i'm a dick!

i haven't gone out of my way to talk to my sister since the whole "if my daughter isn't in your wedding you're dead to me" debacle. i haven't been a jerk when i've seen her (in fact, i think i've been quite nice!) but i don't call her and i try to just stay out of her way. my mother has noticed this, although aside from the initial "what the fuck?!" talk i had with her i haven't mentioned anything, but i think she's trying to use my birthday to make things better. she's an awesome mom, and i understand and support her, but honestly, i don't really want to play nice with my sister. she can make her deliver my birthday presents or not; i don't care. i don't much care for my birthday to begin with, not getting presents, and not getting them from my asshole sister, doesn't bother me.

it's not like i'm mad about the specifics anymore, but i feel like every time something like this happens i have to be the "good" sister, the one to smooth things over and make everything okay for everyone. i'm just kind of tired of that. she did something shitty, i told her she did something shitty, and i'm okay with us not being "besties" until she does something like (gasp!) apologize. i don't care if everyone worries if we're getting along, because honestly, when we're with mom, i can be as nice as i need to be. i love my niece, and i want to keep seeing her. family get-togethers should be fun and happy and nice for everyone involved, and i will always do my part to make sure there's no drama there. in my everyday, family life though, i'm okay with not talking to her a lot or going out of my way to hang out with my sister. she's made it clear time and time again that her priority is her, and that's fine. it just might not always be my priority.

becoming a pseudo-step-mom, losing my pop, and getting engaged this year definitely changed the way i see things. i'll always love my sister, and i'll always have a kidney for her or a shoulder to cry on, but i'm a lot less likely to be walked all over. i think that's okay. my birthday is going to be a fun, relaxed, low-key event this year; we're going to go see some dumb movie and eat egg rolls for dinner, and that sounds impossibly rad to me. if i get some presents, yay! if not, yay! if my sister wants to act like a grown-up and call me instead of sending some email, then awesome! if not, that's her thing. i'm sick of being forgiving. i'm sick of being the doormat. honestly? i think that's pretty healthy. although if you'll notice, i'm not so above all of this to not want to rant about it in public. :-) what can i say? this is all still new to me.

dinner tonight was awesome

easiest recipe for pork potstickers EVER:

2 cups ground pork (dave ground mine, it was a rough grind)
2 cups finely chopped cabbage (little pieces!)
2 green onions, also finely chopped
1 tsp minced/grated ginger (i used a piece about 3/4 of an inch long)
2 tbs soy sauce
1/4 to 1/2 tsp extra dark soy (i like the mushroom one!)*
1/4 tsp white pepper (or black if that's what you have)
1 tsp sesame oil

mix it up, pack into wrappers, and steam fry them. to do that, put a skillet with a lid on over med. high heat. add a tsp or two of neutral oil to the bottom; add potstickers then about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of water (how much depends on how big your skillet is!), cover it and don't open until they're done, about 7-9 mins. they should be browned on the bottom and soft on top. also, your meat should be cooked through, but you already knew that. you'll have to add more oil to your pan on occasion as you cook them. this is a version of this recipe, but i add more onion and am not picky about what kind of cabbage i use. i am also not good at making the dough, and instead just buy mine. hsiao-ching chou's recipes are always steller, and while she worked for the seattle pi i'd pretty much try anything she recommended. i miss her column, it was my favorite thing about the wednesday food section.

*if you don't have this, no big deal. i buy it at the asian market, it has a deeper, more concentrated flavor than regular soy, and adds a little punch to just about anything you put regular soy in. it's too dark to use as a straight substitute for soy in most recipes, though. add a little and you can always add more, add too much and dinner is ruined.

good morning, sunshine

sure, it's the middle of the afternoon now, but i can't help that i still feel like morning. i think it's the cup of coffee in my hand and the fact that it hasn't brightened up all day. while i love the fall, and the leaves changing color and the chill that makes a day spent inside seem totally okay, i admit i could do without it getting darker. that's what made fall in colorado so awesome; cool enough to start hibernating, but not dark and dour outside.

this head cold i caught from the kids is making me miserable. it went right into my sinuses first, causing terrible head pain, and now it's in my lungs. awesome! it burns when i breathe. it hurts when i cough. i'm giving myself shaken baby syndrome with the coughing. at the moment, my dear man is out getting some goldenseal to help with the expectoration. i'm certain that everyone wanted to hear about my mucous today, sorry! i just feel lousy, and we all know i am a whiny baby when i don't feel good.

i felt bad enough to take two days off work (!!!), meaning i'm on day four of staying at home. it's like a vacation, albeit snottier. i wish i felt better and could do something more productive than sit on the couch whining or napping. although i did finish a book, introduce the boychild to his first zombie movie, watch a goth opera with him, carve pumpkins, and make a few quiches. i guess i haven't been entirely useless.

i'm also all about putting glitter on various gourds. good times. i suppose i should go take a shower or at least brush my teeth, and pretend to be a grown-up.

adios, twinkie

it seems every time a person turns around there's some new apocalypse ready to take down humanity (like the year 2000, bird flu, solar eclipses, zombies rising), and right now people seemed freaked out by swine flu and the year 2012. granted, swine flu is about as bad as the "regular" flu, and even the mayans don't buy the year 2012 being the end of the world, but planning for disaster is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. we all know my love of sites that let you prepare for emergency by storing big barrels of raw red wheat and MRE's, and how i try to have a few cans of spam and bottles of water around just in case. with that in mind, i reveal to you the foods i will miss when society crumbles:

• crunchy cheetos. not the puffed ones, those suck. how can two foods supposedly be from the same family and be so different? the puffy cheeto is an abomination.
• snickers bars. i don't often eat a whole candy bar, but when i do, i like a snickers bar.
• marzipan chocolate bars, like the ritter sport. sure, i said i don't eat a lot of candy bars, then listed two back to back. it's just thinking about snickers bars made me think of those dark chocolate squares of almondy goodness that are ritters! so sue me.
• moons over my hammy, from denny's. anyone can put ham and scrambled egg and processed cheese on toast, sure, but no one does it like denny's.
• slushies. specifically red ones.
• red vines! oh my burned-out-shell-of-a-city/kingdom for a tub of red vines.
• microwave popcorn or jiffy pop. fake butter is somehow more buttery when it's on popcorn. how does that work?
• doritos. more artificial cheesey goodness. let's throw in frito's while we're here, specifically the chili cheese ones. they make your breath smell bad, but they are delightful.
• pretty much any kind of chicken strip or nugget you get from a fast-food joint or grocery store. if you have to eat white meat from a chicken, it should be deep fried, crunchy on the outside and dip-able.
• hot wings!!!! when the world runs out of frank's hot sauce, it will be a dark day for humanity.
• ranch dressing. i'm sure you can make it yourself, but it's not the same. you know it, i know it, hidden valley makes millions based on that fact alone.

what will you miss?

7 layer hair dip

i got a haircut this weekend. everyone at work was getting these cute little bobs, or new highlights, or bangs, and i realized the other day that my hair looked like it came out of 1975. which would be all fine and dandy if i came from 1975 too, but alas, i'm a bit younger than that. a few weeks ago, after school started, i took the girlchild to a hair place that i had a coupon for, not expecting much more than for someone to things up, but the girl who did the haircut was actually great. she gave M these adorable layers, and even when she doesn't brush it, her hair looks cute. lucky for me, that same hairdresser was in this weekend and she not only gave me some layers, but she blew it out and used a straightener on it. it's not too short, it feels all thick and bouncy, and for two days i had the hottest hair on earth. then i washed it.

it's still super cute, don't get me wrong, but at heart i am a lazy girl. i think about buying a hair straightener, i even look up inexpensive ceramic plated ones and sprays to protect my hair against the heat. this week i've been using hair product when i get out of the shower and admiring how my hair doesn't just lay there anymore, but i know soon i'll be back to only combing it once a day after my shower and pinning it back when it annoys me. this week, though, i continue to be cuter than normal, and who knows? maybe this time, i'll get serious about my hair.

(more good news: the hairdresser said she didn't see any lines from the black dye, or any root grow-out! i thought after i stopped using the black dye in may that at some point i would have to have it stripped and taken back to my natural color, but it turns out my natural color is still really close to black and i only have four or five grey hair which are easily pluckable. hooray!)

no huffing the cat!

i don't know how cats do it, but when it's fall it's like they suck all that awesome leaves-turning-colors, crisp-air, bright-moonlit-night smell right in their fur. lulu comes in from being out at night and i just want to burrow into her neck and huff that amazing autumn smell that clings to her. i tried to get D to take a smell, "c'mon! you'll love it!" but he looked at me like maybe i was still a *tiny* bit crazy-cat-lady. he doesn't know what he's missing. cat ladies, you know what i mean.

today work was impossibly dull. i'll regret saying that out loud tomorrow, when i'm sure it will be a mad house. we watched observe and report tonight, and i have to say, it was a lot darker and less ha-ha funny than you might expect from the trailer, but i enjoyed it. it was terrible and wrong and dry and funny sometimes in that oh-my-god-people-are-really-like-that kind of way. i might have to watch it again. i made a butternut squash soup with roasted, carmelized onions, and it was really good. evidently no one was stoked about it because they all dislike squash soup, but everyone tried it and oddly enough, the all liked it too. i'm a dorky happy homemaker at times, and i admit that made me happy. i need to go hang some scrubs up so i have something to wear tomorrow to work, and i think it's time for a teeth brush and bed. damn, i'm exciting.

stare deep into my eyes

yesterday D, the girlchild and me went out to various farms around the skagit valley on the family farm tour. it was awesome. we had a bright sunny day, a few places we wanted to see, but no real agenda. the drive itself would have been worth it, but we also got to see a ton of animals, working farms, and take a hayride. i can't think of a better way to use a sunday.

mom called from the road last night and so far she's having fun. this is the first time she's made the trip on her own, and while i'm sure sometimes it gets boring to drive by yourself, she brought some books on CD and likes being able to take her time. or not, as she's mentioned frequently that she loves that the speed limit in parts of montana is 75.

i think it's time for coffee and a shower, and to try to make the house look presentable. we'll see how clean things get, though, i might wait for kids to come home and help!

we have a reservation

my mom is on her way to the rez today. she's going to visit my aunties and my pop's cousins. about a year ago she and my dad went back together, and had a good time. i think she misses my dad enough to want to just be near his people. i wish i could have gone with her, but i just can't take two weeks off work. it would be nice to be with my pop's family, my family, to hear the stories about him and spend some time with people who loved him as much as i did. i hope mom has a good time, and calls me a lot from the road.

blogroll, please

a short list of blogs that have been rocking my world lately:

• a journey round my skull; billed as "unhealthy book fetishism," i can't get enough of the amazing graphic design displayed. illustrations from old books, covers, art and literature, i am smitten. it's visually appealing and stimulating, and gives me a million ideas.
  
• my cardboard life; a comic i recently discovered that is sweet, silly, and lovely. i like that the author actually uses cardboard to create colin. it's brilliant.
• craft leftovers; tiny, awesome projects that you can either make on their own, or clever uses for the little bits of yarn/fabric/stuff you have leftover from other projects. waste not, want not, and use it all up. i ordered a zine just the other day, and have been anxiously watching my mailbox for it's arrival!
  

DAMMIT

i had a moderately crappy day at work. not entirely shitty, just annoying and i had to work with someone i have never worked with before and hope to never work with again. granted, my job is not entirely essential: i am support staff, i make work pleasant for my tech, and make sure that the patients are comfortable. i clean and tidy and enter information into databases. the tech i worked with today was such a snide little bitch. she talked over me when the patients were around, she was dismissive and condescending, and she did it all with a fake plastic smile plastered to her big, dumb, face. spending the day with her gave me heartburn. a special heartburn that can only be cured with red wine.

my period might be imminent.

the kids are sickly, so they spent the day at home today. well, one of them was legitimately sick, one might have been stretching it. either way, both got lots of time on the couch, and D picked up juice and pineapples for a punch of vitamin C. they both go back to school tomorrow, although i kind of think one of them should actually stay home. we'll see how it works out in the morning.

i have discovered that i love the band mastodon. it's metal and gorgeous and i don't know what it is about the fall that makes hard rock guitars sound so great. i read about them in spin magazine, and checked them out, and they are awesomely heavy. i wish i knew more kids into metal, i think i would have discovered them sooner. hooray for heavy metal!

(i was trying to blog while watching community, and i just can't. A) it's too funny, and B) joel mcHale is too delicious to not watch. i know, i called and cancelled the cable tv, but comcast are idiots and we still have it. don't get too excited, they charge me more now for the phone since we're not "bundled" so i'm not actually getting anything over on them. except we still get to watch tv while pretending to be upset that it's still on.)

bored* to tears

a few work related anecdotes for your amusement!

• the other day i had a gentleman come in wearing flip flops. normally this would be no big deal, as it has been unseasonably warm and flip flops make sense, however, this man had talons instead of toenails. you think i'm joking, but if i'm exaggerating, it's by a millimeter at most. his toes were adorned with the thickest, yellowest, crustiest things i've ever seen. his feet were also painfully dirty and grass-stained, and wouldn't you know it! the machine we use to power-inject contrast dye wasn't working and i had to stand near his feet to inject him by hand. i almost died. knowing they were right there, close enough to touch, freaked me out. i told my coworker that he owed me big time for that.
• yesterday i got to hold a self-professed psychic and obsessive-compulsive's extremely sweaty hand for the duration of her scan. there were a few things about that situation that were all wrong, the first one being that this woman told us all she was psychic and the world was going to end pretty soon. honestly, i don't buy end-of-days stories from anyone who isn't walking the talk. if you seriously and earnestly believe the world is going to come to a fiery end any day now, then wouldn't you act accordingly? i want to see you building a bomb shelter, throwing wild parties, taking that trip you always wanted, or digging a hole in the backyard to lie down in and wait; if you're just talking about it while in a hospital waiting room, with your raffia purse stuffed with water bottles, romance novels and tissues on your way to the grocery store via short medical exam, i'm not going to buy what you're selling. i want to see hysteria, baby, pure unbridled freaking-the-fuck out.
• she also didn't ask me to hold her hand, she demanded it. i'm all for giving out comfort, trust me, but when you natter on endlessly about how i don't seem calm enough for you, and start shrieking, "where's your hand?" the minute you lie down on the exam table, i won't be holding your hand with a smile. sorry. i prefer to be treated like a person, not a prop.
• last week i had a teen boy who was almost 300 pounds come in after falling and hurting himself at football practice. this week i had another football player who was hurt after a 300 lb boy fell on him. coincidence?
• i've seen a lot of my ex-coworkers from haggen this month as well. they all left the store as well, and guess what? not one of us will shop there. good job, haggen! way to alienate your employees so much that they quit, and then boycott your store!
• my coworker bought me a tiny vacuum this week. i got all excited and he dryly remarked, "my wife doesn't get that excited when i buy her that sort of thing. maybe i should stop saying 'merry christmas' and 'happy birthday' when i give her home appliances." yes, maybe that's a plan.

*the "tube" in an MRI machine is known as the "bore." i prefer to call it what it is; a tube, but my bossman looks down on that!

knitting is awesome

start of mayfair blanket, originally uploaded by pinprick.

i spent most of the weekend dorking around with the kids playing video games and knitting. yesterday afternoon i felt a *teensy* guilty for all the lounging, but then i made FOUR homemade pizzas and felt like my mom-ish duties had been fulfilled. (why four? because they're small to medium sized and the boychild can eat one by himself.) i found this great pattern for a lap blanket, which is working up so prettily. i admit i'm kind of smitten with it, and want to make another for myself, either in bright blue or happy red. the one i'm working on now is a christmas present, and aside from one or two wonky spots that had to be reworked, the pattern is easy enough to follow but interesting enough not to be boring.

mom called me this weekend and asked me to come with her to pick out pop's headstone. i know it seems crazy we don't have one yet, but there it is. we got one for free from the military, but it was more of a bronze plaque to be embedded on a stone; there wasn't any room for mom's name on it, and she decided after she got it that she didn't want it. it's just not quite right. one regret my father always had was that his folks weren't able to be buried next to each other (they aren't even in the same state), and he was adamant that he and mom be together. they'll actually share a plot, since mom's plan is cremation and buying two spots is a bit ridiculous, especially given that she won't take up much space (yuk yuk). i'm glad to help, but not looking forward to it. i wish i could make this better/easier for her, and just being around doesn't feel like enough. i know it will get better, and some days are easier than others, but it's just not the same without him.

pew! pew!

lately i can't get enough of video games. specifically, i've been playing a lot of on-line tetris and using the kid's DSs to play some Mario games. (which ones i'm not sure! but they certainly are fun!) i love the DS; it's small, easy to use, and you can play with a friend. i'd like to get one of my own, but the kids can't use them at school, which is when i'm at work, so it makes more sense for us all to just share. they let me, because i buy them games, and because i am so incredibly awesome. my latest purchase is ninjatown, which i've heard is a lot of fun (it just shipped out today). i'd also like to get scribblenauts, and some scrabble, but i'm curious if anyone has anything else they'd recommend. i like my games to be cute, nerdy, and not terribly shooty. i've been trying to talk my co-worker into getting one too so we can get paid to play video games all day, but while people are in the bore, he actually has to work.

we're all settling nicely into a fall routine. the other day we went over to D's parent's house; it was his mom's birthday and i had made her some currant scones. we had a super nice visit, and brought home a bucket of tiny cherry tomatoes which are honestly named "mexican midgets" because A) they're from mexico and B) they're super tiny. they're also seriously sweet and delicious. i think they sent us home with 2 lbs, and we have less than a quart left. D's dad also offered to butcher a pig for us if we wanted to do a whole-pig roast for the wedding reception. can you see why i love this family? not only does he not think it's weird to have a big, old-fashioned barbeque pig roast for a reception, but he's all about getting the pig ready for us. what a man. last week his dad also called before he went out to the county fair, to ask me what my wedding colors might be, because he was going to pick up new dahlia bulbs and wanted to make sure he got what i liked. he's sweet like his boy, which is no wonder why i want to join their family. it's touching how excited his parents are; both have already put a lot of thought into our reception, and have offered to do all sort of things to help out. it might be corny, but it makes me happy.

i also started a new yoga class. i admit that last night i did not want to go; i'd had a crazy long day at work, and all i really wanted was a grilled cheese sandwich and to plop myself down on the couch. i was glad i went, though, and feel pretty good about this class. it's terribly basic, which is just what i needed since i haven't taken a yoga class in years. the teacher is awesome and relaxed and not too hippy, and i leave the classes feeling all floaty and worked over but strong. it's amazing how what amounts to a series of stretches makes you feel so good. i picked up some yoga videos at the library as well, i may trying doing it more than once a week. we'll see! it would be nice to be in better shape, and i admit sometimes seeing all these sick folks i get more than a little nervous about my own health. i know what i see is disproportionate (not a lot of healthy people hang out at hospitals, after all) but it is eye opening. what i've learned so far; vegetables are awesome, if you think you've had a stroke, don't wait a week to go to the hospital, keep your bones in good shape, and smoking and suntanning really aren't good for you. if you want to be wrinkly and wizened and fragile in your 60's, go right ahead, but if not, take my advice!

odds and ends and odds

i remember back in the day when i used to blog pretty much all day, every day. sure, i worked at a desk as a receptionist(a), and had more time and thought i was funnier, but sometimes i go to blog and realize it's been over a week which would have just mortified me back in the day. just saying.

work has been supremely depressing lately. lots of the C word, lots of people at the end of their lives, lots of sadness and crying and claustrophobia. there are times when i think cancer, especially, hits me hard now because of my father's passing; but i remember that even when my dad was alive, cancer patients were hard for me. not unbearable, don't mistunderstand, but it hits me in an especially tender spot. i think of the families involved, the oncology nurses, spouses and children and what they're going through. i think of the web of people involved in a single cancer case, how they're all tied together and what they might be going through. it makes me remember how it was when i went through it, how it was when dad was sick, and makes me more mindful of being kind.

there are times when i'm angry because my dad is gone and other people are recovering from cancer, or men older than my father who are far sicker come in and get better and go home. i'm not angry at them, but i feel acutely cheated. i try to remind myself that i'm being petty, which helps, but i can't help feeling like he should be here, like he shouldn't have missed my wedding or getting to know D and the kids, and also like i should be getting over this, i shouldn't hurt like this anymore and i should learn to be a grown-up without the safety net of parents. it's bad enough sometimes feeling bad, but feeling bad about feeling bad is retarded. even i know this. i definitely have days where i wish i had a mindless job, where i just went in and worked without thinking about any of this, without being reminded of it almost daily; but at the same time i like my job, and think no matter what, i'd probably be thinking about a lot of this stuff anyhow.

in lighter news, the kids are back in school! which is fantastic. we were all getting a bit sick of bumping into each other every five minutes, and as much as the kids hate to admit it, i think they were ready to see their friends and get back into some sort of routine. having them home all summer was nice, and gave me a tiny glimpse of what it might be like to be a stay-at-home mom. my kids aren't mine, and they're older, but even i can see how exhausting it could be! we also shut off the cable tv this week; our summer experiment is over, and i can honestly say that we're better off without it. with all the tv you can watch on dvd or the internet, i don't think we'll be missing out on much. sure, i'll miss coming home and watching some mindless sitcom or cartoon whenever i feel like it, but we were abusing it and not doing much else. i think we were all a lot more fun when we didn't have it, and not hearing the kids fight about who's watching what and when is a good enough reason to get rid of it. i know it sounds drastic and extreme, and i promise to never be one of those people who haughtily declares, "oh, i wouldn't know about that because we don't have tv," because you know D and i will sneak out on occasion to watch UFC fights at bars. tv is great, it's just not for us.

aside from all that, boring sad work stuff, kids in school and no more tv, there isn't much else to report. i change my mind every other day about what kind of wedding we should have, what our colors should be, and spend a lot of time trying to convince everyone that we should all wear top hats in the ceremony. one fact is certain, though, i will have a new, fancy pair of red shoes to wear. hopefully a tiny top hat as well, but that remains to be seen!

fresh kimchi

fresh kimchi, originally uploaded by pinprick.

guess who's got some chili coated cabbage fermenting in her kitchen as we speak? that's right, ME. i didn't make it, don't get too excited; i helped D a little, but he did all the work. it's my job to take the pretty, pretty pictures and hand him knives or bowls or buckets. i'm like the production assistant on a cooking show. we used a recipe that came in his Yoga magazine; it was nice and basic, and didn't make a crazy amount. not that we can't eat gallons of it (we're fairly certain we can) but because this is a test run and if it works well, we might tweak it before we make it again (make it spicier or let it ferment longer, or shorter). initial tasting were, well, tasty, and i bet after a few days of countertop living it's going to be great. man, i love kimchi. i can't even tell you how much i love that i met a man who loves it too, and is stoked about lactic fermentation and pickling.

the kids start school today! they were both in a great mood this morning, and excited about going. i think they missed their friends, and as much as we all love each other, the house was feeling a bit small the past few weeks. i know that M isn't too excited about her teacher this year, but i met him and he was rad. he's not the "fun" one, but i told her that it's usually not the fun ones that are really awesome. i reminded her nicely this morning that it's his first day too, so maybe she could reserve judgement just a bit longer. she thought that was fair.

my sister is being terrible about the wedding and that is giving me heartburn. in a nutshell, she wants my niece in the ceremony, even though i don't want a flower girl. it's not going to be a super traditional wedding, and as much as i love my niece i have never seen a flower girl who seemed to be having fun, and wasn't all shy and freaked out. you know, except on tv. i just want my wedding to be a bit more low-key, and more about the four of us; i'm not just marrying D, and i want the kids to know how important they are. i'm sure we'll talk about this more later, but for now let me just say i feel crappy about the way things are playing out, and while i want to make my family happy, i also kind of just want to focus on making my own family. as well as making kimchi, and pickled eggs, and someday talking D into curing meats and making salamis. aw yeah, salami!

behind door three

coworker: "our nine o'clock is here."

me: "wait, we don't have a nine o'clock."

co-worker: "ding! ding! ding! you passed the test! you win a prize!"

me: "is the prize more time to read before our next patient?"

co-worker: "is there ever any other prize?"

happy friday morning

today has been a great morning. i know that's not too exciting to read, but dude, it's been awesome. D got up with me because he was having a hard time sleeping in, and he made me cheesey scrambled eggs with garlic toast. also, coffee. we got to spend some time this morning talking and looking at the girlchild's school packet while waking up, and it was just nice and quiet and such a great way to start my day. i came into work and my co-worker had gotten me a blueberry scone. i'm having a good hair day, i'm in the middle of reading a good book, and it's friday and this weekend i'm just going to bake and goof off and get kids ready for school. yay!

PTA, represent

hey! i get to go to my first elementary school open house tonight. well, the first open house i've been to since becoming an adult. i know the girlchild isn't too stoked about her teacher this year, he has a reputation of being a bit stern and strict, but i'm trying to convince her that sometimes teachers that are tough are actually worthwhile. in any case, it will be good to put a name to a face, and maybe they'll have punch and cookies to make it all worthwhile.

speaking of cookies, i made an amazing batch last night. my oven cooperated, and i baked off a batch of browned butter sugar cookies. they were thin and crisp on the outside, slightly chewy in the center, coated in crunchy "raw" sugar and tasted like toffee. everyone liked them but the boychild, who for some crazy reason doesn't dig on caramel flavors. we're going to have to work with him on that. i'll post photos and a recipe soon!

dear diary, i love my tent

it took me forever to find a decent cup of coffee this morning! i was way too lazy and lame to make a pot this morning before i left the house, and the hospital coffee is cheap but is just so bad that i can't drink it anymore. i'm fairly sure it's not made of beans, but instead from old socks. old, burnt, crusty socks. i shudder to think. coming back to work from five days off is hard, y'all. getting up early because i have to get dressed and take a shower and be civilized is not as much fun as sleeping in late, living in a tent and being slightly dirty all the time. granted, our most recent sojourn to jim creek was a short one, but we got into the swing of things by not really unpacking from our last trip out. work today is nice and quiet and a good way to ease back into things, but i'd prefer to be crashed on the couch watching tv with the kids. they got a whole summer, why can't i?!

jim creek was gorgeous! the big downside to it is you have to be military or be related to someone in the military to go, the other downside is that you aren't actually allowed anywhere in or near the creek itself (it's protected for salmon and freshwater mussels). all that water, but no wading! they have some lakes and boats you can rent for fishing, but you can't swim in them, which is also sort of lame. especially if it's hot. you'd think maybe they'd have a pool or something there as an alternative, but they don't. the campsites themselves were really nice; they had privacy hedges between sites, and the RV's were in a seperate part of the campground. i have nothing against people to camp in RV's per se, i mean, people should vacation and camp any way they like, however, when we were out at prineville we were right by two big RV's and campers who stayed up all night long watching tv and movies. their camping was noisy and bright and irritating if you were living next door in a tent. i think having campers in vans and RVs out on their own turf is just a reasonable thing, as well as polite. jim creek also had some cute as hell cabins out there, which i really wanted to stay at. my little family scoffs at the idea of this as "camping" but i don't care. living in a tiny, rustic cabin (or yurt! don't forget my favorite!) for just a few days makes me feel all laura ingalls wilder, and i love it. plus, sometimes when i camp i'm less all about hiking and hanging out outside, and more about just taking some quiet time "off" from the rest of the world. doing some thinking, reading, writing or whatever away from TVs, radios, and the rest of the world is just a nice thing to do sometimes. it's refreshing. i don't always need to be out doing stuff, especially considering i'm one of the laziest people i know. i'm all about getting my sloth on at times!

we had a great time on our both camping trips, and last night before drifting off to sleep D and i talked about how much fun we had and how excited we are to take more trips. we'd like a bigger tent so we can all sleep in there (the boychik right now prefers to sleep in the car; he gets a bit of privacy and a bit more room to stretch out), or at least have more wiggle room. we're getting better at camping all together, although on both trips we forgot stuff. once it was silverware, once it was fire, and i kept talking about yogurt and granola for breakfast and then forgot the granola! nothing huge or life-shattering has ever been left behind, though, so i think we're doing okay. i know it's late in the camping season, but the best thing about the pacific northwest is that we often get our best weather starting in september, so we probably have at least one more trip in us. i'm hoping for two, but we'll see! first we have to attack the mountain of laundry and get kids ready for school (ASB cards are $30 at the high school. can you say WTF?!). they go back in a little less than two weeks, and while it's been great having them around, i'm kind of looking forward to having my monday's back. monday was always the day i had off by myself, and i got a lot done on that day, and enjoyed a bit of quiet alone time. i'm a much nicer person and more pleasant all around when i get a bit of alone time, trust me.

vacation all i ever wanted

the past couple of weeks have been a hell of a lot of fun. we all went down to prineville to go camping, and that was awesome. the reservoir was nice and warm, perfect for swimming or going on sea-doos or boating. there were a million kids there, and despite a few reservations on the parts of M and C, a good time was had by all. all the kids got along great, we ate some great dinners, got a ridiculous amount of sun (our new skins are coming in quite nicely, bytheway), and came home tired, dirty and happy. can you ask for more out of a camping trip? i think not. i worked a few days after we got back, spent one day majorly cleaning the house, and now we're back on vacation week part two. tomorrow we got on a small overnight camping trip with D's brother and family, which should be fun.

we've been doing crazy amounts of cooking as well on our little vacation. the weather's cooled down a bit, making grilling and baking a lot less painful and stifling. the other night i made pizza dough for the first time; a process that was a lot easier than i thought it would be. the results were good too, although the next time i make it i'll add a bit more salt to the dough and let it rest a bit more before baking. it made great zucchini pizzas, which is good because as those of you with friends or family who garden know, it's totally zucchini time. we've eaten it in salads, grilled, baked, in pizzas and added to just about anything that might need a touch of green. tonight i may make some muffins or something to use up some more of it! it's a green squash invasion, to be sure. on today's agenda as well is the making of some pork sausage. while out shopping yesterday we found pork shoulder roasts for only .99 cents a pound, which my dear sweet boyfriend couldn't say no to. the look on his face was like a boy on christmas morning! we're in the middle of grinding and cooling, waiting for everything to come down again in temp so we can grind some more and add some spicy goodness. we're going to try a couple new recipes, you can be sure i'm taking pictures and notes as we go along. the waiting is the hardest part for me, i just want to get in there and make it now, but if you go too fast the meat gets too warm and the results are lame. patience is a virtue and all that jazz.

this is one reason i want to marry D; i love days where all we do is cook and goof off and make stuff. i have fun with him, i get excited about trying new recipes and trolling websites to find new ones. it's exciting to be with someone who is so passionate about food and cooking and gets swoony about cuts of meat and fresh veggies. i can't think of a better way to spend a "staycation" than in the kitchen, radio going, good smells coming from the oven and a mess being made.