painfully exciting

i went looking on-line last night for a new pair of low top chucks. you know, the ones me and every other hipster has been wearing since high school. in fact, i think the pair i have now i actually bought right after high school. personally, i like to wear them with a dress or skirt, because i look extra-cute in them that way. i'm digressing. i did some looking, found my shoes, and then was browsing the other converse shoes when i happened upon these beauties. they are just like my classic low-top chucks, but they are leather, with velcro straps. i nearly had a heart attack i was so excited. look at them! are they not gorgeous? don't they scream my name? even though they weren't available in my exact size (i have small feet that come in a half size, when not all men's/boy's shoes come in half sizes), i'm used to wearing my chucks a half size too big or small, plus you always have to stick an insole them to begin with. lucky for me (unlucky for my checking account) a certain on-line shoe store has a credit card of mine on file. in short, five minutes after seeing these lovelies they were ordered and now all i have to do is wait. that's the exciting part.

the painful part is my left hand. i think i'm knitting too much, typing too much, and that that weird undiagnosed hand thing might actually be something i need to have looked at. my hands new favorite trick is to spazz out, seize up, and/or go numb. one of my roommates thinks it might be carpal tunnel, but i've never heard of it presenting in the hand as a weird, painful crease. although i do have tingling as well as decreased gripping ability. i can't hold anything with my left hand if i grip it like an "o" for long, i have to put my thumb on the same side as my fingers, making a "c" instead. i might be wrong, though, and this could be carpal tunnel. my mom had carpal tunnel so bad she actually had to have surgery to correct it. she was all frakenstein-y for weeks and pop had to help her get dressed and stuff for a while, but she's much better now. i don't know, i could self-diagnose myself from here to next week, but the point is my hand hurts and i can't wait to have health insurance. once i get it i'm staying in town long enough to see a whole lot of doctors. i want to see an eye doctor, a hand doctor, someone about my back and my bum knee and maybe a real shrink. oh, and a dermataologist and dentist. it's going to rule.

also, that whole john mark karr bullshit? he's extra freaky for sure, and i admit i was sort of fascinated by the whole thing in a way that made me feel guilty as well as creeped out, but we all knew it wasn't him. he's too batshit crazy for that, although i do think he's been messing with little girls for way too long and i'm glad they've at least got him for that. it just all seemed too easy, too strange, and oddly convenient. i know there's no proof of it, but i've always thought the killer was more close to home, and that once we found out who it was it would be even worse because of that.