pintrest a while ago, to keep pictures of wedding ideas and crafts all in one place, and to see what my friends were up to on it. so far, it's a fun little tool; i like the photos and short comments, it's neat to see what other people are looking at, and all that jazz. i found this photo today on someone's board though, with the caption, "sexy bones." i re-pinned it with my own comment, "this is so fucked up, i saw this on another board with the actual words 'sexy bones' on it. yeah, anorexia is super hot." before today, i think three other people have commented on my pins or re-pinned them. i totally surpassed that number today!
first and foremost, i admit: i am a fat chick. chubby, zaftig, curvy, fat, whatever. i haven't always been this size, and i'm not always 100% happy with my body, but i don't know many women who are. when i saw this photo and the words sexy + bones together, it made me sick to my stomach. not because i'm a jealous fat girl, which some of the comments to my post implied, but because, really?! this is hot? i understand it's an awkward and not natural position this woman is in, unless you're a lingerie model (they hang out like this all time!), and that it places emphasis on her hip bones, but STILL. this woman is seriously thin. this angle, those jutting hip bones, aren't what i think of when i think of healthy. in fact, bones poking through skin don't strike me as sexy or healthy in general.
i got a couple of responses from butt-hurt "skinny" girls who said that making fun of skinny is as bad as making fun of fat, but you know what? i don't buy it. plus, the point wasn't just to make fun of skinny, i'm pointing my finger at how this is the type of body women are supposed to aim for. that we can remove a woman's head and in essence, entire personality, and reduce to her a torso that we want to fuck or look like. that it's okay to do this and not question it. that as women we're only worth the parts and pieces of us that other people find attractive. that saying anything in opposition to that view is to "out" yourself as jealous, petty, and fat. i already know that being fat isn't okay, trust me. i'm not just saying this because i'm a pouty, pissed off chick who can't put down the ben & jerry's, and wishes that she could be so thin that other women would feel envious. (the whole "i have to make other women hate/envy/notice me to have worth" paradigm is a topic we'll cover at another time!) more than anything, it's upsetting to me that beauty is portrayed in such a narrow way, to such exclusion of all the other types and kinds. words like "thinspiration" make me gag.
let's start a revolution, let's just like ourselves as we are. let's be healthy and happy and interesting. let's make weirdo clothes to wear and delight in what makes us different, let's stop forcing ourselves to be anything but who we are. let's try to be nice to our bodies and be stoked about the things they can do, and stop beating ourselves up for what we think are our shortcomings. let's stop focusing on all the little parts, the abs, the butts, the thighs, and be grateful for health, and mobility and look at who we are as a whole. if we want anyone to stop objectifying us, to stop treating us as property and chattel, then we need to start looking at ourselves that way too.
(yeah, i'm a feminist. i don't think that's a bad word.)