this morning i got up early and started cleaning the house. i tried to steam clean our couch, with D's old Green Machine, but evidently it's broken. the suction works just fine, but it doesn't actually spit any water out. grrrr. spent way, way, way too much time trying to make it work. it ended up just irritating me. then i tried to clean the rest of the living room, vacuuming and asking the kids to take their things out and away to their rooms. then i took a shower, cleaned the tub, the sink and the toilet, before mopping the bathroom floor and swapping a clean bathmat for the dirty one. i was annoyed by this point, and when the girlchild walked in and said, "oh, it smells like cleaner" i snapped, "yeah, because i'm cleaning."
i feel like an jerk now, but sometimes i get so frustrated feeling like i have to cajole, bribe, or nag to get any one's help with housework. i know for a fact that before i moved in, these people did just fine without a mom-type person around. why is it now my job to keep the fucking place clean? why am i the only one who picks up a hand towel that's fallen to the floor? how did everyone forget how to sweep? i think it's time for D and i to sit down and make an honest to god chore list, so that i don't have days like today where i get sick of living in moderate filth and act like an ass while cleaning.
sometimes i really just want to run away and join the circus, because then i'd only have a tiny caravan to keep tidy, and it's a known fact that monkeys will help for mere bananas.