i only have to get through one more day of work before i finally see a doctor. i have an appointment for friday morning. i had to finish the intake today, sign some papers, and make the appointment. the program i'm using is great for people who don't have insurance, but i kind of wish i'd done this part before i felt so shitty. then again, i was pretty sure everything was fine! or rather, i was trying really hard to convince myself everything was fine, that i didn't need anyone's help, that if i wished hard enough it would all go away. um, that might have been a little crazy. it feels like this is taking too long to see a doctor, but in reality, it's taken four days from the first day i went into the walk-in clinic. four of the longest days of my life. physically i'm tired, emotionally i'm more tired. the next twenty four hours will be long too, i'm sure, but it's so nice to know you don't think i'm bat-shit crazy.
i'm going to go eat some toast and go back to bed. it's hard not to anticipate tomorrow sucking royally, but i'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt. it's the last day i have to do this alone, without the benefit of a professional's help. that's something to look forward to.
1 comment:
god! i tried to convince myself i was okay for like a year. and ya know, just getting by does not count as okay. because it totally sucks.
i hope the dr appointment goes well.
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