how can you not love this face?

moreover, how could not love this voice? meet my latest secret jewish boyfriend, eugene mirman.  in the immortal words of troy mcClure, you may know him from his work on bob's burgers (he's the voice of gene), delocated, or from his stand up.  if you know him from any of that, you know he's funny, and for your friend amanda, that's usually all it takes to become my secret jewish boyfriend.  (well, that and you have to be one of the chosen people.) check out the video below, and tell me you don't find him both adorable and hilarious.

Jokes.com
Eugene Mirman - Accept Me as Your God
comedians.comedycentral.com
Eugene Mirman Comedians Stand-Up

hee hee heee!

secret jewish boyfriend

oh andy samberg, with your floppy hair and adorable smile, you are one of my newest secret jewish boyfriends. you are the epitome of things i love in men including curly hair, big noses, and a smart ass sense of humor. i always fall for boys who love poop and dick jokes. i think sometimes secretly i'm a teenage boy stuck in a chubby broad's body.
perhaps you've seen andy on a little-known show, saturday night live, where he's funny in sketches but brilliant in the digital shorts he creates. who can forget such masterpieces as lazy sunday, natalie portman rapping, laser cats and the gift that keeps on giving, dick in a box. dude, he's funny. seriously funny. he's also sort of tall and lanky, and i think a lot about climbing up him. this might sound a little odd, but i always think about what people will look like when they're older; if they'll have a face interesting enough to always want to look at. it might be weird, but i think andy will be cool looking when he's old, and that appeals to me as well.
honestly, look at that face and tell me you don't like it at least a little. of course, secret jewish boyfriends don't get by on looks alone; i'm a sucker for the funny guy. funny is harder than most people give it credit for, and while denzel washington might get by playing the same stoic-faced, impossibly handsome man, i don't think he could crack me up. aside from cheap liquor, that's the fastest way to my swimsuit parts. andy samberg, congratulations on being this week's secret jewish boyfriend.

p.s. he's also hot in glasses, and like that. i like it a lot.

secret jewish boyfriend

welcome to my newest topic: secret jewish boyfriend. inspired by the secret boyfriend posts on spacebeer's blog, as well as the five hundred viewings of short circuit on the boat this summer*, i've decided to let you know who my favorite jewish boyfriends are. after all, it was always my plan to meet a nice jewish boy and settle down to have cute half-jewish kids. i think dating an irish fisherman might make that dream a little less of a reality though, so i'm going to need someplace to extol the virtues of hot judaic men.
since it was guttenberg that started it all, he should start the series, don't you think? i know, i know, he may not be high on most women's lists of hot men, but can you honestly claim that steve isn't a handsome man? look at those dreamy eyes and tell me you don't want to make out with him at least a little. plus, he's got a great head of hair, and we all know i love that in a man.
look at steve's chest! look at his abs! he might have starred in movies that made him out to be a lovable schlub, but look at all the hotness he was hiding underneath his clothes. in the 80's you could hardly see a movie without him in it, while today he makes smaller appearances on tv shows and in movies.
he's even aging well. this photo is not so great since imdb won't let you copy photos and i had to screen save it, but you can still see how steve's appeal is in no way diminishing as he gets older. if anything, he's as hot as he was before. still has great hair, still has that wonderful smile, still makes think wistfully about making out with him. i bet in hollywood dating circles he's a hot commodity.

here you have it, the first installment of secret jewish boyfriend. like your secret boyfriend, only one of the chosen people.

*it was one of four kid-friendly movies on the boat and while the kids were up, that's what we watched. after viewing #304 i started thinking about how steve guttenberg is a totally underrated actor and while he may not be known for huge dramatic pieces or as a conventional ladies man, acting in such a way that makes it seem like he's the boy-next-door and not actually acting is a harder thing to pull off than most people realize. then i started thinking about other guys like that, then i started thinking about cute jewish boys and before i had to make dinner i made a list to use when i got home. now we can have an internet coffee klatch about mensches we love, thanks to steven guttenberg.