i didn't marry your friends

the thing about being married is that once you draw up that invitation list, you've pretty much staked your claim as far as friends go.  you know if your spouse-to-be puts someone on that list, is willing to shell out cash money for their dinner and booze, that they are serious about them.  i know that no one went on my list that i was ho-hum about, and i can say the same for D. 

some of his friends, though, i'm not such a fan of.  there's one in particular that i have tried my hardest to like over the past three years, but when i'm honest with myself, i don't much care for her.  i think she's pompous and flighty and i know she's only nice to me because i married her friend.  that's okay.  i gave it a shot, i went to a bunch of parties and made a lot of awkward small talk, asked her a lot of questions about herself and was asked three in return, and finally realized that in the real world, without my husband involved, i would not be friends with her.  i'm okay with that.  i've mentioned on more than one occasion to D that i'm fairly certain this person tolerates me at best, and he isn't too troubled that we aren't going to be BFF any time soon.  at the same time, when she invites us to yet another shindig and i'm less than enthused, he does get a bit butthurt.  i think it's because i make a face like i just smelled a turd when he mentions her.  i don't even realize i'm making it, i swear! it happens so fast!  of course, i always get caught, feel contrite, and then agree to whatever plan is in place.

not this time though.  the next party on the agenda he can go to with the kids, while i stay home.  or go out with my own friends.  we're going to be married for a while, and he's already been friends with her for longer, so i figure on occasion i can duck out to save my sanity.  i'm not saying that i'll never go to another lame-ass hippie fest at someone's house, where i will hide in a corner drinking organic, gluten free beer and listening to people talk about how they gave up sugar and now only use agave,* but i will go to fewer of them.  and i won't feel bad about it either. 

*this makes me so crazy!!! agave is sugar! it's just sugar from a different source!  you aren't giving up sugar if you are using agave or honey or molasses or whatever.  also, there can't possibly be as many gluten intolerant folks out there as i have been led to believe.  sheesh. 

insert foot in mouth, remove, use to kick ass

oh facebook, you fickle mistress. i posted some wise-ass comment about sandra bullock's new brown baby, and how ridiculous it was they dressed him up in beads, because you know, he's not actually from africa, and my future sister-in-law took offense and sent me an email about it. granted, she's a white woman with a brown baby too, and i think she thought i was making fun of the brown part of the photo, when really i was irritated at the beads and the whole "exotic baby as awesome new fashion accesory" attitude of the elite/famous. her question was "would you have made that comment if the baby were white?" and i said, "if that baby was white, there wouldn't have been any beads." i let her know that (and pointed out that thanks to having a brown pop, i am actually browner than she might realize), and i *think* she's less irriated with me, but DAMN. i started the day on an asshole note, let's hope i clean up my act by this afternoon when anne and henry gets here.

in other news, anne and henry are on a train on their way here as we speak! i'm excited to have them up for a few days. i plan on stuffing them full of food, showing them around, crafting like crazy old ladies, and then sending them home with cookies. i'm sad my man tiernan has to stay home, but he and his dad are probably going to enjoy their staycation.

on that note, i'm going to go clean the house so i don't give henry too many opportunities to poke his eyes out with something sharp, or put something filthy in his mouth. he's a smart three year old, but my house is kind of a mess.

city love

as a kid growing up on whidbey island, going into the city of seattle was always a big deal. i remember being in the backseat of the car, looking out the window, straining to see the space needle the very second it came into view. i would get this big rush of a feeling, right in my chest, like i'd taken the deepest breath possible and was now ready to explode. seattle was interesting, it was different and new and had people and things and art like i'd never imagined. i always thought i would feel that way only about seattle, and for the most part that's true. however, i have another city that makes me feel much the same way, and that would be portland, or.

i had such a good time this weekend. when i cross the bridge and see the sign that says "entering portland" my chest gets that same feeling i used to have as a kid on my way into the "city," and i get excited about seeing my friends and doing new and different things. portland is in some ways more exciting to me, since i don't know it that well. getting to see my friends is also a huge part of why i love portland so much.

my first full day there, anne got her first tattoo, had her first shot of tequila, helped me try on wedding dresses, and organized a very surprising bachelorette party for me. if that's not the most awesome thing you've ever read, then you are dead inside. then later, after i'd had way more than my allotted share of tequila, i barfed in not one, but all three of the toilets in anne's house! puking makes me feel all shaky and panicy, so when it wouldn't stop (and it wouldn't!), i went upstairs thinking i'd drink some water and lay down on the couch. (my thinking at that point was, "if i'm going to die, i want to do it up there, where i'll be found sooner." i stay in the basement when i visit, because my friends are well aware of my mole-person tendencies.) the water didn't stay down, and i ventured up to the top floor of the house where i knew anne would pat me on the back and work her mom-magic. sometimes, when you're barfing, all you really need is a soothing voice telling you you're going to be fine, and here's a rubber band to pull your hair out of your face. we had a good chuckle too, in between my dry-heaves. evidently i am not as young or as much of a rock-star as i like to think.

and if you don't like to read about food after hearing about puking, then maybe you should stop now.

remember how i said i wanted to eat delicious things? well, that also happened. anne introduced me to bui natural tofu, which is epicly awesome. even if you don't think you like tofu, you will find something there to enjoy. we had the onion tofu, the lemongrass, the meatballs tucked into tofu pillows, and the salad rolls. there wasn't anything there that i didn't enjoy. the staff is also crazy nice and helpful. we had pie at bipartisan, then anne made a cherry and blueberry pie at home the next day. her crust really is the best. i shared my cheesey eggs one morning with henry, and then there was the Unfortunate Incident with The Burrito. the only one of us digested any part of it was aussie, the dog. aside from that, the portland eats were just as good as i hoped!

i came home tired, happy, and inspired to make and do new stuff. it was nice to get out of town for a bit, and it was nice to come home. i have photos of all this over on flickr, if you want to go check it out. there might be photos there of a certain blogger trying on wedding dresses...

things i want to do while in portland

eat something delicious. i'm pretty sure pie is on the menu (hell yeah it is!), and maybe something tasty and of the steamed bun variety?!

look at wedding dresses. i'm actually more and more excited about the idea, oddly enough. in general i've been worrying that it will be hard to find something i like, or that the whole thing will be a lot of disappointmet (like finding an awesome dress, only to have it be way to expensive), but this weekend i get to do it with friends, and that will soften any blow the wedding industry might have in store for me.

read comics with the boys.

maybe do a little yarn/craft shopping. specifically, i want to make this little shawlette, and i need to find some cool yarn to do it with! i've also been really good about not yarn shopping in portland, because i know i'll find a million things i want/need/covet.

i think it will be nice to get out of my house, out of my head a bit, and see people i never get to see! as my boy T puts it, "aunt amanda, a year between visits is too long." true that, little man. i used to go down to portland all the time! i miss it there. it's my kind of town.

ooh, and my little niece turns the big 4 weekend! so i need to get her a present that won't make her mama insane. right now i have this awesome laughing puppy toy for her, but it gets a bit obnoxious after a while, and i don't want to make my sister and her boyfriend crazy!

bits and bobs

i get to go out of town this weekend, which is pretty exciting. i don't think i've left town in far too long, and i'm looking forward to getting to see friends and just goofing off. it's also time to start to actually doing some wedding planning. crazy. the other day i realized i have 8 months to go and maybe i should start trying on dresses and picking out stationary and compiling addresses. D's mom is super excited about the planning, and since she recently helped one of his brothers plan and execute his wedding, she knows a lot about what's in the area. if i think about all the stuff i have to do before someone pronounces us man and wife, i hyperventilate a little, so i'm trying to parse it out into small things; this month i start with the dresses and paper, next month, who knows! food, and decorations. thank goodness we already know where we want to get married. which reminds me, i should really bring them some cash money, so we can indeed actually get hitched there. see! so much to do.

lest you think i'm all blinded by love

i have, in fact, spent some quality time with my girlfriends and will admit that the boyfriend is awesome but falls short on a few fronts. for one, he can't make a decent cup of coffee. dear lord, it's not hard. it's true his coffee pot is sort of shitty, but his coffee is just impossible. i will choke a cup down in the morning because i have to, not because i want to. also, he wears clogs. not just any clogs; but brown man-clogs that are approximately five hundred years old. what's funny is he hardly ever wears anything else brown. he also lives in sweatpants when he is not at work or going to or from school, which, when paired with the brown man-clogs of doom make him look ridiculous. adorable, yes, but he is amazing in his ability to look handsome while clownish at the same time.

okay, maybe i'm a little blinded by my affection for him.

i have work related stuff to tell you too, but to be honest, i'm hoping to get into work early tomorrow and make some cash money. that means going to bed now! before i go, though, your stories ruled. i hope this one turns out as well.

par-taaay!

one of the best and worst things about my home is that on any given night i might come home to a party already in progress. i admit, tonight i was not thrilled about the prospect. however, after getting the cat set up in my room (one of my best friends is pretty afraid of cats, making lulu more of a liability than fun for her) i'm actually having a good time. living here means giving up on some of my hermit tendencies, and while this is a bit annoying at time, at other times i realize it's kind of good for me.

the end.

something in the air

everyone is having a lousy week. it's not just me, and pretty much everyone else i know having a crappy time is having it much worse than i am, so i feel guilty for wallowing around in boy-self-pity. a good friend of mine just got a DUI. another found out her husband is sleeping with what used to be her best friend. one of my favorite customers is helping his girlfriend go through the last stages of her cancer. a cute couple i work with are going through the first stages of breaking up. everyone i know is sad and freaked out and worried about the future. it's a mess. i find myself hugging my friends a lot lately, hugging them tight just so they know i'm here.

this all makes me want to cancel my birthday plans and just settle in for the rest of the month at my house with a cup of tea, a few knitting projects, the kitten and her toys, and just hide out until the emotional storm passes. that's probably not very realistic, but a girl can dream.

bittersweet

my last night out was fun. a lot of fun. so much fun, in fact, that i was pretty much hungover all day yesterday. i finally felt human this morning, although my stomach is still a tiny bit angry at me. note to self: martini's get the job done, but they are a fickle mistress. seeing my friends and having drinks and going to all the bars in town i love was fun. i don't want to leave them behind. my friends, i mean. bars are great but universal. if i can get them out to visit me in portland, maybe they'll love it and stay. why can't i just take all the great part of colorado with me?! is that so much to ask?

look at my pretty corsage! it's true i basically hounded justin into buying it for me, but i loved it. it was fun to wear it around, and girls everywhere we went were all jealous. it was cute the way people reacted. part of me wanted it because it's girly flowers, the other part just wanted something fancy i could hold onto at the end of the night. having something to remember the night by, the way you do at the end of prom, was nice. is nice.

the moving box shows up tomorrow. i should be packing for it, disassembling my furniture, labeling boxes, wrapping up my five hundred virgin mary statues in bubble wrap, but instead i started knitting a new baby blanket and have been watching hours of tv. we only get two channels, both of them are lousy, and yet i sat through a whole hour of cops last night. my eyes have that heavy pressure behind them, like right before you realize you're going to cry, only i'm not crying. it gives me a headache. there's a lot i'm sad about leaving behind, more than i realized until just this week. that makes me both happy and sad, and also makes me want to curl up on the couch and watch some more tv and knit furiously at the celadon blanket, ignoring the inevitable.

my, how things have changed

i got an email earlier tonight from a friend of mine who needed help picking out a phone that would work with the bluetooth in his acura. HIS ACURA. mind you, when i met this boy, he drove a VW bus, had longer hair than mine, and a penchant for jam-bands. now he has an acura! and khaki slacks! and short hair! however, he is still a vegetarian, and he did provide me with the greatest nephews on earth, so i am not complaining. it's just a very damn moment when you realize "oh shit, we're growing up." by "we" i mean, of course, all my friends. i'm still single and sans-cat or children, and looking to move myself both out of this state and further into debt. i do get carded a lot less, and that's grown-up enough for me right now.

i never told you about my ridiculous st. patrick's day, did i? i went out with friends from work, wore the de riguer green shirt and some new shoes of mine (that i ended up scuffing, but damn, they were cute!), drank green beer and many car-bombs, and had a blast. i ended up where i always do after nights out in fort collins, at meaghan and kevin's house, in one of their guest bedrooms. i love their house. it's close to downtown, it's big, they have two wonderful dogs and cable tv. i think sometimes i drink just so i can spend the night there. in any case, a whole bunch of us went back there including some married guy who honed right in on me. i knew he was married, and kept turning him down. plus, he wasn't exactly my type. we had fun talking about music and stuff, but i think he mistook my general friendliness for something else* and just would not get the hint. he followed me to my room, where he tried to feel me up, and so i got up and told him i had to puke. i did not have to puke, barf or otherwise vomit, but i kind of think of barfing as being the biggest turn-off on earth so i used it. i hung out in the bathroom for a while, drank some water, did some coughing, sat around then headed out. seeing that he was still in my room, i decided to crash on the couch. guess who came looking for me? um, hello. i fake-barfed to get away from you and am now sleeping on the couch instead of my perfectly wonderful guest bed and you still don't get the hint? so i fake barf again, only this time instead of taking my time i head for the bathroom and make a beeline to my room, where i lock the door and turn on the tv and go to bed. yay for me! yay for locks! the next morning said boy tried to be miffed with me, but i ignored him. i woke up quite pleased with myself, albeit hungover and with a sour stomach.

i also decided that night that colorado is full of people who are already dating other people. i know one single person in the whole state beside myself, and pretty much everyone else i know is dating someone they went to high school with, which is just about as foreign a concept to me as dating my cousin. why would you date someone you went through puberty with? maybe bigger schools make this less of an issue, but i can't wrap my brain around it. i would never in a thousand years date someone i went to high school with, but evidently here i am in the minority. plus, i'll never find my jewish prince charming here. at least on the west coast i have a fighting chance. speaking of west coast: 14 days! fourteen!

*this never fails to mystify me. talking about music and agreeing that marylin manson is not the devil is not exactly an invitation to my vagina. it's small talk. when one of you is married, it's more than small talk, it's chit-chat at best. i cannot figure out what in our conversation exactly led this boy to believe that not only did i want to do him, but that his being MARRIED wasn't an issue. what the hell. plus, he was enormous. i wasn't going to mention it, but he was a fat bastard and that wasn't helping his cause either.