aaaargh, i'm all frothy and full of rage right now because the boychik and i were talking about his job and how they might go on strike and he was like, "whatever, if they do that i'll just see if my boss will bump me up and i'll take so-and-so's job."
i was stunned. i said, "seriously? you'd be a scab?" and he shrugged and repeated his "whatever." "you know, these are people you work with. when the strike is over, they get to come back to work. then they'll work with you and know you're a scab who doesn't give a shit about them." again, nothing but a shrug.
i kind of lost my cool. which i guess happens, but the end of our conversation was me saying, "it must be nice to not give a shit about anyone else. you're an asshole."
i hate this part of youth. this i-know-everything attitude and the idea that the very earth revolves around you. he's worried about not working for a few days, and he's got over $5,000.00 in the bank. he's moving into a house where he'll have to spend $200 a month in rent. he's got fucking amazing health insurance because I PAY FOR IT. he doesn't do chores, he doesn't tell us where he is, he spend as much as he can criticizing us and eating our food, and yet...i'm torn between knowing i'll miss the fucker when he moves and glad i won't have to hear him skulking around.
he really just had no idea or regard for anyone else. he's a happy white kid who's just charming enough to be dangerous, and handsome to boot. why should he give a fuck about anyone else? the middle aged women he works with who have families and debt and no one else to look out for them. the grown-up working at a grocery store to take care of their kids, who want a fair wage and health insurance that isn't shit. i want to cry when i think about his blase attitude. yeah, his mom is a fucking mess who bailed, and there were parts of his childhood that were less than ideal, but the world doesn't owe him anything.
i know i shouldn't let it bother me, and i'm sure my therapist would have some tips for not thinking about this, or some words of wisdom about letting him learn his own hard lessons, but i feel so terrible. this is a kid i'm at least somewhat responsible for, that i love, that i'm unleashing into the world with a chip on his shoulder and an alarming lack of care for anyone but himself. he's a selfish jerk. and i'm an asshole for pointing it out.