this is what really bothers me:

that having the ex start all this up makes me feel like a gigantic loser. how is it that this guy was the last guy i dated seriously? am i so awful that i can only date the retarded? what is wrong with me? why i can't i just shrug all this off, why does it bother me so much? i feel embarrassingly insecure about how my life might look to him. which is dumb! i felt fine about everything a few days ago! i even felt foxy for the first time in a while. going from feeling foxy to feeling fifteen is depressing. quick, go get my cardigan sweater and a copy of suedehead, i need to lie down.