Friday, July 16, 2010

i accidently stretched my ears

like most women in their 30's, i have more than one earring hole in my ear. my primary piercings, which i got when i four, are stretched to a little over 1/2 inch; 9/16th of an inch, to be exact. on my left ear, the second and third piercing holes are still there and viable. i decided i wanted to try putting hoops in there, and so i put in some older silver ones.

evidently this was a mistake, since my ears revolted and got infected. i guess now they just really like the stainless surgical steel they are accustomed to.

over on my trusty ebay, i found a pair of cute, plain, small, captive bead earrings in surgical steel. i ordered a pair of 16 gauges, thinking since i've had the piercings so long, that would fit just fine. the earrings showed up yesterday afternoon and i promptly put them in. five minutes later, OUCH. not "ouch" when i tried the silver earrings, it was the familiar, red hot stinging of a stretch. i thought i was having to push a bit hard on the earrings going in because an earring hasn't been in there so long. i was wrong! it's not a terrible thing, i just think it's funny that i did it on accident. i don't think i can actually stretch both those holes; maybe one, but there just isn't room for three stretched holes in that ear. my earlobes are only so big, and valuable property is being taken up by the primary piercings.* (you know, the more i write "stretched hole" the more i realize pervs are probably stopping by. hi pervs! hit the road now, please!)

i'm going to go sit with my boyfriend now and make fun of the golf channel. there is this thing on the tv right now called the "british open." have you heard of it? i guess it is a big deal. i am going to drink rum and talk about the environmental impact of golf courses until golf either becomes funny enough for me to tolerate, or he kicks me out of the room.

*i love calling them that. it makes me think of polyamorous talk, and "primary" and "secondary" partners. although to be honest, i always thought that was kind a dick move to give someone #1 and someone #2 (or #3). i thought the whole point of poly wasn't that you loved someone else more, just differently. like you have one boyfriend who likes cartoons and one who can bench press 300 lbs. both serve their own purpose!

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