country roads

this will come as no surprise to anyone, but i've been kind of stressed out lately.  excited and happy too, but also anxious and busy.  the wedding is less than a month away, and it feels like we still have a lot to do.  the week after that we have to move four people out of a house we've lived in for years, and the thought of that is so daunting to me.  i hate moving all by myself, i can hardly bring myself to pack things in any kind of neat or orderly way, i always wait until the last minute and throw things in trash bags and boxes, then procrastinate for MONTHS with the unpacking.  you've seen me move enough times to know that's true! only this time, i'm kind of a grown-up, suddenly have kids, and kind of need to set a better example.  it's also a lot more important to get set up easily and comfortably in the new house, because kids need stability and their toothbrushes.  on occasion the thought of all my responsibilities kind of strikes me dumb.

in addition to all the fun stresses of getting married and having a home of our very own, the kid's mom has come back on the scene.  it's been about 8 years since anyone has heard from her, and guess what brought her back this time?  facebook.  (dear facebook, i hate you even more now. congratulations!)  it's a weird and touchy situation all around; with one kid trying to make contact, and one kid not wanting to have anything to do with her.  D isn't thrilled to have to talk about it either, and we're worried that the kids will end up disappointed or hurt.  to be honest, so far the contact that's been made between her and the kids hasn't looked too promising.  i hope i'm wrong.

today was a crazy beautiful day, though.  spring in the pacific northwest has taken forever to show up, and this is the first sunny, warm day we've had in forever.  the kids were out with their friends, D was at work, so i took a nice long drive.  i forgot my MP3 player, but found some tapes in the car, and spent hours driving around listening to jane's addiction.  by the time i got home, i felt considerably more cheerful.  the sun, the sights, the aimless wandering all did me good.  since coming home i've gotten some wedding stuff done, made plans to do more wedding stuff with my mother-in-law on monday, and tidied up the house.  it's amazing what a long stretch of road does for my mood.