lately i've been asked by some co-workers what i plan to "do with" my ears on my wedding day. i've been stretching them for about ten years now; i don't think of them as super big (i'm at 9/16th of a inch), but i suppose to someone who doesn't have stretched ears, they might look big. to be honest, i was (am) planning on finding a nice pair of white plugs to match my dress, or perhaps a pretty carved pair. i was surprised when i was asked, though, and i actually didn't know what to say for a second. i mean, i guess i can see why they would ask; maybe they think my mom doesn't approve or that to some members of my or D's family, they might be frowned upon, but at the same time, i don't think anyone would ask a girl who had regular earrings what they "planned on doing" with their ears. i think they would ask, "what kind of earrings do you think you'll wear?" i've also been asked if i'm going to cover up my tattoos with a wrap or make-up, which also kind of surprised me. i think mainly because i live with my tattoos, and i put them there, i don't think of them too much. it never occurred to me to cover them up. they're just there. i'm not ashamed of them, the same way i'm not ashamed of my ears, and it's not like anyone in my family is going to be surprised to see them. i guess some of D's family might not know about the tattoos, but what better time and place for them to learn about them, right?!
don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to get all bullshit on you. i understand that not everyone chooses the particular forms of body modification that i have, and that there are some generational differences to take into account (everyone who's asked has been older), i just think there are nicer ways to ask. it sounds kind of judgemental to ask in a way that makes it sound like the tattoos (or ears) in question are a dirty secret to be hidden. obviously, what i think is pretty might not be what everyone thinks is pretty. my dress doesn't have a lot of sparkly beads on it, i'm not too keen on wearing a veil or piling my hair up into an elaborate coif, the same way i don't spend a lot of time putting on make-up in the morning. i think my ears look nice. i like my tattoos, i think they're pretty and awesome. more than that, i'm happy with who i am, and i'm marrying a man who is also happy with who i am. he thinks i'm cute as hell, he likes the way i look and the goofy dances i do in the kitchen. he's never made fun of my ridiculous big toes (which are indeed, very ridiculous), and if i came home tomorrow with a giant hot dog tattoo on my chest, he'd probably smile and compliment me on my hot buns. i don't think my wedding day is really the day i want to try to pretend to be a pretty pretty princess.