happy birthday

today would have been my father's 63rd birthday.  he was a handsome man, a pain in the ass, smart and funny and with a wicked sense of humor.  he liked whiskey and cigarettes and made the best omelettes ever.  he had the skinniest legs i've ever seen on a man, and often wore boots that cost more than my entire wardrobe put together.  he loved dogs, cooed at babied, and would try anything once.  he thought my mother was the hottest woman on earth.  we had a difficult relationship through my teen years, but then we went to college together and i realized he was this person, not just my pop.  while i miss my dad terribly, what i miss more is that awesome guy he was.  tonight i'm going to go have a drink in his honor and be thankful i got to know both guys, the pop he was and the man he was. 

goings on

the cat caught some sort of cold, her first. we all kind of thought something was up for a day or so, then one night i gave her some soft food (her favorite, tuna and whitefish!) and she licked it dutifully once or twice then came back over to me for a cuddle.  no cat refuses fishy goodness, so i knew then she was sickly.  it only lasted one day, but that day we all spoiled her rotten.  got her chair set up with a heating pad, gave lots of pets, cooed over her and carried her around.  the next day she was back to normal, talking up a storm and playing with hair bands and straws all over the house. 

we were all relieved she was okay.  the kids like to give me shit about being a crazy cat lady, but i know they love her as much as i do.  in all honesty, this cat is beyond spoiled. she is adored and coddled and treasured.  we all nap with her, feed her treats, play games with her, talk to her while making breakfast and if she's sitting in our laps when we have to pee, we wait as long as we can. 

birds and bees and all that jazz

i feel like as far as being a step-parent goes, i do an okay job. the kids and i get along, i take the parenting that i do seriously, we are a happy little family.  i have days, though, where i think "i'm totally supposed to be here" because i realize that i have skills that my husband doesn't. 

case in point; yesterday i came home from work and while D and i were in the kitchen fixing after-work chelada's, he very quietly told me the boychik and his girlfriend had been home alone for a big chunk of the day and that when he came home she was putting her socks on.  he put those words in italics, i swear.  he got even quieter, and said, "jesus christ, i hope they don't make a baby."  i asked him if he'd talked to the boychik about that, if the kid knew how he felt.  now i think D is a boss dad; he never once wavered in his dedication to the kids, he doesn't bitch about the years he spent being a single dad, he didn't jut give this kids to his folks when their mom bailed.  however, when i asked him if he'd talked to the boychik about sex stuff, he positively blanched.  i told him, "wait here. just give me five minutes. i'll be back." 

i'm not going to say those were the best five minutes of my life, or that i was smooth and suave and we had a hallmark moment, but thanks to all the sex-ed teaching i did in college i got through it mostly on auto-pilot.  if there is one thing i know, it's where to get free condoms and birth control.  so we talk. i try to explain that more than anything, i just want him to know he has options and that he's got his whole life ahead of him, and that birth control isn't just his girlfriend's responsibility.  at the same time, i don't really know if they are doing it, or if they've talked about it, or what, but if they are, they need the information and if they aren't, they're going to need it someday, right?  the boychik was cool about the whole thing, aside from some serious blushing he actually said out loud to me, "i know you just want what's best for me."  which is what it all boils down to.  i told him about the laws in WA about plan B, i told him that not having a baby is so much cheaper than having a baby, i told him that as excited as i will be when he has a kid and i get to be a grandma/nana/gangy, i'm hoping that doesn't happen for a while.  we both agreed that babies are awesome, but not right now. 

then i asked my husband to take me out to dinner, and he hugged me and told me i was his hero.  i don't think this is the last talk about s-e-x we'll have, but i think it sets a good precedent.  i also think i grew three new grey hairs last night.