on finding a doctor

this post is  just me talking about finding a new doctor and about being nervous. some of it is a repeat of stuff i've written about before.

(and it is also a re-post from tumblr.  yes, i have a tumblr. i'm too old for tumblr and do not give a fuck!)

on restraint

i have been enforcing weird little time-outs on things lately.  not doing something for a week or longer, to kind of evaluate how it affects me.  this pay period i'm not buying anything on the internet.  i realized that i buy a lot of weird, random items while on-line, and i probably don't need all of them.  i thought, "i'll not do it for two weeks and see what happens."  thus far i have resisted buying some books, music, tshirts, and craft items.  this means i am reading books i have around the house (of which there are a billion), working on projects i've already started, and wearing clothes i already own.  surprise, surprise: my bank account is happier.  twenty dollars here or there seems like nothing, but taken all together, it ends up being a chunk of cash.

i also brought my lunch to work every day this week.  even if you only spend $5 a day on a sandwich, that is also money that adds up quickly.  being financially prudent isn't exactly fun, but my bank account is happy.  

i bought the pattern for this shawl over a month ago and haven't touched it because it looked hard.  for real.  i'm a baby.  the girlchild had a sleepover the other evening, and i started it then, because i was hiding out in my room to give them space and full reign over the tv.  (i can't stomach that new 90210, it's sooooo tawdry and terrible!) it takes a lot of concentration and patience, and i'm actually really enjoying it.  it's full of short rows and stripes, and it's using up all the bits of worsted yarn i have in my stash. 

august

it's cliche, i know, to say "the summer has gone by so quickly," but it really has.  suddenly it's almost the middle of august!  what have we done this summer?

i've been doing a lot of knitting with cotton, making dishcloths.  or washcloths.  depends on where you use them, i guess.  the ones above are a double strand garter stitch version; nothing fancy, but they look pretty and are extra thick.  working with cotton yarn so much usually makes my hands ache, but either i'm doing it right or my  hands are getting tougher; i've made a billion things and my hands feel fine (knock on wood). i say "hands," but what i mean is my left hand, with the cyst.  that is the one that gets achey and goes numb.  in any case, i can't possibly keep all the cotton dishcloths i'm making, so a fair amount will become presents.  i have friends having babies, and making smaller cloths for babies is too fun.  the lovely thing about cotton is how soft it gets after being washed, and you can make a bunch of little ones quickly; that way parents aren't stuck with a giant handful of washcloth when giving baby a bath, and because i can make a billion, you don't feel like you have to re-use it. you can clean up baby with a new one each time so you don't run into stinky washcloths!

they boys keep getting bigger and bigger!  we took them to the vet for the first time last week; they were both crazy well-behaved sweethearts and everyone who met them adored them.  tali is a bit bigger than vince at 2.9 lbs, vince is 2.6.  they got their first rounds of shots, tested negative for feline leukemia, and got some flea drops.  in two weeks they go back for boosters and we make the appointment for their fixing.  their distinct personalities are definitely also becoming more apparent.  vince is bit needier than tali; he wants more of your attention, more of the time.  tali is very playful and a bit more outgoing when he meets new people.  they still pal around together all the time, which is nice.  i like that they have each other. i don't like litter boxes, though, or making kids clean them.  i clean them too, don't get me wrong, but i don't think i should be the only one doing it.  why does every domestic chore immediately default to that?! even in my hippie family, when something is dirty or needs to be tidied, the onus falls to me to work on it.  if i were a quieter woman, i guess i'd go with it, but i feel okay saying, "no, it's not all my responsibility."  most of the time, anyway.   

thursday at 21 vs. thursday at 35

when i was in college, thursday nights in bellingham were all about going out.  friday and saturday were busy, don't get me wrong, but thursday was the big night because one bar did $1 pitchers, one bar did .50¢ well drinks (for only an hour, but what an hour it was!), and at another bar it was 80s night.  honestly, for $10 you could get drunk, dance your pants off, and find some nice boy to make out in a corner with.  my friends and i used to go out pretty much every thursday, sometimes getting burritos first to make sure no one drank liquor on an empty stomach.  i made out with cute boys and boys were only cute because i was full of cheap beer.  it sounds tawdry, but it was really a lot more like spin the bottle than the jersey shore.  i remember it being a little wild, very funny, but beyond some kissing not too many made it to second base or beyond.

thursday nights lately have meant a house all to myself.  D and the girlchild work on thursday nights (she babysits for one of his co-workers), the boychik is usually working or out and about (19 year old boys are an elusive group), and i get to do whatever i like.  that usually involves watching a movie no one else would enjoy, having something random for dinner, like toast, and maybe painting my nails.  it's not quite the screaming hilarity of my youth, but alone time is so rare when you are a grown-up with a family.  it feels a shame to waste it on dishes or laundry, or going out.

i will admit, though, sometimes i miss drinking those lukewarm pitchers of beer and flirting with boys and making an ass of myself on the dance floor. maybe tonight i'll put on a greatest hit of the 80s cd and dance around my house.