- until earlier this week, i honestly thought my cat just had one hole to do all her business out of. which, for someone who studied animals in college, has had a cat for more than a few years, and is normally not a retard, is pretty embarrassing to admit. i think part of me did not want to think about my cat having lady parts, and part of me just only ever saw kitten butthole. after i said that out loud, as in, "what? doesn't lulu only have the one hole?" i immediately knew i was wrong. and now the boychik and D call everything they think is a dumb a "one hole." for a smart girl, sometimes i am really dense.
- i stayed out way past my curfew once with a boyfriend in high school, and when i got home, my dad was furious and accused me of "losing my cherry." OUT LOUD. i was 15, and had no idea what "cherry" meant, but was humiliated and freaked out nonetheless. for one thing, i had never had a curfew before he stopped going out to sea, and whenever i'd been super late before, mom always waited until the next morning to yell at me, and so the whole situation was seriously bizarre. what makes this worse is that sometimes when i miss my dad so much i feel like my ribs are going to cave in and suffocate me, i think about that, and it makes me feel better. secretly (or not so secretly now) this makes me feel like a bad daughter, but as much as i loved my pop, it helps to remember the times when he was kind of a dick.
- i feel uncomfortable around "real" indians because i'm just a half-breed (even less than that!) and not indian enough. as much as i enjoy going to the rez and hanging out with my cousins, i don't mention being native out loud to a lot of people because i don't feel nearly indian enough. i have a weird relationship with my ethnicity, and vacillate between being proud and/or indignant, and afraid to say it out loud because i look like a nice italian girl. you know, even though i'm not even remotely italian.
- until i met D, i was super embarrassed about my feet. i was convinced they were the ugliest feet on earth, and no amount of googling photos of "hammertoe" made me feel better. but D thought they were adorable and in some way he made me feel better. i can't tell you exactly how he did it, but one day i was in the shower and i thought, "he might be right, they might not be hideously deformed." what a nice thing he did, without even trying.
- i have very, very mild eczema in a few places, but every patch i get i worry and pick at until it's the grossest thing on earth. to whit; my belly button has been weirdly dry and crusty for over a year, because the moment it almost heals all the way, i get back in there and pick some more. i'm like sarah with scabs, only a million times worse. my belly button is so gross! no one would drink champagne out of it. D even said that once, and while it made me sad, i understood. me and my dry skin are not good friends.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
while catching up on blogs
i came upon a shout-on over at sarah's blog! she very kindly called me a versatile blogger, which is awesome, and came at just the right time because honestly, i feel super boring lately. a blog is primarily a "hey this is what's going on in my head" kind of endeavor, but none of us would blog if we didn't enjoy having readers, right? essentially it boils down to this; yes, a lot of what i write is just ho-hum, i did this today and blah blah blah, not a big deal, but i like having readers. what makes this blog different from a regular paper journal/diary is that i get feedback from people. some of them i know in real life, some i don't. either way, it feels enormously good to hear, "yeah, i feel that way too," or "i get it." in one way or another, isn't almost every comment a "yeah, me too" sort of comment? the satisfaction that comes from writing something, explaining an emotion/day/scenario in a way that makes someone else recognize the same in their own life is one of my favorite things. which is a long-winded way of saying, oh sarah! thank you. and now on to five little known facts about me,