Sunday, October 06, 2013

knee jerk response

this is my senior homecoming, 1994 that dress was $7
 ever since the boychik got me all worked up into a frenzy, he's been an absolute doll.  aaaargh.  D thinks that maybe he's picking fights with me so that i won't ask him "real" questions about him moving out or his new girlfriend, or whatever.  i told him that i'm going to choose to think that he's pushing my buttons because i'm his parent and he loves me.  "kids do that, right?" i asked, "it's like a thing they do to see where your boundaries are?" in short; he's treating me like a parent, so i'm going to focus on that.

the girlchild got asked to homecoming.  i don't know why i wasn't prepared for it; she's really, honestly a lovely girl. getting taller and prettier by the day, much to her father's chagrin.  no, that's not quite true. we're both digging watching her grow into her face, and agree that she's more than just pretty, she's also very down-to-earth and funny and kind.  i should have been anticipating that she would be asked, because she's not a 14 year old girl who is afraid of boys.  having spent most of her life with her brother and dad only, she understands boys. there's no mystery, no angst or anxiety about hanging out with them.  she tends to bowl all the boys over with her mix of adorableness and fart jokes.

she got into the truck friday afternoon with a pink rose.  i asked her where she got it and she told me she'd been asked.  i won't lie, i squealed a little.  she said, "yeah, i guess i have to go now." i said, "no you don't, you go if you want to, not because you think you have to. don't do something just because a boy wants you to." she gave me a sidelong glance and giggled and said, "you know i want to go, i'm just giving you a hard time."  i told her that i was excited for her, but still full of feminist agenda.  "i know, amanda."  

we went dress shopping this weekend, and for all my feminist agenda, i had a few knee jerk reactions to the dresses she tried on.  too short! too tight! oh my god, you have a butt hiding under there! no, no, something more shapeless!  none of these things i said out loud, however.  i don't want her to be ashamed or feel weird about her body, and i don't think it's her job to be all prim and proper so boys won't get ideas, as i could put her in a burlap sack and they'd get ideas.  she ended up with a stretchy black dress with one strap, no sequins ("they itch!"), and when she puts it on and pulls her hair up it's kind of audrey hepburn.  all long neck, legs and arms.  she looks 16 when she puts it on, not 24, thank god.  it gave D a heart attack, but who can blame him?  that's his baby.

i'm glad she wanted to go dress shopping with me, though. she made me a little crazy at first, but i realized later it's because we both hate malls (THANK GOD) and she was anxious because she didn't know what size she was, what to expect of the dresses, etc.  we talked about the boy she's going with (he runs cross country with her, he's a sophomore, "really nice"), who else was going, what people have been saying about the dance.  she's obviously excited. i always had fun at proms and homecomings, so i'm excited for her too.  i told her i'd pull out some old photos so i could show her my ridiculous dresses. like the one above; bought for $7 at the thrift store, all velvet and 1970's.  that was my friend jonathan, who i probably should have made out with, but i didn't think he liked me.  we had a great time that night; jonathan was totally into wearing something 1970s (down to the buster browns!), we went to the city for the day and then stayed up all night. i think i got home at 6 in the morning.  we had a lot of fun.  i hope she does too (but i'll probably ask her to come home sooner).

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