things we got for xmas

• three cookbooks, one all about making your own cheese.
• an ice cream maker.
• a deep fryer.

who wants to roll me down the aisle?  

how do atheists spent xmas?

pretty much like everyone else.  i do, anyway.  truth be told, i LOVE christmas music.  my favorite thing to do this time of year is to find one of those "all xmas music, all the time" radio channels and sing along until my lungs bleed.  i know it's weird, but i spent a lot of time believing in god and liking the christmas story, and even though i don't have faith now, doesn't mean i don't appreciate all the awesome holiday accouterments. 

i read this lovely comic by box brown today, and there were parts of it that reminded me of my life.  i also loved anne rice books, read some stuff by sylvia browne in college, and did keg stands.  go check it out!

our christmas tree might go up today!  i'll also be making some holiday cards (hopefully) and turning some of the five million mushrooms i knit this weekend into ornaments.  i have this suspicion i should eschew all this for festivus or something, but what can i say? i'm sucker for a jolly man wearing red who likes to eat cookies. 

merry xmas kids!

we had a great day! my mom got me an awesome video camera, dave and the kids got me a new camera (!!!) and we had a fantastic day of lounging, eating, being with friends and family, with a tiny nap tucked into the middle.

all of the gifts i got were amazing, but one was so special it made me cry like a baby. to be honest, i opened it last night because i was pretty sure that would be my reaction. amidst all the packages mom sent home with us, one had a tag on it to me from dad. it was an old school navy family gram; a video that wives and families were sent when their husbands/boyfriends/sons went on cruise (this was before women were allowed on the boat!), transferred from the original vhs to dvd. it from 1986, and was different from most because that was one year the guys were on cruise through christmas, so it had a christmas theme and was a little more sappy than most. the guys all had a chance to send a little message to their people, there was a little song they made up (it was the 12 days of xmas, but altered to include the boat and their life on it), and tours of where they worked, what they were doing, etc. we didn't have a video camera growing up, and my dad was notoriously camera shy when one showed up, so to see him talking to us, young and handsome and the way i remember him, just killed me. it's an understatement to say i was so glad to just hear his voice, but then he made an inside joke just for mom and that was when i lost it. in a good way, i mean, if that's at all possible. it was amazing to see him, to hear him, to show dave and the kids the dad i remember.

so i guess you could say this holiday season has been more than a little bittersweet, but as much as i miss my dad (and honestly, i miss him a lot), when i looked around today and saw all the people that i have that i love, all the happy faces and thoughtful gifts, the delicious food and mess to be cleaned up tomorrow, it was more sweet than bitter. i hope you had a great day, got to hug your loved ones or talk to them, and go to bed tonight full of tasty treats. merry christmas!

oh the weather outside is frightful

except, it's not really that bad. we got a bit of snow, it stopped and then got icy, and now we have that horrible patchy mess left behind when snow loses it's nerve. the kids had a late start in school, D is having a late start as well (still in bed!), and i'm drinking coffee and finishing up my xmas shopping. oh internets, what did we do before you? going into a store and buying things from surly cashiers seems so primitive to me now. perusing various websites with a list, snug in my slippers, is worth all the shipping and handling i might have to pay. i'm going to eat some cookies for breakfast and maybe take a bath, and start getting things wrapped up.

whew

now that i'm home in my pajamas, full of christmas pizza and beer, with a fun project* stretched out before me, i'm in a fantastic mood. jerks can definitely dampen my christmas spirit, but it cannot be totally thwarted!

sorry i didn't get my cards out in time (or at all). here it is anyhow, in all it's silly watercolor glory! Merry Cthuluhu Christmas to you and yours, and here's hoping for a wonderful 2007 and that the Old Ones keep on sleeping.

xoxoxoxo

*i'm making some headbands to tame my bangs during this awful growing-out phase. giving my hair up is the easy part, watching it try to grow out is the hard part.

merry fucking christmas

i am in a seriously foul mood. it's christmas eve, and i'm at work, people are jerks, and it's snowing again. i like the snow, i love that i'm going to get a white christmas, but my tires do not like the snow and i won't be able to get new ones until next week. it's just kind of an inopportune time for snow.

i'm making the boys at work listen to christmas music, and they love me and aren't even complaining. i'm feeling horribly homesick, and out of sorts, but i promise tonight i'll leave a nice christmas message for you. i did a cute watercolor for the christmas cards i never made or sent out, so we'll just do it electronically. at least science and technology are there for me!

man, i shouldn't even post this, but if i have to be grumpy then you have to hear/read about it. sorry!

goodbye and hello!

the shoes i was selling on ebay came out to almost half of what i paid for the shoes i bought on ebay. that makes me feel better about buying them. i feel like this is more of a trade, really. i get to make some room in my closet, some other woman can wear the shoes i ignore on a regular basis, and i only have to feel half as guilty about spending money on shoes. we all win!

started my christmas lists today; what i've already made, what needs to be finished, things to buy, and all that jazz. i really should get on top of my cards, too. i liked the ones i made last year well enough, but to be honest, i think the ones i made the year before were more genius. i don't know if i'll ever make a card that great again! maybe i can shave "merry xmas" into the back of the cat or something...

i know it sounds all early and stuff, and it's true i hate how early the holidays start now (i think two months of christmas is entirely too much, and starting with all the chrismas stuff right after halloween totally ignores thanksgiving, which has to be one of my favorite holidays), but since i like making the majority of the things i send out, i have to think a little early. to be honest, some of the presents i'm finishing right now i started months and months ago. i hate feeling rushed when i'm making something, and this way i don't. out of all the people i know, i am the laziest and best at procrastinating, and so i have to work around it. i'm late all the time too, so my clocks are all set at random times ahead. i try to make it so they all aren't the same, because then i can do the math too fast. it used to be that i'd have my sister set my clocks, so i never actually knew how fast ahead they were, but she lives far away now and explaining this neurosis to my roommates seems mean. see? you have to work with you have sometimes.

p.s. my sister called tonight to tell me that baby had her first slice of pizza and loved it. i could tell, because baby wasn't making a peep in the background, and the only time she's quiet lately is when she's eating. i know it's a teensy milestone, but baby's first pizza should definately be celebrated.