Tuesday, April 17, 2012

i didn't marry your friends

the thing about being married is that once you draw up that invitation list, you've pretty much staked your claim as far as friends go.  you know if your spouse-to-be puts someone on that list, is willing to shell out cash money for their dinner and booze, that they are serious about them.  i know that no one went on my list that i was ho-hum about, and i can say the same for D. 

some of his friends, though, i'm not such a fan of.  there's one in particular that i have tried my hardest to like over the past three years, but when i'm honest with myself, i don't much care for her.  i think she's pompous and flighty and i know she's only nice to me because i married her friend.  that's okay.  i gave it a shot, i went to a bunch of parties and made a lot of awkward small talk, asked her a lot of questions about herself and was asked three in return, and finally realized that in the real world, without my husband involved, i would not be friends with her.  i'm okay with that.  i've mentioned on more than one occasion to D that i'm fairly certain this person tolerates me at best, and he isn't too troubled that we aren't going to be BFF any time soon.  at the same time, when she invites us to yet another shindig and i'm less than enthused, he does get a bit butthurt.  i think it's because i make a face like i just smelled a turd when he mentions her.  i don't even realize i'm making it, i swear! it happens so fast!  of course, i always get caught, feel contrite, and then agree to whatever plan is in place.

not this time though.  the next party on the agenda he can go to with the kids, while i stay home.  or go out with my own friends.  we're going to be married for a while, and he's already been friends with her for longer, so i figure on occasion i can duck out to save my sanity.  i'm not saying that i'll never go to another lame-ass hippie fest at someone's house, where i will hide in a corner drinking organic, gluten free beer and listening to people talk about how they gave up sugar and now only use agave,* but i will go to fewer of them.  and i won't feel bad about it either. 

*this makes me so crazy!!! agave is sugar! it's just sugar from a different source!  you aren't giving up sugar if you are using agave or honey or molasses or whatever.  also, there can't possibly be as many gluten intolerant folks out there as i have been led to believe.  sheesh. 

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