what the blog?

this is what happens when you let a drunk amanda shop on the internet.  new year's eve, evidently i bid on some jewelry on ebay! i won some too.  this is only one of two new pieces.  i don't know if i should be chagrined, or stoked that drunk me has excellent taste. 

my doctor called today and my lump is benign! no cancer! just a weird lymph node and an overactive imagination.  well, that's not entirely fair.  when you have a parent who had a form of lymphatic cancer, it's okay to be a bit more cautious.  i'm still very sore from the surgery (i think because i have to talk at work), but relieved that it wasn't something serious. 

i had a dream last night where the girlchild was driving the boychik and i around.  it was awesome to not be the one driving.  i told her tonight that i'm seriously looking forward to her getting a license and then carting me around everywhere. 

how to make a good sandwich

i had a dream last night that i got call from the deli used to work at.  they left me a message saying they had no one else to open the deli that morning at 4 a.m., and they really needed me to work.  i knew i didn't work there anymore, but i went in anyway because i knew there wasn't anyone else to take that shift.  i got there early (honestly, going to work at 4 at the morning sounds lame, but is quite nice. it's quiet, you have your list of things you need to do, you get into a certain rhythm and before you know it, the sun is up and it's time for you to go home.), and started work.  slowly, the other deli workers came trickling in as their shifts started, and they were all surprised to see me.  "oh! you're the manager that never works here!" they kept saying.  i told them they never saw me because i didn't actually work there anymore, and when they asked why i was there, i explained that there was really just no one else.  then we started getting customers, and i was amazed at how i knew what ingredients went on which sandwich, and how easy it was for me to put them together.  then, because this was a dream, i forgot to price the sandwiches and all the cashiers got mad at me.  i left work early, because i had to go to my other job, and woke up feeling weird.  proud that i still know how to make a kick-ass sandwich, chumpy because they got me to go into work, at a job i didn't even have anymore.  then i woke up all the way, and reminded myself it was a dream.

i think it's time for a pot of tea

last night was the weirdest in terms of sleep and dreams.  for one thing, i fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons, then woke up at 1 a.m.  normally this is not a big deal: i move myself to bed where i fall back asleep and everything is hunky dory.  last night i found that going back to sleep wasn't an option (for whatever reason) and i ended up staying up until 5 a.m., and then fell asleep just in time for the boychik to wake me up getting ready for school.  after he left i drifted off again, for the hour before the girlchild gets up to get ready for school.  fun times.  then i had a crazy dream about getting my lip re-pierced, in which i not only got my lip pierced, but also got two piercing in each cheek.  for some reason we didn't have the hardware for my cheek piercings (!) so we were holding them open with fishing line.  then i asked a guy who was evidently my brother to borrow his lip ring so i could get the fishing line out of my face, and he gave me this gorgeous inlaid wood and silver ring.  however, his hands were disgusting (so dirty) and i spent a long time trying to find alcohol to sterilize everything before i put it in my face.  did i mention this brother of mine was a hulking beast of a man, all gingery and bearded and nordic looking?  very unlike anything my parents actually produced?

i admit, i always enjoy having dreams about brothers, because that was my one secret wish from childhood: an older brother.

now everyone is out of the house (work and school took them away) and i think it's time for a nice pot of tea, some knitting and slowing working up toward going to the gym.  i was kind of naughty this weekend and ate both pizza and donuts, neither of which is going to help me fit into a smaller pair of pants, but i have been working out pretty steadily so i don't feel too bad.  i probably should, but there's no use crying over eaten donuts, is there?  nope.  i'm not catholic anymore, i don't need that kind of guilt.

the science of my sleep*

last night i had the craziest dream. i was at a state fair, with a wristband to see a concert later in the afternoon along with some friends. the state fair was reasonable enough; large, spread out, dusty, with a whole lot of booths of people selling crafts and vegetables, an indian food stand that i was very excited to see (as colorado is not known for it's good indian food), and my aunt and uncle were there as well. in the center of the outdoor fair area there was this enormous building, filled with tiny shops, showrooms, theaters, restaurants and condos. i wandered into it with friends, right before the concert that i desperately wanted to see, and spent the rest of my dream running through it trying to find my out. i could hear the concert starting, knew that there were a few opening bands so i wasn't very panicked at first. i wandered through the giant building, stopped for a beer with a girl i haven't seen since we went to college together, marveled at these crazy, elaborate "showrooms" you could walk through. i had a feeling they were some modern part of the fair, and had something to do with interior design and creative building. as the bands kept playing though, i got more and more anxious, running through rooms i'd already seen, brushing off my friends, becoming sidetracked when one of them promised we could see the show from their condo. i went up there, it was a huge apartment full of people, i had a beer, then realized that you couldn't see the show from there, you could only hear it. "what do you need to see it for?" i left, running through hallways, taking elevators that were filled with couches, getting lost in the parking garage before finally catching a glimpse of the show. of course, it was from the giant building and i had to somehow find my way out still, and across the lot to the place where it was. but i was happy to know what i was aiming for. there was the requisite sightings of co-workers, old friends i went to high school with, family members and celebrities.

it was all very surreal and intense, and even though i felt rushed and freaked out because i wasn't where i wanted to be, i loved looking at the crazy rooms filled with interesting furniture the small voice in the back of my head wanted me to stop and look longer, so i could draw them when i woke up. i love when my brain makes crazy shit up. i especially loved the couch as elevator thing. it was a surprisingly comfortable ride.

this morning i lazed around the house, eating breakfast with my roommate's outside on the back deck. took a ridiculously long, bad-for-the-earth shower, worked on a shirt i'm embroidering a mushroom on, thought about laundry and had some coffee. i have an honest-to-goodness date tonight, which figures since i have ten days left in this stupid state. i'm not going to say much more than that, normally i don't talk about dating or boys or what have you, but i thought it was worth pointing out because i find it hilarious that the moment i'm ready to go some cute boy comes along and it feels like colorado is once again trying to fuck with me. oh colorado, your sense of humor is twisted at best. but i won't lie, i'm excited about actually doing my hair and putting on some mascara and getting to hang out with someone new. the kissing too, that's fun.
*i've been watching the science of sleep kind of on and off today; i think tomorrow i'll have to really sit and watch. i love it, i just have a million things i should be doing, and am easily distracted today.