you should meet this kid

even the most hard-hearted spinster aunts meet this kid and think, "ooh, i'll take three." you can't be within a fifteen foot radius of coco-bean and not be glued to his every move. i wanted to take a million more photos of him but that would have required setting him down and getting out a camera, and why would anyone do that when they could be snuggling his sweet cheeks and getting him to smile and wave at you? even asleep this kid is adorable and just radiates happy good times. please meet cohen!

oh-em-gee

dude, i totally went to a casino tonight. a casino where i had beers, watched a totally fun and awesome 80's cover band, and made out with a 21 year old. he was a sweet puppy, but really, really wanted to come home with me. while his kissing skills were admirable, the thought of having to wake up early to take him home wasn't appealing so i left him there. i will admit, however, that making out at random in a dark, smoky corner while a band of dorks plays bon jovi song is infinitely delightful. as shallow as it might sound, that little bit of kissing made me feel prettier than i have in months. it was a good night.

one in the morning!

i am exhausted, grody and ready for bed. camping was awesome. i'm going to miss seeing the boys when i wake up in the morning.

see ya later!

off to go camping tonight after work! i'll be back this weekend!

solitary

in progress, originally uploaded by pinprick.

this was my one day off this week. i am not complaining, per se, but i am explaining in case i am a fussy mess later this week. i got a lot done today; oil change, haircut, toenail polishing and grocery shopping. i have an early day at work tomorrow, and a bachelorette party to attend tomorrow night. the bachelorette in question isn't one of my favorite co-workers, but it's not as though i hate her or anything. she's just one of those girls who happens to be ten years younger than i am but impossibly matronly. i've alway thought of her as a housewife, that's how she acts, this whole wedding thing just confirms it. the cocktails and ridiculousness, though, i can get behind.

long days

work has been exhausting lately. it's more of the same old story; people quitting, people on vacation, people bitching and pissing and moaning instead of, oh, i don't know, doing their job?! it's at a point right now where i think every day of looking for another job, but am so tired the thought of resumes and applications makes me fall straight into a coma. summers in grocery stores are all shitty, summers in delis especially so.

in my free time i'm knitting hats. this is my latest. my roommate will most likely end up with it; she's going to do my hair this weekend and it's the least i can do. plus she really likes it, and i have to admit it turned out cute. i'm working on another one for me, which is selfish seeing as i have a list of christmas knitting to be working on, but i maintain that this hat i'm making is a trial run for a pattern i'm making up and i just need to make sure it works. that and i fell in love with a green and mustard yarn that must be part of my life. the hat will be striped (of course) and cabled (natch). i'm busy getting my yarns and patterns ready for camping, because there is quite literally not much i love more than campfires, marshmallows, beers, friends and knitting. i don't think i'm the only woman out there who buys yarn in preparation for trips out into the wilderness.

i'm also trying, one more time*, to lose a little weight. i mention this not because i plan on diet blogging, but because i find when i don't tell people i have a harder time sticking with it. letting kids at work know means that they don't offer me delicious tastes of what they're working on, and the coffee girl doesn't feel bad when i turn down her free smoothies. i've made a deal with myself: lose X amount of weight by my birthday, reward myself with one big awesome tattoo. i'm not looking to whittle away to nothing, but i'd like to feel a bit more confident in my skin, and want to get my tummy tamed so my boobs look even better. that's reasonable! my plan so far is this; no more snacking at work unless i'm on a break and snacking on something from home, no more cocktails at work (only on my days off) and at least one very reasonable, diet-conscious meal a day. i eat well for breakfast, don't do a lot of sugary drinks, and dinner is usually easy for me, it's the eating at work thing that's totally killing me. a chicken wing here, or some artichoke dip there seems like nothing but adds up. i just need to pay more attention to what i'm eating and i think that should help.

*ha! yes, i said it. of course, when i go on another diet/change of lifestyle kick, i'll say the same thing. i know it!

mission accomplished!

i drank too much wine and had approximately four more cigarettes than was necessary*. i also watched one of my favorite documentaries, ate some of my favorite candy, and realized that i really do love living in this house.

*necessary amount of cigarettes for me? how about zero. i love them, but they do not love me.

go team venture!

it's no big secret i am totally in love with the venture brothers. a friend is having a baby next year and if it's a boy they are thinking of the name brock, not because they watch the show, but because they think it's a good name, and i am HUGELY stoked. i keep my mouth shut about it, though, because if i make it sound too nerdy they won't do it. i know that.

the point is, you can watch doc hammer and jackson publick talking about the show here. check out the extras, it's totally worth it. i have to admit, my crush on brock is waning, only because there are two delicious real-live men who make the show. could doc hammer be any foxier? seriously. and that publick...i'd take five minutes in a closet with him any day. true story.

there is so much to tell you!

but it's all kind of minor, random stuff, so you get to hear about it in list format. ready? here we go:

• i took maggie to her first drive-in movie, at oak harbor's blue fox drive in. i have been to this drive in many, many times. as a teenager, i spent a lot of time necking in the backseat of cars there, as well as drinking disgusting alcoholic concoctions and smoking joints. my night with maggie was much more tame. we saw wall*e, which was very cute, and surprisingly enough, she stayed awake through the whole thing. of course, she was dead to the world seconds after we pulled out of the driveway. i think she had fun; drive-ins are nice for kids because you can talk and wiggle and even get out and run around and no one complains. it was a pretty inexpensive night as well, so i think we'll be going again.
• the next day we hit up the north whidbey lion's club car show (slideshow here!). it was crazy rainy, as in, totally down pouring, so i bundled mag up and we wandered around for a while before packing it in. i didn't get to take many photos, i was busy wrangling the stroller through wet grass and mud, and the light was bad anyhow. maggie liked the cars, though. a little rain didn't ruin it for her at all. she was very pleased, and had a good time looking around.
• it was inventory time last night. we did a weird shift, midnight to 8 a.m. the inventory itself went really well, although i spent the rest of today sleeping and napping and snoozing. truth be told, i pissed today away. i have higher hopes for tomorrow!
  
• my camping trip is coming up, and i'm getting more and more excited! i want to take maggie with me, but i'm feeling like my sister is going to change her mind. that might be okay; i'll be sad not to bring her, but truthfully, she'll probably be easier to take next year. my weekend with her was great, but had some challenging moments. maggie just learned how to pull hair when she is unhappy, and the yelling and pinching is also not so fun. she's just pushing boundaries and testing me, i know, and it didn't take long for her to realize i wasn't going to budge, but we probably all need to get on the same page as far as her discipline goes.
  
• tiernan turns five any second now! i can't believe how big he is, how grown up my little man is getting. i need to find him the perfect present, five is kind of a big deal.
  
• did i mention the camping? jeez, i can hardly wait. we're going here, which means i need to get my ass in gear and get a new swimsuit. i'm excited about being out in the woods for a few days, with my friends, drinking beer and playing with the kids, swimming and goofing off. i bought my pocket farkle months ago, i am ready for this trip.
• i've been working on my knit christmas presents. i know it sounds early, but i'm actually sort of behind. i need to get on with it!
  

tomorrow i plan on cleaning my room, doing laundry and going the library. i know, my life is so exciting, but it should be a fun day.

when allergies ATTACK!!!

dammit, i cannot breathe. i can, however, projectile sneeze, hack loudly, sniffle and swell to the size of a balloon. go me!

i've been at my folks this weekend, and really wanted to stay there today until i had to work tonight at midnight (inventory time!) but getting any sleep there was pretty much impossible. then my allergies kicked in and i said a very hasty "thanks! bye!" and got the hell out of there.

on my way home i bought a four pack of those goofy little wines, some benadryl, a new sleep mask and some ear plugs. i only took one of the allergy pills and drank one bottle of wine, don't worry! but i need something to knock me out for a few hours so i can effectively count cheese and pounds of deli meat and crackers upon crackers upon crackers. wish me luck tonight!

personal responsibility

top off, originally uploaded by pinprick.

a good friend of mine is getting married in a few weeks. there isn't much i wanted this year more than to go back to colorado to be there, but due to financial constraints i won't be able to go. i feel stupendously shitty about this. i've had just about a year to save up for it, and regardless of the fisherman's quick exit i feel like i really should have had the money for it. not having it, missing the wedding, makes me feel like a lousy friend.

what makes me feel worse though, is that at the same time i feel bad about missing the wedding, and about missing seeing my friends tie the knot, i'm also kind of relieved. not being able to go means not having to have awkward conversations about the loser turn my life has taken. it means not having to see other friends i long ago broke-up with, and it means no one has to see my fat ass in person. truth be told, i'm in kind of an unhappy place and don't really feel like letting my enemies (more like frienemies) see that. i've never felt more shallow in my life. wanting to avoid seeing high school friends is so cliche! ugh.

i've been feeling bad about all of this for months now, ever since i realized i wouldn't be able to go to the wedding. i got an email this morning from the bride asking us all to wear a special color so she'll be able to enjoy seeing us all together and i suddenly felt even shittier (which i wasn't sure was possible), and realized that i have no one to blame but myself. my life is the way it is because i've made some poor choices. I picked the wrong guy, i ran up my credit card bills, i took a job that pays shit, i ate too much pizza and beer. i can bitch and piss and moan about it all i want or i can do something about it. while i may not make it to this wedding, i can start working on a kick ass wedding present. i can work out more. i can lay off the cheese when i'm not at work. i can make much better relationship decisions. feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in whiskey and pity isn't that attractive, and with all the things i have done in my life you'd think none of this would seem that daunting. it's just having to take responsibility for my crap-tastic life that is.

smoke 'em if you got 'em

most of you who know me know that there are times when i indulge in smoking cigarettes. however, this year i tried earnestly to cut it out for good, and did a whole six months without so much as a drag on a smoke. it was easy in a lot of ways; i mean, i really like smoking, i like the lighters and the ashtrays and going out for a smoke break at work or with friends at the bar, but never really had much of a nicotine itch. for me, smoking has been primarily a social activity. that's not to say when i was in my hard-core smoking days (ha! at the most i smoked half a pack a day, but usually it was a pack a week!) i didn't crave it, but i always felt like it wasn't so much physical as it was psychological.

however, i have been smoking more since i moved in with a smoker (she smokes about a pack a day), and i'm telling you, if i knew she'd left her smokes out on the back deck i would sneak out there right now for one while everyone else slept. i'm going to buy a pallet of gum at costco and stop with all the smoky goodness. honest!

paging the nanny

oh boy, the amount of noise these kids create right after waking up is amazing. it's a scientific marvel, i'm sure of that. i know part of them does it for the attention (they are the sort of kids who want all attention, regardless of whether it's good or bad), so i just let them go until they peter out. i don't want to start my day as the evil british nanny i know i am on the inside, so i just take my coffee into my room and turn on some cartoons. they're still not great with the concept of personal space and why i need it, but they're getting better. truth be told, they are good kids, but this is a weird situation and it's taking some time for us to all settle into a nice routine.

ridiculous in action

ridiculous in action, originally uploaded by pinprick.

i know they look insane and uncomfortable, but they are oddly appealing. i kind of like how heavy they are, it's a hard to describe feeling. the feeling is slightly tingly and just supremely heavy. in the best possible way. since i first spotted them at hot topic (yes! i am thirty! i shop at hot topic!) i've been coveting them, but was too afraid to find out how much they were. either they'd be crazy expensive and that would make me sad, or they wouldn't be and i would have to have them. the latter won out, and i'm glad. people with normal ears wince when they see them go in, but it really isn't a painful experience. odd, yes. takes some getting to, sure. they're special occasion earrings, you know. beauty hurts!

aunt flo can suck it

my uterus is totally being a bitch, y'all. tonight after work, and many, many ibuprofen, i bought some beer and ice cream and headed out. in the check-out line i joked with the cashier, "who's got her period?! not me!" ugh. i feel bloated and retarded and pissy. i just thought you should know.

the thing is, i've been having my period for many years now (twenty this year, to be exact), but it's only in the past year or so that i've actually had cramps. it's like the one nice thing god did for me; sure i got my period at an ungodly age, but no cramps! jokes on me, i guess.

alright!

i need you to remind me that flirting with a married man is not okay. a huge chunk of me knows this to be the case, but is weak enough to be flattered when he starts and unable to stop the proverbial ball from rolling. i need you to remind me that while i might not be beating the men off with a stick right now, i'm also not so down-trodden that i need to make a stop at adultery town. he's not available, and if he thinks he is, he's more of a loser than i realized. i will NOT hang out with him outside of work. i WILL start taking my lunches at weirdo times. i'll go out to a bar and meet a nice boy to make-out with and cleanse my palette of all this. i'm embarrassed how much of my attention has been absorbed by this torrid little story. gah. i feel like a girl who just got hit on for the first time and is weak enough to believe the hype. ridiculous!

in the meantime, did you know topo chico is pretty much the greatest mixer with bourbon? how did this escape my attention all these years? dear joolie and eric, thanks for introducing me to topo chico. you get a gold star!

bleh

i am not hungover, but i am tired. my roommate, she is hungover. i stopped drinking early, made all my drinks weak as hell, and drank a giant glass of water before bed. it's just that i went to bed like 6 hours ago and i need at least seven hours to feel human.

it's going to be a long day.