happy new year!

i made tiny pigs in blankets, a couple of dips, and we watched the ball drop in NY.  seeing dick clark made me tear up, though.  i'm glad he's still around and kicking, and doing what he loves, but it still comes as a shock to me that he's aging.  for most of my life he's looked exactly the same! 

also, if i haven't mentioned it before, i hate jenny mcCarthy!  they should have dropped the ball on that ridiculous, plastic injected dimwit. 

and on that happy note, happy new year! 

gearing up for the new year!

tonight i took D out for a grown-up dinner that involved none of the foods eaten over the holiday.  nothing with bacon, potato, chicken, cold cuts, turkey, or lasagna.  where did we go? we went out for sushi, of course.  awesome, awesome sushi.  there's a place in town that has one of those conveyor belts and jesus h. christ, i love those things.  watching little half-rolls of sushi goodness glide by, swooping in for the most delectable looking ones, watching the tiny plates stack up...it's pretty much my favorite thing ever.  the thing about sitting in front of the space-age conveyor is that you think you'll never get full of sushi.  it all slides by and it all looks great, and you think "oh those plates are so tiny...we can eat one more..." and then you get up to go pee and HOLY SHIT you are full of sushi.  it's like magic!  yummy magic.

tomorrow is new year's eve and you know that can mean only one thing: twilight zone marathon on syfy.  i'll pop out of the house at some point to buy some bubbly wine and crescent rolls for the pigs in a blanket (because champagne and hot dogs together are divine, duh), but i plan to spend the rest of the day on the couch, watching rod serling, and knitting.  does anything sound better than that?  um, no.  D will work part of the day, but he'll be home in time to kiss me at midnight and make a goofy hat to celebrate.  plus, as much as he loves me, no one loves that much twilight zone except for me.  he'll probably also get home in time to save me from the kids, who will want to beat me to death by then.  unless i can somehow convince them the twilight zone is awesome, and i don't see that happening.  kids these days don't dig anything in black and white, let me tell you.  too bad i pay for the cable!      

things we got for xmas

• three cookbooks, one all about making your own cheese.
• an ice cream maker.
• a deep fryer.

who wants to roll me down the aisle?  

hey look!

i made a calendar for next year!  it took way too long to make (something like five hours) but i think that's partly because i was just winging it.  if i make another it shouldn't take as long.  D got me the lovely Italian paper the squirrel is cut out of, and this morning i was looking at wall calendars on etsy, and thought, "oh, i should try to make one."  in supplies it cost less (i had everything but the rubber cement), but in time it cost more, that's for sure.  i didn't make too giant a mess either, which makes me happy.  in the end, i think it turned out cute. 

hello, darlings

look at this awesome purse my sainted mother gave me for xmas.  it's giant, it's sturdy, it's covered in sugar skulls and it's got a rad flat bottom so it stands upright (making it perfect for knitting).  it's funny how i rate purses now not just based on awesome looks, but whether or not it can carry my yarn and needles, and how easy it is for me to knit right out of the bag. 

there's an oddities mini-marathon on over at discovery, so i've been working on my missoni blanket and watching.  i think it would be totally worth the price of plane tickets to take the kids to NY to see the place in person.  we could go to some museums too, so it would be all kinds of educational... 

i have a house full of quiet

sigh...D and the kids went to a co-worker's going-away, farewell, bon voyage party, and i opted to stay home.  technically, it's a party for two of his co-workers, one of whom i like, the other one...not so much.  plus, and this sounds Catty, capital C, but he never accompanies me to any work functions, and yet i've met every one of his co-workers, and sometimes that seems a little unfair to me. 

it's nice to have a quiet house for a few hours as well.  i took a whole week off work, and now i kind of wonder if that was the best idea i've ever had.  i need to pick a project (or three) to work on, so i don't go stir-crazy.  my pants feel kind of tight, so taking some walks sound like a good idea (dear xmas, screw all your delicious fatty food!), and maybe i'll finally (FINALLY) clean out and organize my sewing/craft/computer room.  i have some stuff that should go in the mail, some that should go to the thrift store, endless expanses of things that need to be dusted or vacuumed or washed, so finding things to occupy me shouldn't be too difficult.

to be perfectly honest, i had a terrible dream last night and woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  everything is rubbing me the wrong way.  i also miss my dad, and i miss my uncle.  holidays are weird now without them and while i love my mom and aunt, i love D and the kids, i love D's folks and siblings and nieces and nephews, there's just something missing.  plowing through this holiday i just pretended everything was fine and i was okay, but now that i have three minutes alone, i feel...bad.  i think all the weird and stressful dreams are just my brains way of letting off some steam, but waking up every morning with a clenched jaw and roiling stomach has gotten old.  i think while i have some time alone, maybe i'll take a nice long bath, listen to some music, have a good old fashioned cry.  i think i just need to get it out of my system.  i'm sorry, i think now i'm rambling.  i'm not a great big emotional mess, i promise.  i think it just occurred to me that maybe putting my head down and powering through was good for a while but maybe isn't a healthy long-term solution. 

oh my gosh, the holidays happened and stuff

sorry for the quiet, all three of my readers.  we had an awesome fun holiday, with a lot of toys given and gotten, too much food made and consumed, and a lot of visitors and visiting.  whew.  being single made this kind of shit a lot easier, but i didn't get to buy satanic xmas gifts and something called jeggings for my semi-step-children then, either.  and honestly?  that was pretty fun.  holidays and kids really are a nice combination.  i could do without all the fucking wrapping paper, but other than that, i'm happy.  i hope you also had a happy/merry/radical xmas and are gearing up for an equally amazing new year.  

two years ago today...

i was working at haggen, in the deli, and about two hours away from getting off work and going out on my first date with D.  i was a little bit of a nervous wreck; i had to change in the bathroom before i went over to his house, and i was worried i would smell like fried chicken and grease.  i remember i wore my black and silver striped t, my all black work chucks, and this goofy necklace i made out of stuff from michael's crafts.  did i mention i was nervous?  i made some poor girl i worked with hang out with me in the bathroom while i got ready because i was so spastic.

i remember pulling up to his house, and seeing him at the kitchen table with his roommate and i was literally so nervous that i actually thought about driving away.  really.  i had a moment when i thought "i could just drive home right now and he would never know i came by and didn't come inside."  i sucked it up though, after all, i had put on some eyeliner.  i pretended my palms weren't sweaty and knocked on the door.  he hugged me after he opened it, and i thought that was nice.  i brought over a bottle of wine, not knowing that he didn't drink wine, and we ate pork verde and chips with his roommate and his girlfriend.  we got kind of drunk, and after hours of sitting at the table talking and talking, i put some music on his cd player and he swooped in and kissed me.

i distinctly recall thinking "oooh..."  he was (is) a good kisser.  we made out in the kitchen, which seems fitting now, because that is our favorite room in the house.  when we talk about our "dream home" we always start with the kitchen.

we're going out to dinner, and then maybe we'll get to make out some more!  i have to say, it's been a good two years.

really, i don't have a problem

it's just that these are SO fun and easy to make, turn out super cute, and when you hang them on your tree you can almost see the little gnomes creep out of the woodwork.  i love them. 

ha ha...gross

i knit so much this weekend that at one point my mean pea started to throb.  it was actually under there, pulsing away, grossing everyone out. 

i am a hardcore eXtreme knitter, though, so i just took two more advils and got back to work.  there are a million more tiny mushroom that need to be made, and my afghan looks more and more awesome with every passing stitch. 

jingle bells

this is the last weekend before the Big Holiday, and i plan on spending all of it at home, baking some cookies and doing some knitting.  there are a few things i would like to pick up, but i had a kerfuffle with my bank account, and so those last minute presents will be VERY last minute; like xmas eve.  ugh.  i hate putting it off so long, but the legal firm i'm using for my bankruptcy made an accounting mistake and took too much out of my account this month.  the good news is that since they've got it, they'll use it for some other fees that i won't have to worry about later.  D got fussy about it, and i would have too, but the fact remains that i'm using kind of a cheap law firm.  that's what i could afford, and you know, you get what you pay for.  i'm sure they'll handle all the filing and typing and all that jazz just fine, a little accounting mistake hasn't shaken my faith to the core or anything like that.  it throws a kink into my holiday planning, but nothing serious.  i had most everything bought anyhow!

the kids are now on xmas break; one of them is out riding his bike, one is reveling in watching tv (since she's been banned from it for weeks now).  i'm going to warm up my cup of coffee, work on more tiny knit mushrooms, an afghan, and maybe a batch of eggnog bread.  i might not leave the house or even change out of my pjs today.  so don't come over!

making a list!

it's feeling like a holiday kind of day.  the girlchild is dressing the tree (she loves it, and i let her do most of it; partly because i'm lazy, partly because it's just a lot of fun to drink coffee on the couch and tell her how awesome it looks), i'm packing stuff up, working on cleaning my sewing/knitting/computer room, and doing some last-minute gift knitting.  i told the girlchild i'm working on some mittens for my sister, but joke's on her!  the mitts are actually for her, i just don't have time to try to hide the knitting from her.  my mom used to do the same thing to me; every year i'd see her working on something for someone else, and it would end up in a box for me.  i was a dupe as a kid (soooo gullible) i never once caught on.  it happened almost every year, and i know mom thought i was in on her little joke, but i must have been in my 20's by the time i figured it out. 

all that talk of my genius is sometimes overstated, is the point of that anecdote! 

i have been trying to downsize my crafty supplies.  some are from projects i used to work on years ago, and might not get back into.  a lot are taking up valuable space.  i don't know what's come over me the past year, but i'm way more open to getting rid of stuff.  my packrat days are fading.  yeah, i might use that ball of yarn i've been carting from one apartment to another for YEARS to make a hat, but honestly?  if i haven't used it by now, i probably won't.  that's okay.  someone else might get more use out of it, or at the very least it can become part of their stash.  i've got a cup of coffee, my new favorite podcast on, and boxes filling with stuff that's got to get out of my house.  wish me luck! 

holiday crafting!

one of my favorite things to do is watch hoarders while making a mess in my own house crafting.  watching people cram their houses with useless stuff encourages me to clean up after myself. plus, my house looks fucking amazing in comparison. 

my awesome friends the o'neals bought me this equally awesome card making kit from stencil 1! at first i had kind of a hard time using it (i am impatient! i didn't read the instructions very well, and applied way too much paint!), now that i know what i'm doing, i can't stop stenciling everything in sight.   i also want to buy a lot more stencils and put them up all over town.  the stag stencil is a great holiday/xmas card motif; nice and bold without being too sappy.  if you get one for xmas, please act surprised.  i'm sorry i burst the bubble, they are just too rad to keep to myself.

how do atheists spent xmas?

pretty much like everyone else.  i do, anyway.  truth be told, i LOVE christmas music.  my favorite thing to do this time of year is to find one of those "all xmas music, all the time" radio channels and sing along until my lungs bleed.  i know it's weird, but i spent a lot of time believing in god and liking the christmas story, and even though i don't have faith now, doesn't mean i don't appreciate all the awesome holiday accouterments. 

i read this lovely comic by box brown today, and there were parts of it that reminded me of my life.  i also loved anne rice books, read some stuff by sylvia browne in college, and did keg stands.  go check it out!

our christmas tree might go up today!  i'll also be making some holiday cards (hopefully) and turning some of the five million mushrooms i knit this weekend into ornaments.  i have this suspicion i should eschew all this for festivus or something, but what can i say? i'm sucker for a jolly man wearing red who likes to eat cookies. 

we're still knitting a lot of mushrooms

by "we" i mean the boychik is in on it now, as is one of his little friends.  so far the count is 7 'shrooms total, including one stuffed with catnip for lulu.

oy

i really wanted to talk about my awesome book tonight, but it was a strange night and all i ended up doing was drinking a few beers and knitting some mushrooms. 

i don't talk about work a whole ton because a) it's not always real cheerful and b) HIPAA, dudes.  today was a reasonable day at work, followed by a shitty email from a teacher (guess who skipped an IN-CLASS homework assignment?! is she trying to give me an aneurysm?), after which i came home, found some awesome mail, and then went stocking stuffer shopping.  a little retail therapy helps at times.  after that, literally moments after walking in the door, i got a call from my co-worker who said there was an ER case that came in that looked bad.  the hospital called nicely (since we don't work on call; it's one of the weird things about being a contractor) and asked us to come back in (which is super rare), so the patient could get their MRI before being moved to a different,  bigger hospital.  going back into work wasn't a big deal, i live all of five minutes away.  the case was shitty though.  the patient is super sick.  not a little "oh, we can work on this" sick but probably "good luck" sick.  the whole family was there, and it was more than a little heartbreaking.  it made annoying homework issues and home stuff seem downright prosaic and lovely.  after that, i just wanted to come home and hang out with my people and just be here, now.  it's corny, i know it, and i think saying it out loud makes is 500 x cheesier, but i have these moments at work when i realized i need to go home and appreciate everyone here for a few minutes, because right now just doesn't last as long as you want it to.  i wouldn't trade my shittiest days with this family, my family, for anything.  i hope the family i helped tonight are okay.  i hope that things get better for them.

in the meantime i'm going to knit some ridiculous mushrooms and stay up too late.   

fruiting body

i'm currently reading city of saints and madmen, which talks a lot about both squids and mushrooms.  needless to say, i am smitten.  i'll tell you more about how much i love this book tomorrow, i just wanted to show you my tiny mushroom before i went to bed.  i woke D up to show up, but oddly enough, he wasn't as pleased as i am.  jeez, you wake your boyfriend to show him how crafty you are, you would think he would be a little more enthusiastic.  or something.