effective forms of birth control rarely discussed:- attending any young child's birthday party at chuck e. cheese. especially useful if the kids are mostly toddlers!
- babies with head colds on long flights. the screaming, the snot!
- listening to children whine in the check-out line at the grocery store.
- crying children at the movie theater.
- any extended amount of time spent with a surly teenager not directly related to you.
- chunky spit-up. then later, cleaning up barf when the kids don't make it to the bathroom.
- seeing the hannah montana show, even if only briefly and on accident.
- really, any mention of miley cyrus does it for me. think of your miley cyrus and insert name here ______.
- coincidentally being at a museum at the same time as any school field trip.
- getting caught behind a school bus on your drive home.
i'm sure your children are nice, and i'm glad you had them because i honestly enjoy kids for the most part, but i have to admit lately i'm glad i don't have any of my own. last night after spending three hours at a chuck e. cheese birthday party for a toddler, i was relieved that none of them were going home with me. the cake was awesome, though. dark choclate with a cherry filling!
effective forms of birth control rarely discussed:
6 comments:
I'm pretty sure those are the EXACT reasons I've never gotten knocked up! *shudders*
Oh, dear god. They don't serve beer there, either, do they?
actually, they DO serve beer, but you can only have two. jerks.
There are actually many days that I wish I could sell myself to the gypsies.
Heeheehee!
There are some pretty easy ways to avoid all of those pitfalls, should you ever decide to procreate. It will probably come back to bite me on the ass that I never let my kid go to Chuck E Cheese, didn't let him watch television, and sent salad in his lunch, but I'm tough and I think I'm up to the challenge.
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