ha ha ha, barf

yesterday i got up, went to the chiropractor where he did a great job cracking my back, and then to work. i got to work, found out that it was actually my day off, goofed around with the kids for a while then went home to watch movies. an hour later i get a call from boss saying there's some sort of phone fair at school that we were supposed to be a part of but that we got the day wrong on and can i come in and pick up some phones and go out there? i grudgingly agree, annoyed that now i won't get a day off until next tuesday (!), but happy for the overtime. i take my knitting with me and get half of a baby-zissou hat done. i chit chat with people about phones and the merits and drawbacks of making most of your christmas presents. i brought a sweatshirt and t with me to the fair, so afterward i go back to work, drop the stuff off, change and make my assistant manager go out for drinks with me. we drink cheap pitchers of beer with her boyfriend, eat chicken strips, and for the first time in my year in colorado a boy tells me i'm pretty and buys me a beer. we decide to go home because we all have to work tomorrow (today), but on my way i run into my boy-roommate and his friends. i stay out later than i thought i should. i smoke too many cigarettes and indulge in jello shots. i get to go to a bar that is ridiculously wonderful and tiny but i decide i LOVE it because it is so perfectly miniature. i get home super late, eat a bagel in bed, realize i will be sleeping in poppy seeds and crumbs, watch a little x-files and sleep. now i have to go to work. jeez.

cabled

finshed M's hat last night! it feels massive to me, but i made boy-roommate try it on, and it's just right for a giant man head. it would have been more delicate and such if i had used the size needles indicated in the pattern, but i could not find a pair of size 8 short circulars in time. i had some knitting to do, so size 9 worked fine!

hatty

i knit a hat this weekend! the pattern is mostly mine, with some help from magazines figuring out the decreases at the brim. i took the basic parts of making the hat from a few different patterns, did some math, and figured it out as i went. i did do a swatch, but ended up ripping out parts a few times anyway. swatches aren't foolproof, that's what i learned, but they do help. i didn't waste a lot of yarn, and in the end the hat is a bit loose, but that's what i was aiming for. honest!
all i really wanted was a hat with earflaps that wasn't too tight. earflaps are important here in colorado because it gets windy and cold ears suck more than anything. not too tight because i hate hats that smoosh my bangs. also, when i saw this yarn on knitpicks (colorway is spumoni!) i knew i had to have it. it's so exactly me. the lady on the phone at knitpicks talked me into buying two hanks, even though this took only one. i'm a little annoyed at the amount of yarn she sold me (i know all about the upsell, and yet i still fell for it), but yesterday i realized i could make some matching mittens with the leftover hank and that made me happy.

i have a few other hats to work on too. baby needs a zissou hat of his own, and T needs a bigger one. i'm making a lovely grey cable-knit one for M, and now J wants one too. i've been thinking about outfitting the roommies, too. hats are great because they only take a night or two, you can afford to use yarns you wouldn't dare make a sweater out of, and the finishing work is a lot less annoying than say, sewing sleeves onto a sweater. (which, you will notice, i still have not managed to do!) hats rule. hooray for almost-instant gratification!

myspace confessional

an ex-boyfriend found me on myspace. i'm sure he'd found me a long time before he sent me a message, after all i'd found him once and was only half-assed looking. (what can i say? about some things i'm morbidly curious!) i'm not sure why he sent me a message, and i'm not sure why i answered. as you all know, i have some pretty strict rules concerning interactions with ex's. the main being, i don't.

i've been accused of being cold and mean when people find out about my no-contact rule, but it's a choice i made a long time ago to simplify my life. that makes me sound like i have a lot of ex's, but that's not true! i just think that if you aren't friends to start with, trying to be friends after a romantic relationship is over just doesn't work that well (if at all) dated. the thing for me is that i just don't like the . boyfriends have a lot of friendly qualities, but aren't exactly friends. not for me. i like my friends and my relationships to be separated: i don't want my boyfriend to be my best friend, i think that's kind of an unfair amount of pressure to put on one person. i don't think this is a bad thing, although i've heard pretty often that i'm horrible and completely unsentimental, which no one could accuse me of if they saw the stacks of letters and notes and detritus i keep from just about every boy i'vedated. i don't like the awkwardness of having to shift gears from one type of relationship to another, and i also don't like having to explain to the new guy who the old guy is and why i want him around. i've also only ever been in one or two serious relationships, and they weren't with guys that i wanted to be friends with.

this is one of those guys. we were fairly serious, we were together longer than i was with anyone else, and he was honestly the first boy i ever seriously thought about marrying. he was a good guy, we had a comfortable little life, and i could look at him and see him fitting into my family. we had lots of other issues, though, and in the end it just wasn't going to work. he wanted to stay friends, and i made it pretty clear that i wasn't interested. he's tried to get in touch with me a few times since then, but i kept all our interaction minimal and superficial, and always ended up asking him to stop, leave me alone. then i get this message from him on myspace and thought, "why not?" maybe it will be good for me to chit chat with him a little, to make him real again, instead of relying on old, fuzzy memories of him. maybe i'm too ridgid, maybe i should try this whole "being friends with ex's" thing that others talk about. also, lately i've felt like i romanticize him, like i have this idea about our relationship that leaves out all the bad and annoying stuff. at the same time, i'm irritated that he keeps ignoring me when i ask him (nicely) to just get the hint and drop it. this time, though, i'm totally responsible for him sending me more messages. if i didn't want to talk to him now i should have just deleted his email. plus! he asked to be my myspace friend and it seemed way too shitty to say no. so now we are fake-internet friends who dated once for years. great! once again, i am a total hypocrite!

the whole thing weirds me out. on one hand, i do kind of miss him and wouldn't mind talking to him a little. on the other hand, we'll never really be friends and so why keep this up? i don't want to know all about his new girlfriend, when i go home to visit i don't want to see him, and while he was a big part of my life for a while, he isn't now. i don't like dwelling on the past, and even though i'm guilty of that more often than i'd like to be, i like to think i'm pretty good at cutting ties and moving on. would this be any easier for me if i had a boyfriend of my own? admittedly, i feel kind of like a loser that he's got a girlfriend and i'm terminally single. at the same time, i don't exactly want a boyfriend of my own, so why am i comparing myself to him? just because i'm single doesn't mean i'm a complete loser, it doesn't mean i'm lonely and pathetic. i might be, but he doesn't know that for sure.

i know i'm over-thinking this. i know the whole thing is retarded and i shouldn't have spent this much time telling you about it. i don't even know why i feel funny about the whole thing. i just do.

ahem

i tried my hardest to tie on a little buzz all weekend long. do you know how rare it is for me to get two days off in a row? and on an actual WEEKEND? super rare, like good junk mail or oddly shaped moles. of course the one night i kind of succeed is the night before the day i have to go back to work.

i am such a jerk! also, i was really glad to get email from you saying that my financial worries are pretty common, and that you think it's going to be okay. hearing that made me feel like less of an ass for freaking out about it.

Secret Boyfriend Saturday (the sunday version!)

this week's secret boyfriend is a bit on the creepy side. you might remember him from a little band known as white zombie, or you might know him from his work in horror movies. either way, my secret boyfriend this week is rob zombie!
honestly, i've had a crush on him every since i saw the video for thunder kiss '65. i loved that video, and even though i normally do not love dreadlocks or long hair on men, with rob it was different. he might not be considered traditionally handsome, but how can you not love a man who loves metal and horror films? he's also extra-smart and funny, and whenever i see him in interviews i spend the next few hours afterward imagining myself as his girlfriend. i think he would be a super-fun boyfriend who would take me to freaky movies, art galleries of rogue taxidermists, and buy me old victorian mourning jewelry.
it's not like he's ugly like that guy. plus, have you seen his movies? they are really great horror films. gory and funny and freaky; they were actually what got me into horror films to start with. up until a few years ago i stayed as far away from horror films as a girl could (i had a bad experience with freddy krueger as a child), but when i saw house of 1000 corpses i changed my mind. maybe i'm just older and wiser (hey! that's fake blood!), or maybe i just grew to enjoy the thrill of being freaked out at home, where i'm actually safe, but whatever it is, lately i totally love a good horror film.
he also has what is quickly becoming a secret boyfriend staple, good arm tattoos. fellow secret boyfriend admirer, spacebeer, also recognizes their inherent hotness and has included some tasty arm tattoos in her editions of secret boyfriend wednesday.

oh, and did i mention he worked as a production assistant on pee-wee's playhouse? because that alone qualifies rob for membership into the secret boyfriend club.

also, next week i promise to post secret boyfriend saturday actually on saturday.

okay, i've calmed down a bit

it's true (super true) that getting a call from your bank is usually very bad news. it's also true that sometimes it's bad news that comes with some good. how many banks have ever called me to say, "hey, did you realize you are super broke and still using your debit card like there's money on it?" never, before today.

i feel like i've dug this stupid big money hole, and now i need to get my shit together and fix it. i spent some time yesterday afternoon talking to just about the cutest and nicest financial planner (i think she's a few years younger than i am), and even though things look like not-so-much fun for the near future, i'm just glad to know i haven't royally fucked myself over. it was actually just really nice to explain to her how it happened, what i'd like to do about it, and what my options are. in short, we are going to try to do some consolidating, and she assured me that she's seen much worse. she was like my little financial therapist!

money is so weird. it totally stresses me out sometimes, but then i stop and think about how it's just money, how a lot of people have more debt than i do, and how someday i'll be dead and i'll never have to balance my checkbook again. things will be okay.

shit shit SHIT

i'm so freaked out right now that i'm typing this from work, which is muy dangeroso since they don't know i have a blog and if they did they would know how i honestly feel about my job, but i got a call from the bank and it is not good.

not good at all. the short of it is that i am seriously FUCKED and will now never, ever in a million years be able to move out of this fucking town because i kind of accidentally sold my soul. shit!

i need to eat more ramen, drink less beer, and dig myself out of this financial hole i'm in. part of this is all my fault, part of it is just never having caught up from the move, and part of it was just sheer ignorance on my part. dammit.

i owe so much money so many places i can never go anywhere or do anything fun ever again.

i am extra tired

whenever i come back from vacation, my boss signs me up for six days of work in a row. this time was no different, so today was my first day all to myself in what felt like years. i made some magic bars, a pot roast (which totally needed 1. a hotter temp and 2. fifteen more minutes of cooking time, but otherwise was pretty okay), and bought a new pair of circular needles. i needed to go to the bank, but totally forget and by the time i remembered i was busy cooking and so now i'm just hoping nothing bounces between right now and tomorrow.

all i really wanted was today all to myself, and i got a lot of that. it was nice. i got some knitting done, and wrestled with the circulars for a while. a quick knitting question: is there a way to make the starting on circulars easier? i feel like i'm mucking it up, or missing something that might make it easier. also, will the nylon part of it soften up? it feels all stiff and weird in my hands. how should i store them? and when i get to the end of a hat, will i need to switch to dpns? if you are not a knitter and this part bored you, too bad! best part of a blog #325 is asking questions about stuff you don't know.

i've been a huge fan of sleeping on the couch lately, which is unfortunate seeing as i've spent $120 total fixing my back and that seems to undo it with a flourish. i just love how sleeping there feels like cheating; when i go through phases when i want don't want to sleep, no matter how tired i am, the couch becomes my friend. if i didn't have roommates i would be living on the couch right now. there's no good reason for my insomnia lately, i just get fussy before bed like a three year old. no, i am not tired. no, i don't want to go to bed. no, leave me alone. no...zzzz...

more of a litter than a family

have you seen or heard about the duggar family? they have sixteen children. yes, sixteen. they're pretty much famous for having a giant brood; they even have their own special on tlc about the house they built to fit them all.

i come from a long line of huge families. on my pop's side, until his generation there wasn't a family with less than eight kids. i have a ridiculous amount of cousins. mom's family was pretty big until they moved to the states, so i don't have quite as many cousins on that side of things. i am not anti-big-family, but the duggars make me uneasy.

it's hard to pinpoint exactly what makes me feel weird about them and at the same time compelled to watch their specials on tv, but the first thing that comes to mind when i think of them is that it's more of a litter than a family. mom seems to be just a breeding machine. a strangely perky, placid, brainwashed machine. having kids and being a mom is a totally worthwhile endeavor, but it seems like they've taken it to a seriously crazy extreme. mom is practically a baby-making-factory, and i can't imagine one set of parents being able to give all those kids any serious amount of attention. at the same time i think about how school teachers usually deal with more than sixteen, and they do it all day. of course, eight hours isn't exactly twenty-four.

their roles in the family also seem to be pretty rigidly gender-based. the girls help with cleaning, cooking, and other typically feminine stuff. the boys do garbage, yard work, that sort of thing. it makes me wonder what kind of chaos might break out if one of the many, many girls said, "hey, i'd rather mow the lawn today than babysit my younger brothers or sisters." and how come none of the girls get to wear a pair of pants? i mean, i'm fairly sure pants don't make you a man. the older children also have quite a lot of work to do, there seems to be very little time for them to hang out. when are they going to get to be angsty teenagers? or write bad poetry, discover morrissey and learn about the world outside their house? instead they have to be stand-in moms and dads. there isn't a whole lot of privacy built into the house either, with everyone sleeping in giant rooms all together. i would have been one seriously dark kid if i grew up in that house. oh wait, my parents are reasonable! i didn't have to! with their new compound all built, there isn't much chance of them getting to interact with the outside world, which is probably the point. education in that house must also be a bit of a joke, when on earth is there time to study? they don't even get to leave the house for school. the only meaningful interaction they have is with their own family and other families like them. will the duggar children know what they might be able to be outside of moms or dads? how could they pay for college? will they even be encouraged to attend college? or just grow up, get out of the house, and start their own mega-families?

i just think is this one example of where bigger might not be better. although i do kind of want to try their tater-tot casserole recipe.

extremely late secret boyfriend saturday!

i'm sorry i'm late with this week's secret boyfriend post. going on vacation always puts me way behind on everything else. like i still haven't unpacked my suitcase, i have a mountain of laundry to do, and boxes of things to send out! sheesh.
this week's secret boyfriend is foreign! with a funny name! and a pretty face! his name is cillian murphy, and he's from ireland. his accent is totally delicious. he's a mighty fine actor too, you may have seen his work being evil in batman begins. he's the handsomest bad guy i've seen in a while. although he's almost too pretty to be a boy, don't you think?
i'm not the only one who thinks so, because some wise casting director made him a transvestite in the film breakfast on pluto. the film itself was okay (i thought the story needed some work) but his work in it was sometimes totally heartbreaking. and he's just so pretty!
he's not always pretty, though. he also kicked some major zombie ass in 28 days later (which is one of my favorite zombie movies), and the part where he goes kind of bat-shit-crazy is hot. covered in blood and fighting back the undead, i wanted to make out with him. it is unusual for me to like a boy with such delicate features; i tend like to my men more on the "sexy ugly" side of things, but with cillian i simply cannot help myself. he's too tasty to not make a secret boyfriend!

i miss this face

baby is as cute as i thought she would be, also funnier and smarter. before you get all "of course you think she's smart, she's your niece," let me point out that she's already upright and cruising at 9 months old. she also does these funny little things that let you know she's paying attention. at our thanksgiving dinner (which we held a day early) she grabbed a napkin, put it up to her nose, and made a nose blowing sound. then she took it, wiped down the table, wiped off the couch, then her face. the whole time she was cracking up and talking to herself and us with her baby jabber, and when she did the nose-blowing routine she nearly fell down she laughed so hard. plus, she let me decorate her face with cereal every morning and chew on her cheeks whenever i wanted. that's all i really need in a baby!

okay, one more post

in just a few hours i get to see this baby, chew on her big cheeks, and feed her illicit treats (like bacon!). i'm pretty excited. look at that face! okay, i'm off. wish me luck getting to the airport and not getting lost...which seems to happen everytime i head there.

Secret Boyfriend Saturday

this week's secret boyfriend is infinitely pale, as well as a million years younger than i am. he knows his way around eyeliner, and is unapologetic in his love for all things black. i probably should have called this week's post, "Secret Boyfriend Saturday: I'm 15 years old." i feel slightly like a lecherous old lady having a crush on a boy younger than i am...wait! he's actually six months older than i am! my love doesn't have to be an embarassing secret! wow, that's nice.
his name is gerard way, and he's in a little band you might have heard of, called my chemical romance. say what you will about their music, you have to admit that's a damn good name for a band. i've had a crush on him for a about a year now, when one of the boys i used to work with at finko's made me a copy of three cheers for sweet revenge. for weeks i listened to it in my car, rocking out, driving back and forth to a job i hated. it made me feel better.
he might be pale, he might be dark, but he's also super cute. look at that smile! he reminds me of a young billy corrigan or jack white. in interviews he's funny and smart, and i seriously enjoy the giant sound of their music. everything is huge and operatic, various themes run through their albums, and even though teen girls everywhere swoon over them (the rest of the band is mighty cute, too), i think they're great. the hipster in me wants to say that they are too popular to like, that i should seek out more indie bands to get my goth-rock fix, but i don't want to.
i even really like his new blonde hair, and just like my comrade spacebeer, i rarely go for blondes. of course, his hair is more platinum than blonde, and with his pale skin and dark eyes he looks more undead than surfer-boy so that helps.

when i listen to a lot of MCR i wear a lot more eye make-up and spend more time doing my hair. i always forget how hot black eye liner is until i see it on a handsome boy. that's weird, i konw, but the first person i ever realized was wearing eye liner (my mom never wore it) was david bowie. you can trace a lot of my preferences in men to my first crush on bowie.

if gerard and i were to make a baby, it would have good hair and a very nice, round head. that's important to me. i like him a little more because of that.

(i'm also going out of town tomorrow for about a week, so this little post will be the last one until i get home. i won't have access to a computer, and more than that, my people don't know about this blog and i want to keep it that way. happy thanksgiving early!)

[crack]

i went to a chiropractor today, kind of on accident. i was bitching and complaining about my back hurting, and about that part of my back that won't crack no matter how i contort, and M said, "call this guy, stop complaining." i called, and they had an appointment this afternoon. throwing caution to the wind i went. it was amazing. i left there with a glow, and when i got back to work everyone asked, "how was it?" i told them i felt just as good as if i'd just gotten home from a really great date because that's exactly how it felt. that doctor cracked my back in placed i didn't think could crack anymore, he took a ton of x-rays, i got to actually see all the parts of my back that are fucked up, and i got a nice rub-down and spent some time on a table that made me wish it was a man i could date. i know i need a few more sessions before i feel 100%, but my back hasn't felt this good in months, maybe years. i think i just needed a good stretch and for someone to help me crack the parts that don't want to crack. a part of me is still fairly suspicious of chiropractors, they seem a little like witch doctors, at the same time i can totally appreciate a profession that spends so much time focusing on making the back feel good.

a few things i learned about my back that have always been suggested but never confirmed:

1. i do indeed have a slight case of scoliosis.
2. one leg is shorter than the other, which makes my hips sort of askew. this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does stiffen up my lower back.
3. the last time i was sure i broke my ass falling down in a huge beer spill at a show, i broke part of my back. there are some vertebrae in my lumbar section that are all mangled and chipped from when i broke them. geez.
4. my head doesn't sit straight on my spine. it's crooked like everything else on me! the chiropractor kept tilting my head and saying, "that's straight," and i kept saying, "no, that's tilted to the right."
   
5. none of these things on their own is particularly serious or awful, but all together they make for an annoying series of back issues. there isn't anything this guy is doing to do to radically change my life, but i feel better after a nice little adjustment, some heating pads, and a rub-down.
   

i might very well be a chiropractic convert, though.

make my face

today i was searching for my little electric flosser, and ran into a whole bunch of things in my make-up bag that i don't use anymore but can't get rid of. i was sitting there and looking through my make-up and reminiscing and then wondering if any other women do the same thing. make-up is a weird thing, we buy it for aesthetic reasons (mostly) but after you use them they become strange emotional talismans. here's what i hold on to and why.
this is a ridiculous eyeshadow; it was completely overpriced, it's a crazy color, and the packaging is fantastic. i admit sometimes i buy certain things because i like the way they look. it's usually a box of tea, or a shampoo at the grocery store with a cool bottle, or a beer because of the label. this, however, was sent to me by my sister for a birthday one year. it actually looks better on than you might think, although i don't wear it often. in fact, i do believe it's been over a year since i last put it on. (that might change tomorrow, though.) my sister is a lot more adventurous when it comes to make-up, and as much as i know she loves me, she's always trying to get me to wear more make-up, take more time doing my hair in the morning, and shaping my eyebrows. this was one of her attempts at girly-ing me up, and i was touched by the amount she spent on this eyeshadow. that's why i keep it.
this little quad of creme eye shadows was a staple in my make-up routine for a whole year in college. i like me in purples, and because it was creamy i could just smudge a little around my eyes and go. i don't wear these at all anymore, but when i see the little case i think about the apartment i lived in, my little walk to school every day, and i can smell the building where i had all of my classes. it was arntzen hall, and it smelled like old chalk, drywall, and wet jackets.
a device that is supposed to help me make herringbone braids in my hair. as much as i try, i cannot do anything but regular old Pocahontas braids down the sides of my face. i can't french braid, i can't herringbone, i can't even do one big braid down the back! this thing did not work, but i can't get rid of it because it holds the possibility of being able to braid my hair in a fancy manner. i keep thinking i'm getting it wrong, that if i can just figure out how to use this then i will always have good hair. i have all this hair, hair i won't cut anymore, but i don't do anything with it. i may as well buy myself a huge pair of breasts then wear only XXL sweatshirts.
this is some solid perfume from the gap, from about 7 years ago. it's not the same color it was when i bought it, it isn't very strong anymore, and i don't wear it. when i bought it i loved that it was a solid, and i carried it with me for touch-ups throughout the day. when i smell it now i remember one of my favorite years on bellingham, when i was living with my best friend from high school downtown, within walking distance of all the bars. we had a huge trampoline where we made out with many boys, i ate a lot of frozen pot stickers that year, and every single morning for breakfast i had a bagel. that year i got my first tattoo and my septum pierced. i always smelled pretty.
i bought this lipgloss in a sephora under the louvre. it's kind of sticky, and i don't wear it often, but dude. i bought it in france, under the museum that's home to the mona lisa. i might never throw this away.
before i went back to glasses for good as a graduate student i wore a lot of eye make-up. well, i wore a lot more than i do now. i favored bright eye pencils that i could smudge around my eyes (i only use shadows i can smudge because my look is, at best, haphazard, and at some point i will rub my eyes and smudge it anyway), and i loved the blue one because it was just so dumb. the green was cute, and the yellow is more gold when it goes on. honestly though, even though i don't wear these very often anymore, they accurately reflect my entire attitude toward fashion and make-up: the funnier, the better. semi-retarded and sort-of out of date? then i'll take two, please.

oh, baby!

henry showed up today! i have to admit, i was totally rooting for tiernan to get a sister, but now that henry is here i'm super happy. he's a beautiful baby, even if he is a boy. (hee hee!) although in all honesty, even if it is the corniest thing on earth, the fact that he's here and healthy and happy means more to me than being able to buy more dresses. with maggie and kali, we have enough girl babies! i can't wait to see him and chew on his cheeks and kiss him over and over again. man, i miss babies. why are all my babies so far away? i've got to sell my people on colorado so they'll all just come out here...being an auntie without nieces and nephews is not as fun as being as auntie who gets to nibble on baby on the weekends!

bloodsuckers need love too

i've mentioned before that i love my cable television because it has a nifty feature that allows me to watch movies for free, when i want to watch them. it is called on demand and it is my best friend. just recently they added fearnet on demand, which is nothing but scary movies. of course, nothing super scary, but lots of good things nonetheless. tonight i finally watched bram stoker's dracula, which i would never waste my netflix queue on, but have always been interested in. i was excited to find that tom waits was in it, was totally bored by keanu, annoyed by anthony hopkins, and in the end rooted for mina and drac to just live happily, deadly ever after. is that so much to ask for? god, just because they were evil, blood-sucking, and undead doesn't mean they don't deserve a little happy. i suppose that might just be the goth in me talking, but i'd like to see vampires run off together into the sunset.

bleh

the roomies are sick! i am loading up on vitamins because i do not want to get sick myself. i do not want to sneeze a lot, feel all tired, loaf around the house, or generally feel yucky. i am not in the mood!

this weekend was grand mal kind of shitty, and none of it i can talk about! that's annoying, but probably what makes it more annoying is mentioning it in cryptic tones on my blog. when people say to me, "god this weekend was terrible and i don't want to talk about it" i always say "now you have to! you can't say that sort of thing without explaining!" trust me, if i could tell you i would. it's just not my story to tell, and my angst comes mainly from not being able to do anything about it. i am protective of my people, and it's awful to not be able to keep them all safe and cozy at all times.

if i could, i'd wrap you all in down blankets and tuck you in with cups of hot tea and cookies.

also, tell tiernan's new brother or sister to hurry up! god, i am sick to death of waiting to meet this new member of the family. first it's waiting for baby to born, then it's waiting to teach baby dirty words, then waiting until it has enough teeth to chew bacon...i have things to do baby, hurry up and get here already! the sooner you show up, the sooner i can start corrupting you. (i mean that in the best possible way!)

Secret Boyfriend Saturday

this week's secret boyfriend comes to us straight from some creepy logging town in the pacific northwest. well, sort of.

it's kyle maclachlan, who's known best for his work with mr. david lynch on the tv show twin peaks. he was the eerily straight-laced fbi agent dale cooper. i'd like to say right here and now that i think mulder from the x-files owes a lot to agent cooper. (which is also one fbi sandwich i would love to be a part of.) amidst all the bizzarro things going on in the show, agent cooper was totally crushable. i think that show is also responsible for my love of the quirky guy.

kyle's worked with david lynch a few times, including on the movies blue velvet and dune. it's true dune is about five hours too long, but it's been one of my favorite sci-fi movies since i was a kid. it used to come on the sunday television matinee all the time, and it was just recently i saw the whole damn thing. i can see why they cut it down to only two hours. of course, dune also has the distinction of having one very red hot sting in it. how can you not love paul muad'dib?

maybe it's the chin, the good thick hair, the way he stands up super-straight. kyle is not one of those actor guys who ever shows up someplace wrinkly and unshaven, and i like that in a man. a little scruff on the weekends is one thing, but if you are a movie star, i kind of like it when you act like one.

i even liked his role in the so-bad-it's-good showgirls. i felt bad for him while nomi did that rabid dolphin thing to him in the pool, but other than that i found him delicious.


diane, take a note: kyle maclachlan is totally hot and is this week's very special secret boyfriend.