at least, it feels that way. things are growing in the garden, i took four bags of clothes to the thrift store yesterday, swiffered enough hair to create a small dog out of my bathroom, and have started going to the gym again.
i am so incredibly spoiled that i don't even realize it sometimes. my work has two gyms in the building; one that's all weights and mirrors (and kind of hidden) and one with a crazy amount of gear. three treadmills, two bikes, two eliptical machines, a nautilus weight thing, a rowing machine, a stair climber and hand weights. AND cable tv. seriously. you can watch cartoons while getting sweaty. not only that, but using them is totally, 100% free of charge. you just sign a waiver saying that if you get your sweatpants stuck in the belt of the treadmill you won't sue, and the gym is all yours. when i started working at the insurance company, i used the gym on all my breaks, just to get out of my training class to stand up for a while. then i moved upstairs and stopped doing that. i go through fits and spurts of using it more and less often, but i have noticed a few things that make me go more. for instance, if i go on monday, i am way more likely to go again a few more times that week. if i pack my gym bag the night before, i'm less likely to forget it. if there's someone else in the gym while i'm there, i tend to stay longer, because i don't want them thinking i'm a loser who only stays for half an hour. and that ke$ha is oddly motivating. i'm embarrassed how much i enjoy her crappy songs while working up a sweat. i also mentioned to my husband the other day how much i like going, how good i feel, but that i sometimes feel guilty not coming right home from work. the look he gave me was priceless, and the moment i said it out loud, i realized how dumb i was being. now that i don't feel guilty about not rushing right home and have loaded way too much pop music onto my ipod, i feel like this recent run of gym going might turn into an honest to goodness habit. in a good way.
my whole goal with going to the gym is, among other things, to not be so self conscious anymore. i've gotten to a point with my body that while i'm not hideously deformed and not clinically morbidly obese, i don't feel awesome in my own skin. i had a biometric screening a few weeks ago, as well, that made me realize my cholesterol is too high. i figure adding in some more activity and soluble fiber can't hurt, right?
also, one year ago today i married my husband. we had a big, lovely wedding, i got to spend time with people i love, and officially became part of this family. it was a remarkable day, and i'm so glad we had that big party. we're celebrating on wednesday, because that's the day we made it legal, but today we're being schmoopy and my husband sent me flowers at work and i think if this first year is any indication, we've got some more good years coming.