Tuesday, April 27, 2010

nope. no. nuh-uh. no way.

does anyone else out there feel an intense feeling of shame when people mention an ex? i dated a guy for a while, not very seriously, and long enough ago that it really shouldn't bother me that he exists*, but whenever anyone mentions him i'm all "NO, i don't remember that." fingers-in-ears, "la la la laaa..." or else i cringe and turn bright red and think "really?! i thought he was a good idea?" i can even be all myself, get an email from a friend mentioning said unmentionable, and suddenly i'm blushing and my stomach is churning and i'm just so ridiculously embarrassed. which i guess is just proof that some people look better with a thin film of love/lust/beer smeared across my glasses. i can't figure out now what i saw in them then, but give me a six pack and a sappy movie and maybe i can recreate the emotion or reasoning. (or lack thereof.)

you would think that at 32, that sort of shit would just roll off me like water off a duck's back.* then i remember that at heart, i'm still way more 15 than i care to admit. dammit.

*i know you've got an ex that infuriates you with their continued existence. i can't be the only one thinking "how dare you?!"

**actual quote taken from an actual boy i used to make-out with in college. he ended up being slightly crazy and alcoholic and was an early entry on my list of "oh my god what was i thinking?"

7 comments:

Sarah Lindahl said...

I had a boyfriend in h.s. that I made a total fool of myself over, and after we broke up he has continually embarrassed me. For example, he briefly tried being a professional wrestler and his handle was "King Diamond" My old friends (and parents) will tease me about that relationship for the rest of my life.

Anne said...

Every boy I dated was totally cool and a super choice. That's the story I'm sticking with, anyway!

Lisa said...

I don't think you can truly appreciate the great boys that are out there until you have at least one cringe-worthy romance.

I love the pro-wrestler ex story. Yeah, I'd never let you forget that either. :)

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Rachel said...

Yeah, I've got one that churns my stomach, and I get all nervous & twitchy any time any one mentions anything about him. And it's pathetic because our "relationship" happened back in college (about 15 years ago), he's married, I'm married, and you'd think I'd be over it by now. And random aside, I like the fact that my word verification is "exanderr" which is basically how my son pronounces his name-Alexander.

milk and cake said...

i know it's dumb to feel so embarrassed, but i'm glad i'm not the only one! and glad mom and pop never knew anything about me and any ex-pro wrestler wannabes. although they knew too much anyway!

sharyn said...

Oh yes. Unfortunately mine is the one I procreated with. I'd broken up with him after a turbulent on again/off again year and not two weeks later found out I was pregnant. I am so very glad I decided to go ahead and have my amazing son on my own, but our limited dealings with his bio-dad have me cringing every time I see him. Ugh.