I AM IN A VERY BAD MOOD

remember that book about the kid who has the lousy day? somedays i feel all scowly and fussy like that, and today was totally that day. nothing went right, work was retarded, my period showed up totally unannounced (today i would have welcomed a warning cramp or two, thankyouverymuch), i brought my lunch and it was horrible, and to top it all off i've just sworn off beer and other delicious adult beverages because my pants are too damn tight so i can't even tie on a tiny one! normally i would tell my pants to kiss my fat ass and just have the drink (or four) that i want, but i'm seeing my family in two weeks and the last thing i need is mom to give me that look. i know she doesn't mean it, but she puts on her very-concerned-mom-face when she considers my chubby frame. of course i could totally be projecting my shitty mood on her! let's not put it past me.

i can't sell anything. i wore my nice smile and brushed hair all day long, bending over backwards, practically giving the store away today and still nothing. you may not know this about me, but being nice all day to assclowns and jerks can be hard on me. it goes against my nature, which is to stick to myself and assume the worst about everyone (i also really enjoy sitting in judgement and making snide remarks behind stranger's backs because i am seriously enlightened), which makes me miserable on a few levels. one being, how can i be so awful? god, was i raised by rabid wolves? two being, that horrible realization that my skills as a people-person are responsible for paying the rent and jesus christ i'm pretty sure that was a mistake on my part.

i lost my promotion. they've decided to get rid of that department all together in a few stores, and mine is one of them. our main tech is leaving our office, which is going to suck seriously because i like her a lot. we all do. i'm disappointed but not entirely surprised. why do i still work there? i've quit jobs for less, and with a lot less notice, and there's that part of me that wants to tell them to all fuck off and get out of town, and there's that part of me who knows i won't be fired anytime soon (they are too desperate for employees and i know it) and i'm just going to try to make a few more good commission checks and then quit. i'm just sick to death of feeling seriously inadequate and dicked over. i'm tired of smiling and pretending to care and i know it's only to get worse.

goddamn this was one whiny post. look at my pretty new necklace instead, okay. it cheered me up, maybe it will let you forget i'm a huge asshole for a few minutes too!
octo goodness in my favorite color, which lately has been turquoise/celadon green.