Saturday, February 04, 2012

birds and bees and all that jazz

i feel like as far as being a step-parent goes, i do an okay job. the kids and i get along, i take the parenting that i do seriously, we are a happy little family.  i have days, though, where i think "i'm totally supposed to be here" because i realize that i have skills that my husband doesn't. 

case in point; yesterday i came home from work and while D and i were in the kitchen fixing after-work chelada's, he very quietly told me the boychik and his girlfriend had been home alone for a big chunk of the day and that when he came home she was putting her socks on.  he put those words in italics, i swear.  he got even quieter, and said, "jesus christ, i hope they don't make a baby."  i asked him if he'd talked to the boychik about that, if the kid knew how he felt.  now i think D is a boss dad; he never once wavered in his dedication to the kids, he doesn't bitch about the years he spent being a single dad, he didn't jut give this kids to his folks when their mom bailed.  however, when i asked him if he'd talked to the boychik about sex stuff, he positively blanched.  i told him, "wait here. just give me five minutes. i'll be back." 

i'm not going to say those were the best five minutes of my life, or that i was smooth and suave and we had a hallmark moment, but thanks to all the sex-ed teaching i did in college i got through it mostly on auto-pilot.  if there is one thing i know, it's where to get free condoms and birth control.  so we talk. i try to explain that more than anything, i just want him to know he has options and that he's got his whole life ahead of him, and that birth control isn't just his girlfriend's responsibility.  at the same time, i don't really know if they are doing it, or if they've talked about it, or what, but if they are, they need the information and if they aren't, they're going to need it someday, right?  the boychik was cool about the whole thing, aside from some serious blushing he actually said out loud to me, "i know you just want what's best for me."  which is what it all boils down to.  i told him about the laws in WA about plan B, i told him that not having a baby is so much cheaper than having a baby, i told him that as excited as i will be when he has a kid and i get to be a grandma/nana/gangy, i'm hoping that doesn't happen for a while.  we both agreed that babies are awesome, but not right now. 

then i asked my husband to take me out to dinner, and he hugged me and told me i was his hero.  i don't think this is the last talk about s-e-x we'll have, but i think it sets a good precedent.  i also think i grew three new grey hairs last night. 


Sarah Lindahl said...

You rock! How awesome that you were able to step up and do that and how awesome that boychik was so cool about it!

Sharyn said...

I feel like giving you simultaneous hugs and high fives, as awkward as that would be.

My little man is going to be THIRTEEN. We haven't broached the sex talk yet but have had several awkward puberty discussions. Which I'm glad I did *before* his armpit hair came in.