working girl

i made a wonky little box for my coasters. my husband liked it but was surprised i felt like they needed to be "corralled."  it's true, i'm not usually a neat freak, but making this little box was a fun experiment.   

i totally got a raise at work this week. which is weird. i mean, i knew that reviews were coming up, and i've been with the company for over 2 1/2 years now; i should know that reviews usually mean at least a tiny bump in pay. and yet, i am always surprised. always.i guess that's a good thing!

i'm putting together stock for the anacortes shipwreck festival! probably not working on that enough. i kind of spend this weekend hanging out around the house, drinking giant beers and watching tv. it was delightful.

this is the first border i'm working on for the round robin quilt.  i am not a huge fan of americana themed things (which is weird, considering how crazy about red i am), but the cool thing about this project is working on stuff you wouldn't ordinarily work on.  i made this friendship braid with the half-hexagon technique, and let me say this: cutting out the damn hexies was a pain in the ass.  next time i make one of these, i'm totally buying a hexie charm pack or something. 

braids and baby and britain

i figured out how to do my hair up in milk maid braids. by "figure out" i mean, of course, youtube. hooray youtube!

the best thing about this hairstyle is that while it keeps my hair up and out of the way, it doesn't tire my scalp out. you know how if you wear a ponytail all day, or a bun, by the end of the day your head is like, "shit man, take this thing DOWN?" for whatever reason, these braids don't do that. i love that.  i love it so much. i've been doing my hair like this a lot lately, and i don't see it slowing down any time soon.  for one thing: summer is coming and when it's hot, i hate my hair. for another thing, i'm definitely going through a i-want-to-cut-it-all-off phase.  up and out of the way is just what the hair doctor ordered.

i have already bought like three different fabrics for my sister's new baby quilt.  this is the one i think is winning, though. those little red riding hoods just kill me. plus, the tiny bees match the fabric my sister picked out with my mom for the quilt mom is going to make her. this will come as a huge surprise, but this is an improvised quilt.  i started with some stacks of wonky squares and filler fabric, and am just going to town. i've been listening to a lot of elliott smith while working on it, because it's one of my and my sister's favorite singers.

guild time!

some ladies where i work have a quilting group.  they call it a quilting guild, although there aren't any dues, so i don't know if it's "official." although, to be frank, i don't care if it is or isn't. it's fun to be around people who like to quilt and are making things.  we meet once a month at work and bring things to show or talk about the latest charity quilt.  that's one of the very cool things about the group; they make a charity quilt or two a year, and either give it away or auction it off and donate the proceeds to a group.  i think the next one they are working on is going to be a quilt that is donated to a hospice house.

i keep saying "they" because i'm not so sure about joining.  on one hand, yay, quilters! on the other hand, some of them are kind of uptight.  i really like my weirdo quilts. i like to work without a pattern. i like modern quilts, and improvising as i go. i like to buy fabric with no idea of what it will or won't become. a few of the ladies take very expensive classes and only make quilts with fabrics from the same line and designer, and are very serious about the art and technique of it.  i think all creative people face this; you have painters who prefer realism, and painters who prefer abstract forms and color.

one of the ladies has a physical reaction to my work. a "back up in my chair" reaction.  she spends all of her time looking at my stuff and saying, "no, no, no, i couldn't do this." which is fine, i get it. abstract isn't her thing, heirlooms are. at the same time, i like suggesting she try to loosen up.  she might like it. the same way i might like doing something more traditional. right now i'm just really into color and weirdness, but that doesn't mean that i think the work she does is any lesser than my own. traditional designs are gorgeous, and her quilts are really very beautiful.

there's a snobbery in quilting, though, that i can't get into. it's so hard for me to want to be a part of this thing and wanting to roll my eyes when someone goes on and on about juried shows.  i know that as women our art is often considered "craft," and that things that are useful are often relegated to less than art status. pottery made by men for no reason is art, a lovely water jug made by a woman who uses it daily is craft, for example. what i want is for the quilts i create to be BOTH. useful and beautiful and art.  abstract and homey and make-do. i want it all. i don't want to have to fight to be considered art, and i don't want to argue about why craft is important.  at the same time, i'm probably not carrying as many years of discrimination and disregard as this lady in my group. her work is considered frivolous and in the way, her partner rolls his eyes at the time and expense it costs her.  i have a family and partner who think what i do is amazing. who are supportive and open to new ideas.  i don't have to justify the fabric i buy or the room i use or the time i spend doing what i refer to as "work." i don't have to carve out time for it, i expect it and am given it. it helps that my kids are older and my husband is a hippie. i know not everyone is as lucky. i also think that as women, we internalize what society tells us. that our desires are too much, that our crafts are too distracting from our work, that the way we express our artistic selves is just a hobby. there isn't a lot of value given to women having alone time, to just create without purpose. to play. to explore and make and try new things.

to which i say, as my mother said before me, fuck that noise. let's make quilts and afghans and paintings and design bathrooms that feel like underwater grottoes and gardens that are home for fairies and gnomes. let's not feel bad about taking time to do what we want. let's be kind to ourselves. let's support other women and not make everything into a goddamn competition. life is short. make good stuff.   

unashamed weirdness

i've been working on incorporating leftover bits of fabric into free-form-ish quilt blocks.  i take the scraps from the bags i'm working on, and sew them together, with various strips and scraps and pretty bits of other things.  it's becoming this giant quilt that i am seriously in love with. the improvisational, wonky, random nature of it really appeals to me. 

i've always felt kind of artistic and happiest when working on a project of some sort. the past few years i've worked really hard on a few things i did not feel confident in: color theory and sewing proficiency.  color theory is such a strange thing. you think to yourself, "for shit's sake, color is color and as kids we know what we like and what matches."  but do you really? what about color values? what about things that don't match? playing with colors is quite possibly the best way to work out whatever color theory means to you. sewing is the best way i know of, currently, for me to work on color.  work with color. to just sew things together; sometimes with great forethought, sometimes with none.  to see what happens and what i like.  what i've learned is this: i really do like red. i really, really, truly, 100% love the color red. it resonates with me. i want to use it in everything. in fact, did you know i only sew with red thread? if you can see it through the white fabric i'm using, even better. i've been doing that for years, and i realized why i do it and why i will never stop.  red is just my thing. like cocktails in mugs and wearing too many black t-shirts, red is my color. red is my spirit animal.

currently i am working on my stock and plotting out craft fairs and shows i want to do this summer and fall.  this means i am going to need to buy a phone that is nicer and can go online, so i can take credit cards and debit cards when i'm out.  i am not, and have never really been, into making pinprick a full time gig. i love it too much to put that kind of pressure on it. i also love sales and schmoozing and selling stuff i make. it gives me space to create for myself, and funding for other projects. it also gives me an ego boost.  i like it when people like what i make. 

i've had to do some tough-love, not-the-fun-parent shit the past few weeks and let me tell you, it gets old fast. i understand now why my parents hated grounding me. it's such a pain in the ass to enforce that shit.  lately i've also really missed having both kids at home. i know the boychik is doing his thing and becoming a mensch and all that, but i wish he were here. the worst part about step-parenting are the years you lose.  i sometimes feel like i'm playing catch-up, trying to make up for lost time.  i know they don't think of it that way, so i should chill out.  (but you know, i'm kind of neurotic. go figure.) 

modern love

my therapist works in downtown mt. vernon, right around the corner from the cutest little quilting shop.  i hadn't been in there in years probably when a few weeks ago i popped in after an exceptionally good session to treat myself.

i normally do not get acknowledged at quilt shops. usually there is a nice looking older lady behind the counter, or at the back of the shop, who gives me a cursory look over and goes back to what they're doing.  i know i wear too much black. i know that i'm too old for ridiculous t-shirts. i know that with my round face i look younger than i am.  it doesn't bug me unless they're rude or outright ignore me if i ask for help.  however, two weeks ago i walked into this quilt shop and the lady behind the counter was awesome! she was friendly and excited and asked me questions about what kind of fabric i like, and we had a great talk.  i felt comfortable. i showed her what i was looking at and she found other stuff i might like. she asked what i was making and i showed her the little patchwork bags.

at one point she said to me, "you look very modern, do you only make modern quilts?" i said no, i like to make all kinds of quilts.  i did admit that modern quilts are pretty fun, though.  it made me giggle later that she called me modern because i think she thought that because i was wearing a lot of black and stripes.

tonight i went back in and she was there and i was so excited to see her! she showed me some new neat things, and then said, "you know, you inspired me to make a modern quilt last week.  i even blogged about it, about how you came in and you seemed so modern and had that hair, and i had to make something."  how fucking nice is that?! like, she made a thing because i made her think of a thing.  i was blown away.  she works mainly on thursdays, and guess what? she's totally got a customer for life now.  quilters unite!!!

my good news this week was that the lucky dumpster, one of my favorite stores ever (you know that, i mention it all the time), is going to sell my bags on consignment!  i sent them an email weeks ago, and didn't hear back and thought, "well, at least i put myself out there." which i'm still kind of proud of.  but i'm also really excited to make a thing that will be sold in a shop that i think is amazing, run by amazing artists, and in a very special part of the skagit valley.  oh, who am i kidding? i'm crazy about all of the valley.  if i can't live on the island, this is where i want to be.

bigger pouches!

this one turned out nicer than the last one because i used my zipper foot.  however, i'll be the first to admit my zipper skills are not the best. still kinda pinchy on one side.  but still, there is something that feels really good about sewing strips together and then making them into something else. 

testing, testing, 1, 2, 3

a couple of weeks ago i applied to be a test quilter for sherri lynn wood's upcoming book, but didn't really think i'd be chosen.  my quilting skills are okay, but i definitely need to work on a few things (like binding) and color theory.  i was suprised to get the email telling me i'd been picked!  super happy surprised.  i can't tell you anything about the quilt pattern i'm working on, until the book is published, but i can admit i used this as a good excuse to go buy some fabric. kona solids are awesome, and i've been wanting to incorporate more solid colors into my work, and they were on sale. in fact, stopping at joann's yesterday was a great idea because it was the last day of this amazing sale that had all quilting stuff 1/2 off.  i got a big hoop for hand quilting, some tailor's chalk, and a fancy thimble, along with this fabric, for much less than i should have.  hooray!

hey look!

 i made this quilt for the newest baby in our family, eugene.  eugene!  i love his name, it reminds me of many great eugene's, like eugene hutz, of gogol bordello fame, and eugene mirman, who is funnier than shit.  let us not also forget eugene, oregon, home to hippies.  dear diary, i don't know why, but i fucking love hippies.  i married one, i love nutritional yeast, and just this week i made my own eczema cream out of organic shea butter.  the baby, by the way, looks amazing in tie-dye.  so we were meant to be!

this was a project i really wanted to be secret, so not mentioning this thing anywhere was torturous.  especially because i was just so fond of it.  i'm glad i worked on all the quilts i did before this one; the pinwheels, clowns and finished asian quilt top got me back in fighting shape, so to speak.  i'm still not great at bindings, which i consider to be a necessary evil, but the rest of this came out so beautifully.  i loved the fabric, i loved just cutting things out and winging it, and the whole time i was thinking of a cute baby boy in illinois with chubby cheeks.  i'm proud of how this turned out, and it made me so happy to think of the new family getting it.  i know, that's mushy, but oh well.  i can't be a nihilist all the time, i guess. 

today i signed the girlchild and i up for a continuing education class at the local community college.  it's a month long, monday night class, basic drawing and sketching.  i needed a refresher, and she's never taken a community ed class.  when i was her age, i was taking a ton of them.  nerdy amanda liked to take classes about short story writing, and subjected a host of patient grown-ups to a lot of anguished prose about my latest crush.  i'm sure i was insufferable.  in any case, she's excited to take a class at college, and hearing her excited! about! a! class! was worth the money it cost.  i'm also looking forward to brushing up my skills. 

two days in

i now have two days of my new position at work under my belt. i realize it's entirely too early to make any grand, sweeping STATEMENTS or DECLARATIONS, but i can tell you this: so far it's going really well.

there are a few reasons for this, one of them being that the new group of people i work with are honestly nice.  there's one woman doing my "on-boarding," which is just the way they describe training.  she's gone over some of the new tools i'll be using (hello microsoft one note!), and the very basics of what i'll be doing.  i spent all day with her yesterday, and a big chunk of today with her, but i also had some alone time practice.  when i have questions, there's two or three people willing and happy to help, every time.  my new boss checks in often, but doesn't hover.  (i miss my old boss, i have to say.  she really is the sweetest woman on earth, and without her i don't think i would have been so prepared and motivated to apply for this job.)  i have a bit of that old-fashioned deer-in-the-headlights feeling often, but i feel good about what i'm bringing to the job.  i've mentioned this before, but this new position puts me in contact with a billion other departments, and it is truly fascinating to see the behind the scene stuff.

and!  i finished this blanket for my nephew calvin.  it's not a real quilt, more of a panel and a quilted backside.  even then, i didn't quilt the whole thing.  my machine really isn't big enough to do much quilting (the fabric and batting gets all smooshed under the "arm" of my machine), and i'm not very good at that part.  the piecing, the putting it all together, i'm good at, but i can only master free-form quilting, and more than anything with calvin's quilt i just wanted to stabilize the batting.   

my sister and i were going through a clown phase when we bought this fabric; we were busy giving everyone clown names (mine is always Mumbles the Clown), and i was doing a lot of clown drawings, and so when we found this fabric it seemed appropriate.  she was 6 months pregnant, and the little dude is almost 9 months, so it only took me a year.  oops!  bad sister.  although in my defense, my nook wasn't really set up for sewing for a while. 

i bought two of the front panels in case i royally messed up the front, and i ended up fucking up the first back i made instead!  of course.  so when i re-did it, and knew it was good, i cut one of the clowns out of the other panel and put him on the back.  he's the bonus clown!  ha. i hope calvin doesn't end up with weird clown phobias like me.  for years i couldn't stand the sight of them. now my interest in them is kind of morbid.  like a kid who learns to love scary movies, you know?  i still won't let one touch me, or be in the same room as one if i can help it (or within a hundred yard), but i can appreciate their weirdness. 

done-zo!

 the quilt is done!  i used a fold-over binding, thanks to this handy tool, which was easier than doing a traditional binding.  however, on a quilt this size, it probably didn't matter.  working with a piece this large in any machine, for any reason, is a pain in the ass.  true story. 

it's big enough to nap under, and nice and long.  i'm happy with the way it came out, and think it's a very solid, functional quilt.  i haven't made a quilt in so long that more than anything, this was a fun project to work on color, piecing, cutting, and basic quilting skills.  it was a super low pressure project too, and i don't know if i just got more patient and/or better at sewing, but i feel like it went together quickly.  the whole time i worked on it i looked forward to coming home from work and pulling it out.

i'm trying hard not to wish the week away, because we all know i really want to be in my new job NOW.  three more days, and then i'll probably be here complaining about how hard and overwhelming everything is.  i'm trying to just relax and go with the flow.  i'm just excited! 

five more days!

then i move to my new cubicle.  whoo!

i had my first meeting with my new team yesterday.  of course my bladder did not cooperate and i had to sneak out at one point to use the restroom.  by "sneak out" i mean, i had to cross in front of the projector so everyone could see me, which was embarrassing.  my bladder, she does not wait, though, and i had entirely too much coffee and tea yesterday.  totally my fault.  i felt sheepish, but my new boss was totally cool about it.

today i'm going to try to finish a quilt.  or two.  it's rainy and awful out, and i have been listening to a lot of pandora lately, which i am loving.  although they think i like the strokes a lot more than i actually do. 

and this is the silly sheet that's going to back the pinwheel quilt.  i remember when i bought these sheets in college, they were a little out of my price range (they were like 25 dollars) but when they went on sale, i snatched them up.  they were so cheerful and ridiculous!  i'm excited that it's going to get a new life as a quilt backing. 

progress report

 check out these cute birdie ornaments!  they are wooden and i love them and maybe some will go on the tree next winter, but for now they are cheering up my nook. 

 not that the nook needs cheering.  man, i love that little room. i love to sit and listen to music and podcasts and make stuff.  also, i'm loving this old school thread holder.  i had a plastic one, one of those giant square boxes that the lid never quite fits right on, and finally i was like, "i hate this thing. i'm going to buy a new one." genius!

this quilt is almost done!  i have some brown i need to sew along the sides to tie it all together, and it might actually be one strip too long.  i'm not sure.  i have a great old sheet to back it with, and after i get the sides on, i'm going to tie it so mom can lend me her fancy binding tool and i can finish it this weekend.  i don't know if i'm just getting more patient or better at sewing, but i have never in my life made progress like this.  these projects feel like they are flying by, and happily so.  this might not be the most modern or stylish quilt, but it makes me so happy to see the little bits of fabric with history.  the triangles of skull fabric anne bought me, the bits from the bunting we made for the wedding, the funny red "wood" fabric i made my first pair of pajama pants out of, it's all there! 

the nook is getting a workout

 this really is the year of my sewing machine.  i've gotten all my pinwheel blocks pressed and in strips, and now i'm adding the brown in between.  the funny thing about this quilt is how random and old-fashioned it is.  i'm going to back it with some old nick and nora sheets i have that don't fit our bed.  they're my old-school pink kitten sheets.  i'm sure D will love having a crazy old quilt around the house! 

 this quilt is one i picked out with my sister before my nephew was born. she really liked the big circus panel, and i couldn't say no.  it's been nicely washed and sitting in the nook forever! today was as a good a day as any to start putting it together.

 of course, i couldn't stay home all day sewing.  i always think that i can, and will, but at some point i need to get out of the house.  D and i went to home depot, where i got this handy pegboard.  i used to have one of these for sewing, and it i like how it makes organizing stuff in a visual, easy to access way.  space in the nook is always at a premium, and this is handy and uses space that would ordinarily be ignored.

 don't touch me!  no, you can, i took the needles out.  this is what i look like as i shuffle in and out of the nook, from the sewing machine to the ironing board.  i have two pincushions i use, but sometimes i move one and then i'm sitting there, with nothing to put my pins in.  except my shirt.  i'm also going to use this space here to talk about how D and i got into a huge fight on friday, and now i feel kind of delicate and sad, and am not getting hugged anyway, so i may as well put pins in my shirt.  fighting with him is my least favorite thing to do, and what bothers me the most is how he pushes all my buttons, makes me cry, and then won't just say he's sorry for hurting my feelings.  i'm not asking for a liver, i just want a "sorry, that was maybe a little mean."  we're still wary around each other, and i can't tell  if he's still being kind of a jerk or if now i'm just sensitive to it.  either way, arguing with your spouse is bullshit.  we can all agree on that. 

the baby of the baby quilt is just simple stripes.  i didn't want to make it too fussy, and to be honest, my mom is such a better quilter/sewer than i am and has already made calvin a few quilts. the kid's going to be plenty warm, for a long time.  thanks to mom's amazing abilities, no one really expects much from me! 

after i get this one done, i have another panel coming in the mail that i'm going to use to make a quilt for my niece's new baby boy.  i found this really pretty, modern design, that i think will make a great blanket.  i'm going to try to be good, though, and finish up these projects first.  cross your fingers!

coasters

well hello, totally adorable way to use up fabric scraps.  i played around with some bits of leftover fabric and my machine this afternoon, and after a few false starts i finally figured out how to make some cute coasters.  i wanted one for work, because i use a big stainless cup that leaves terrible marks all over my desk. also, for catching drips, of course.  i want to make a billion of them now, though, so if you end up getting some for xmas, please pretend to be surprised. 

thinking

i had what they call a "side by side" at work the other day with my boss.  it's just a check in, usually about 30 minutes, where you go over your stats (call time, availability, accuracy, that sort of thing), see if there's anything you need help with, and let you know if anything new/interesting is going on.  they're really informal, and my supervisor is honestly a nice woman.  i feel comfortable talking to her.  we were talking about call volume, and how after the first the year it picks up and how busy we've been lately.  she asked how i was keeping up with everything, if i was feeling overwhelmed, and i was as surprised as her when i said, "honestly, no."  afterward i really started thinking about it, and wondering why with this massive glut of calls, non-stop action, i wasn't as spazzed out as i normally would be.  some days the endless beeping in your ear and not having time to wrap things up or follow up on other things leaves me feeling frazzled and exhausted. 

our busiest day of the year at the call center i work in is the day after president' day.  for real.  no one knows why this is exactly, but it seems to be a perfect storm of factors; early in the year, when people have new plans, the day after a three day weekend, the moon and mars converging or something.  for whatever reason, people in insurance know that this is the day when literally everyone calls in.  i talked to customer service reps at a few other insurance companies and they all said the same thing!  the lights on our phones were red all day long, and there was barely time to type up your notes between them.  it was absolutely crazy. 

normally after a day like that, i got home and have beers and go to bed.  this time, i didn't.  i went to my sewing nook and did some work on that ridiculous stash-busting pinwheel project.  it felt good to get in there, put on some music, and cut and sew and iron everything out. 

thinking about that day i realized that what's different now is what i've been doing outside of work.  yes, we are seriously busy and i should be weeping with the futility of answering the same three questions for hours a day, but i'm not.  i think taking the time to work on something creative, something that requires my full attention, a project with enough fiddly bits and math to make it work on all parts of my brain, has actually affected how i'm doing at work.  i'm more relaxed, but not sluggish.  it's like i can let go of work for a bit, just thinking about colors and patterns and feeling the fabric in my hands.  it's also kind of physical in that you're up and down a lot, and there's a lot of standing to iron everything out.  for a woman who sits down for 8 hours a day, that's awesome.  knitting has a lot of the same satisfaction, but i tend to knit while watching tv which i think kind of cancels out the zoning/creative bit of time.  sewing also produces results that are quicker to see.  i think the variety in my creative time is also helpful, and there will probably come a time when i'm stoked on other kinds of projects.  stopping to think about how what i do at home affects my days at work was eye-opening.  it's so tempting to come home and watch tv and eat dinner and zone out, but that isn't what's good for my brain, i guess.  working it out in different ways didn't make me more tired, it made me less tired.  i'm sure someone out there has written a paper about this, but it never made sense to me until it happened.  so not only is work feeling good, i'm about half way through making a warm, cozy quilt that i can use on days when i do just need to come home and lay down and read!

needle and thread

i haven't done much sewing the past few years.  a pair of curtains here, hemming some pants there, but nothing serious.  working on that long-forgotten quilt has kind of stirred it up for me.  i cut out some squares tonight, cut those into triangles, and am now sewing them back into squares. 

i kind of think my husband isn't going to be thrilled with this new development.  hobbies are better than a lot of habits i could have, i suppose.  the project i'm working on right now too is actually using up a big chunk of my fabric stash too, so there's that.  yeah, that's the point i'm going to stress when he asks what the iron is still doing out...

the longest quilt

 i started this quilt over ten years ago.  well over ten years ago.  i got all the blocks cut own and sewn together in long strips, and even got some of the strips sewn together when i put it in a bag, and forgot all about it. 

 i ran into it again when we moved into the new house.  that was over a year ago.  did i start working on it then?  no, of course not! 

 i think my mom inspired me to pull it out and work on it; last week she mentioned an afghan she had started sometime in the 90's and how she found it in the hall closet and had a friend help her remember the stitch (it's crochet, and we normally knit), and how it was now almost done. 

you can tell this is an early quilt of mine in a few ways, one of them being that at the time i was pretty obsessed with asian fabrics.  most of this was imported, and kind of pricey.  the other thing you can tell is that overall, my sense of color wasn't that great.  i didn't have a good grasp on light and dark color values, and this is all pretty "matchy," although it is still very pretty.  if the fabric you're working with is lovely, there isn't much you can do to distract from that.  i think if i had made it now, it would "pop" a bit more. 

today i pulled it out, ironed the hell out of it, and finished putting it together.  then my stepdaughter and i went to joann's fabrics and picked out a nice, all cotton navy blue to do the border and back with.  it won't end up being a quilt, though.  it's going to be a duvet cover for one of the hundreds of comforters we have.  seriously, when i married D, i brought a ridiculous amount of blankets into a house that had it's own treasure trove.  when this family lounges, we LOUNGE.  this will look great on our downstairs couch, and if i didn't have to wash and dry the fabric before using it, i wouldn't even be writing this post, i'd be busy sewing!  i can't even tell you how much fun i had today sewing.  it felt so good to get that part of my nook cleared out and listen to podcasts and just sew away.  i probably spent a good three hours in my room goofing off, and it was wonderful.  i'll have to do more of that, obviously.