happy homemaker

yesterday, for the first time in forever, i pulled out my sewing machine for a project.  about six or so months ago (i think it was longer, but can't be certain) we stopped buying paper towels and napkins.  the only paper we buy now is for our bottoms.  we've been using regular old dishtowels as napkins, which were fine, but a little too big to use comfortably.  i did like how absorbent and soft they were, though, in comparison to the cloth napkins i saw in stores.  the last time we were at ikea, i picked up some new dishtowels to convert into napkins.  all i did was cut them in half and hem them, but the size feels a lot more comfortable in your lap.  i know it's not much of a sewing project, but i was glad that my machine is still in awesome working order, and last night i got all crafty while drinking tea and watching lockup.  that felt pretty awesome as well. 

yesterday i also did kind of a jerky thing.  i called out from working with my co-worker's autistic daughter.  i like the work i do with her, and i think the play therapy is doing wonders for her, but i admit to feeling a little burnt out.  so far, i'm the only volunteer working with her.  they were supposed to get more lined up, but it's been over three months and i don't see anyone new stepping in to help out any time soon.  yesterday was also just a really nice day out; probably one of the last nice days we'll have for a while.  the girlchild was selling her grandpa's dahlias out front (she's got a flower stand!), the sun was shining, D had the morning off work and there was a music festival going on in the park across the way.  i just really wanted to stay home with my people and do nothing.  the girlchild and i sat out front with the flowers, listening to the music and working with watercolors; D came out and joined us for a while to soak up some sun, and the boychik was in and out all day with his friends in a goofy, happy mood.  i just couldn't, and didn't want to, leave them.  i spend a lot of time working with my co-worker's daughter, planning out new games, working on new ways to get her to interact, spending time with her and her sisters, one-on-one.  i also give up a lot of my free time, and the ability to go anywhere on the weekends, because i have to work around that schedule. i'm torn, because i think what i'm doing is helping, and i honestly like and care about this family, but i also want more time with my people.  i don't like feeling like i'm the only one working on this as well.  if there were other volunteers to pick up some of the slack, i would feel a lot better.  i know i just need to sit down and tell them how i feel, and maybe take some time off, or make it so i only use one of my days off for this.  i don't know.  taking the day off yesterday to play hooky with the kids and D was probably a jackass thing to do, but it felt really good.  not all weekends are as glorious, and i'm glad i spent it with the kids.