mom's island cottage

i have to admit, sometimes sneaking off to the island to hang out with my mom is just what the doctor ordered.  although my mother has the hardest time doing nothing; she really was very sick, and i caught her ironing clothes and taking a shower this morning.  um, hello?  even when i'm in the best of health, no ironing goes on at my house.  hence my nickname, "unmade bed."  my other nickname, "mattress ass" refers to my ability to nap for hours.  notice both nicknames have beds in them, which should tell you a lot about my basic nature.  ahem. 

Past...

came to my mom's this afternoon. she's got a cold, or maybe a mild case of the plague, so we spent the day watching cooking shows, knitting, and napping. mom's in bed, and now I'm watching tv & creeping into her liquor cabinet. I feel 15! in a good way. there's no ice, though. just like old times!

ha ha ha

look what i learned today!

8==D

it's an emoti-dick!

i had a terrifically shitty day at work.  in fact, this week has been kind of lame, and when i got home tonight i was having one of those "i'm going to run away and join the circus and never wax my 'stache again!" moments.  then the kids were funny, and being nice to each other, and the boychik taught me how to make an emoti-dick and the girlchild and i ate some broccoli and rice casserole and...well, i don't want to run away anymore.  i had a rum and coke and am knitting and thinking about how odd it is that kids sometimes are the worst thing ever and sometimes the best.  they made me laugh when i was in a lousy mood, and you know what?  that's like a super nice thing to do.  that is, quite possibly, the nicest thing anyone can do for you when you feel like ass and work is bringing you down and you feel overwhelmed by life in general.  i'm glad that in some way, they both already know that.     

i think it's time for a pot of tea

last night was the weirdest in terms of sleep and dreams.  for one thing, i fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons, then woke up at 1 a.m.  normally this is not a big deal: i move myself to bed where i fall back asleep and everything is hunky dory.  last night i found that going back to sleep wasn't an option (for whatever reason) and i ended up staying up until 5 a.m., and then fell asleep just in time for the boychik to wake me up getting ready for school.  after he left i drifted off again, for the hour before the girlchild gets up to get ready for school.  fun times.  then i had a crazy dream about getting my lip re-pierced, in which i not only got my lip pierced, but also got two piercing in each cheek.  for some reason we didn't have the hardware for my cheek piercings (!) so we were holding them open with fishing line.  then i asked a guy who was evidently my brother to borrow his lip ring so i could get the fishing line out of my face, and he gave me this gorgeous inlaid wood and silver ring.  however, his hands were disgusting (so dirty) and i spent a long time trying to find alcohol to sterilize everything before i put it in my face.  did i mention this brother of mine was a hulking beast of a man, all gingery and bearded and nordic looking?  very unlike anything my parents actually produced?

i admit, i always enjoy having dreams about brothers, because that was my one secret wish from childhood: an older brother.

now everyone is out of the house (work and school took them away) and i think it's time for a nice pot of tea, some knitting and slowing working up toward going to the gym.  i was kind of naughty this weekend and ate both pizza and donuts, neither of which is going to help me fit into a smaller pair of pants, but i have been working out pretty steadily so i don't feel too bad.  i probably should, but there's no use crying over eaten donuts, is there?  nope.  i'm not catholic anymore, i don't need that kind of guilt.

a few notes before bed...

i should be asleep already; i'm definitely tired enough for it.  i have a few resolutions to add to my list, though.  last year was a good year; half of what i wrote down i took care of, so why not add just a few more and see how that goes?

• i'm not going to buy any new makeup this year.  i have a LOT of makeup that i don't even wear now, so i'm going to try to use what i have and not spend any more money on eye shadows and lipsticks that will just sit around looking pretty.  i will make one exception though: mascara.  i have a lot of little sample size ones my sister hooked me up with, and when i go through all of those i'll buy more.  i do love mascara, and that's one thing i do actually wear a lot of.  
• in the same vein, i'm not going to buy any clothes.  i know, crazy, right?  here's the thing: i tend to buy stuff i don't wear, and i tend to wear the same four outfits.  unless it's new underpants or socks, or clothes i need for work (scrubs), NO MORE.  i have two pairs of paints, way too many tshirts, and let's face it, my days of going out are no more.  unless something specifically wears out (like my pants), or i shrink, i'm going to put an embargo on new clothes.  if i do need something new, i'm going to try to stick with thrifted stuff.  oh, and i reserve the right to buy a different wedding dress and shoes to go with it.  duh. 

i guess technically speaking, these are both kind of offshoots of my plan to simplify things.  however, these are concrete ways, and very specific, so i thought they deserved some attention.

also, i have already gotten a haircut this year (meaning if i get two more i can cross that resolution off my list!) and have actually been working out on a regular basis.  CRAZY.  i know it's january, and i should wait to see how things go, but honestly?  i'm feeling pretty good about the resolutions i made, and my effort to keep them.  in short, i feel pretty good.  except for one of my feet, which i bonked on an elliptical and bruised.  that foot, it hurts.   

you know what's awesome?

getting to sneak in a workout with the older folks at the gym.  i'm going to hell for saying this, but i'm never working out with young people again!  running around on treadmills and ellipticals is WAY more fun when everyone else in the room is at least 30 to 40 years older than you.  i've never felt so YOUNG or ALIVE!  technically, the gym at work tonight was being used for a circuit training class for people aged 60 and over, but the gym guy, mark, let me use the machines too because the class wasn't full and they had room.  score for me!  45 minutes later i was a hot sweaty mess, but oh so pleased with myself.
    
you know what else is awesome? coming home from said workout to find my boyfriend making tiny little burgers.  i believe they are called "sliders" but i like to call them "tiny little burgers."  i'm going to take a shower and then eat some, covered in goat cheese and pickles.  hooray!

oh, those kids!

the meeting with the principal and the school counselor went well.  well, as good as can be expected.  in short, there was some stuff we didn't really know about the situation (because being a 12 year old girl is beyond complicated), some things both she and counselor clarified, and we were assured that everyone involved was meeting with the principal that day. that was the good news.  the other good news is that it really does feel like the teachers and staff were up to date on what was going on, and got this nipped in the bud.  i think we'll continue to have some issues with one of the girls, because we've been having issues with her for at least a year now.  i've been waiting to see what the fall-out will be; after a meeting like this i figured things would kind of slowly go back to normal, or HOT DAMN the girls would just get more evil and sneaky about the bullying.  it's been a little over a week now, and i think having to meet with the principal, talking to their parents about sex (which is just mortifying at that age, isn't it?), and being told in no uncertain terms that this is not okay has actually been good for all of them.  at least, that's how it seems.

what's funny about all of this is what happened literally the day after we all met with the principal.  they were having skate night at the local roller rink, and the girlchild got a call.  i could hear a little girl asking her if she could get a ride home with us afterward and i asked, "who's that?"  she told me, and it was none other than one of the girls involved in the bullying.  i was incredulous.  i said, "the same _____ that got you sent to the principal's office?" i can only imagine what my face looked like as i said it, because the girlchild's eyes got GIGANTIC.  she nodded and i said, "oh hell, no."  after she got off the phone she told me that the other little girls had apologized and the one that called said she felt bad, and i said that was great, but there was no way i was driving her anywhere.  i know that makes me a bad role model, and that it might not have been a good example of forgiveness, but all i could think was "is she serious?!"  oh, silly kid.  she messed with my girl, there's no way i'm taking that her anywhere any time soon.

basketball season starts in a few weeks, and i'm sure i'll get to deal with more little girl drama then.  whoo!  if you see me crying in the school parking lot over my knitting while banging my head into the steering wheel, maybe you can bring me a light beer?  remember, i'm on a diet.  thanks.    

MLK day!

i always have monday off, so today isn't too different for me.  however, the kids also have today off, so that's something new. 

we had a fun weekend.  we started it off on friday night, hitting the seattle art museum, in hopes of seeing the end of the picasso exhibit.  unfortunately for the kids, i did not buy tickets online like i should have, and that part of the museum was sold out.  the rest of the museum was open, though, so we walked through the permanent collection, which i think the kids enjoyed.  the boychik brought his girlfriend, and they went one way while the girlchild and i went the other.  none of the kids had ever been to the SAM, or really any art museum, so it was kind of an impromptu field trip and educational experience.  the girlchild liked looking at the modern art with me, she was a fan of the paintings and the sculpture.  at one point while we were sitting and looking at some painting she told me she "didn't get" some of it, to which i tried to explain that she didn't have to.  it didn't have to mean anything, it didn't have to be a cerebral exercise, it could just be pretty paintings, or fun, weird things to look at.  she seemed to relax and enjoy herself more after that.  the boychik and his girlfriend found some stuff they really liked, and had a good time people watching as well.  we had dinner at uwajimaya,  got trapped in a parking garage for almost an hour, and they got to laugh at my terrible shifting skills on some of seattle's steepest hills, and by the time we headed home all the kids were happy and tired.  most of them fell asleep on the way home.  it was fun to introduce them to something new, and it had been so long since i'd been to a museum myself.  i'd almost forgotten how happy seeing some art makes me.  there is something so refreshing about a trip to a museum; you come home with all sorts of ideas and plans.   

we've spent the rest of the weekend goofing off, not doing much of anything.  i'm working on the never-ending afghan, and thinking about hitting the open gym this afternoon at the hospital.  nothing too exciting!  i should be cleaning the house or something, but we'll see how that goes.  i'm kind of in a zone with that afghan and just want to knit until my hands complain.   

medicine ball time, yo

hey dudes, remember that resolution i made about being fitter and stuff?  thus far i'm actually kind of sticking to that resolution.  yes, i know we're only 12 days into the year, but they've been a productive 12 days.

i have been posting about that sort of stuff over here, on the chunkersons blog, because 1) it's a public blog, 2) i really enjoy sarah's other blog and 3) there really is something about saying it out loud that is helping me out.  because it's a public blog, you can also go over there and contribute if you so desire.  in fact, i think you should.

also, tonight i did 20 minutes on the treadmill, 5 on the elliptical (going backwards!) and 30 doing a circuit training course at the tiny gym at the hospital.  i am sore and hungry and feeling kind of badass.  whenever i want to not work out i'm going to remind myself that "zombies lead a very active lifestyle, so should you."   in fact, i believe that should be on a workout shirt. 

called into the principal's office

DAMMIT.  i kind of thought after the girlchild met with the school counselor, things would quiet down.  while i didn't think the girls giving her shit would magically stop, i did think they'd tone it down for their own sakes.  evidently, they haven't, and D and I came home to a message from the school asking us to call them back ASAP.  we're not sure what the meeting is about exactly; it could just be the principal just wants to let us know he knows what's going on and is taking care of it, it could be he wants more information, it could be something else.  i wonder if he doesn't want to see our pretty faces because the bullying going on is potentially lawsuit material.  can you say "sexual harassment?"  because now the girlchild can.

i'm not going to try and say this sort of shit didn't happen when i was 12, oh so long ago, but i will say i think the internet makes kids mean in a different way.  this summer we dealt with some of that, with the same group of girls, sending mean messages through facebook and ourworld and stuff.  we had good talks about how easy it is to feel like you can say whatever you want when you don't have to say it to someone's face, but how those things are still hurtful and not okay.  now she doesn't have the same kind of access to the internet as then, but with school back in session she's getting a crash course in gossip.  how it starts, how it spreads, what the effects are.  essentially a group of girls led by one particular girl (there's always a ringleader!) has been telling everyone that the girlchild is bisexual, and that she tried to get another little girl to be her girlfriend and kiss her.  being called bi doesn't bother her; she lives in a house where we're open about different kinds of sexualities and even genders (one of the boychik's friends is trans), she understands that we don't believe there's anything wrong or weird about being queer, and she doesn't believe that being called "bi" is a real insult.  at the same time, it does bother her that if she says she isn't, no one listens, or they take it to mean that she really is and just denying it.  in short, there isn't anything she can say or do that's going to make this better, and that's frustrating at best.  if she stands up for kids who are bi or gay or questioning, she's automatically lumped in with them, if she denies it vehemently, she's implying there's something wrong with those kids and acting like the jerks.

she knows we love her, and we'd love her even if it does turn out she's bi, but that we also think she might be a bit young to have given it much thought.  it's early for this to be an issue, we want her to be a kid a while longer and understand that sexuality is a part of who she is as a person, but not the definition of her.  she has time to learn about herself, she has time to grow up.  this shouldn't be an issue a 12 year old deals with, and we think that if she were older, or a boy, or not as okay with herself, the school would have jumped on this quite a bit earlier.

sigh.  i mentioned all this to a co-worker the other day, and she said, "do you really want to marry a man with teenagers?!  maybe you should have a long engagement."  too late!  we may as well already be married, dammit.  i'm too far in!  plus, now i'm all riled up.  no one messed with the kid, no one.  the end.        

i feel pretty

as i mentioned before, the girlchild and i had a day of beauty yesterday.  i told her that morning i'd take her over to old navy to use her xmas gift card, then surprised her with a visit to the local beauty college.   she seemed pleased when i told her what we were doing in mt. vernon!  i set us up for haircuts and manicures, and told her at the start that she didn't have to do anything extreme or weird; if she just wanted a trim that was fine with me.  it had just been so long since we got haircuts, and we were both a bit shaggy.  the ladies we got as hairdressers were awesome; both were young and cute and friendly, and i ended up getting about an inch and a half taken off, and some new layers, and the girl got the cutest inverted bob.  it "drops off" at the front; so she has that great shaping in the back, and then it makes kind of a dramatic swoop near the front.  super, super cute.  i forget it takes a while to get a haircut at a school (because they're training, they fill out forms, the teacher comes over during all the parts of the cut and talks to them about what they're going to do and makes sure you're doing okay), and we ended up being there for quite a while.  not in a bad way, but by the time our nails were dry, we were hungry!  i took her over to the local sushi place and we sat at the bar and ate conveyor belt sushi until we almost exploded.  by the time we got home, she was happy, tired, had cute new hair and a few new outfits.

it was kind of a rough week for her, and i think getting out and doing "girly" stuff was good for her.  when things at school go wrong or are stressful, it's easy as that age (at any age, really) to just focus on that, and i like to remind her that this will pass, and that 6th grade isn't going to be a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  it's also important for me to let her know that even if school is shitty, and she's dealing with bullshit girl politics, that home is a good place, and that she can be herself here and be loved.  it wasn't just about haircuts and nail polish, we spent a good time together talking and hanging out, and that's what i was really aiming for.  although we do look super cute now, which is kind of a bonus.  i want her to have weekends like this that she can remember, that remind her that just because a girl tries to make your life miserable at school that she has a life outside of there that is awesome and fun, and in the end, more important.      

beauty school dropout

the girlchild has been having one hell of a week.  i forget sometimes that pre-teen girls are assholes, and that the catty bitchiness begins at about the sixth grade.  it's hard to watch her go through it, since i did it once and that was enough, but we're all managing okay.  in an effort to make her feel a better, i made up appointments tomorrow for haircuts and manicures.  at the local beauty school. though, because i don't just want it to be a fun day out, i want it to be an adventure.  will we walk out with all ten fingers? will they make me look like a boy?  we'll see!

p.s.  i'm keeping it a secret until tomorrow afternoon.  i want her to be surprised!   

so dreamy

i bought myself the newest cee lo album for xmas (with a gift card from my awesome co-worker).  #1: it's fucking awesome.  there is literally not a song on it that doesn't make me happy.  #2: look at that pink suit.  LOOK AT IT.  do you know of another man who can rock a suit like that?  i didn't think so.  #3: i kind of really want to play this song at my wedding.  i made D listen to it tonight, but i think with me standing there going "OH MY GOD don't you just love it?!" didn't help my case out any.  i might have come on too strong.  ahem.  i'm not giving up, though.  this song is awesome. 

to see more of mr. green and his amazing videos, check out his work on the youtubes. 

this is why i love my mom

i sent my mom an email yesterday asking if she wanted to come up and look at wedding dresses, and she agreed and then sent this back,

Aunt Pam tells me the latest news on the rapture is it is scheduled for may 21. We will either have A WEDDING, GO MEET Jesus or duke it out with the antichrist that day. Love you, Mom

i pointed out that if the rapture does happen, that all of D's people will be swept up to heaven, leaving us with all the BBQ pork we can eat.  could be worse.  

 

play like it's 1989!

or something.  i got a DSi for xmas (this one here), and it came with mario cart and i also got some bejeweled.  needless to say, i'm loving it.  my brainage is actually not too shabby (38!), and i'm figuring out how to drive my mario cart slowly but surely.  the kids think watching me play is amusing, because i have a hard time not wiggling around in my seat like i'm actually steering and i say "oops!" "oh no!" and "sorry dude!" way too often.  i am not a cool, composed gamer.  i'm forever making noise and slumping down in my seat. 

the last time i had a video gaming system was sometime in the late 80's.  my sister and i begged for a nintendo console, and got the one that came with super mario bros. and duck hunt.  those were the only two games we ever owned, and we were not very good at playing either of them.  thinking back on it, it was a super fun game for a week and then we both got bored of it and went back to playing with legos and she-ra.  sorry mom and dad! 

i'm looking to get some more mario games (i'm terribly fond of that little dude) and maybe some more puzzle/brain games.  anyone have any suggestions?  what do you like to play? 

hallelujah!

the kids go back to school tomorrow!  i go back to work the day after that!  i will finally be out of the house for longer than the occasional trip to the grocery store! 

yeah, i know i could have gone outside or found some free activities for the kids and i to engage in, but for one thing it's ridiculously cold out, and for another, going anywhere would have required gas for the car, and we really are kind of super broke right now.  plus, we had a ton of stuff we could (and did) do here.  it's just that no matter how big your house is, it is never, ever big enough for kids home on winter break.  note to self: use up all your float time this year on honeymooning or something.  don't wait until december! 

what did i do with my break? knit.  watched too much tv.  worked on some crafty projects.  cleaned random things, like the front of the fridge.  read a few books.  overall, i'd say i feel pretty refreshed and ready to get the hell out of the house.  i'm also ready for the kids to go back to school and for them to stop hanging around complaining about boredom.  there was literally NO SUGGESTION i made this week that either of them took, and it wasn't too long ago that i started saying "boo fucking hoo" when one of them lamented the lack of stuff to do.  tomorrow i plan on doing all that stuff i didn't do while they were home, washing some scrubs, and cutting up some veggies to pack in my lunches.  we had our last fat farm vacation meal today (pizza!), tomorrow we go back on the wagon.  i'm ready!   

i almost forgot

i have a little over five months to plan a wedding.  may 21 seemed really far away last halloween, but right this second, it feels decidedly closer.

i've updated the plans and wedding site over here; i know talking about weddings is boring for a lot of folks, reading about them even more so.  if you're curious about the possible train wreck of a party i'm planning though, feel free to check it out!

last years resolution round-up

last year i not only wrote down some resolutions, but i put them up here for everyone to see! ha, ha, i suck.  let's look over them and see if i got anything on that list done...

1. learn how to knit intarsia, or fair isle, or any other sort of picture/multiple color knitting. i like cables, i like lacey things, but i'm ready to learn something new. (i still detest using charts, however. i don't know if that will change this year.)  um, nope.  never did this.  although i did hunt my interasia dvd out and put it next to the tv.  i give myself 1/2 a point for that. 
2. learn how to make a homemade, epic, sourdough bread. seriously sour, too, not like some of the wimpy stuff you get in stores.  again, no.  i did find a place that sells sourdough as sour as i like it, but unfortunately, that place is haggen and we all know i won't go in there.  every now and then i talk D into popping in and buying me a loaf.   
3. go back to blogging more often. i've been trying to do something small every day, but i think making it an actual, "i said it out loud" sort of thing will help.  this one i actually did, if you look at my stats.  more entries this year than last
4. get new glasses. and the pre-requisite eye exam to accompany them.  i totally did this!  i rock!  i also got contacts this year too, for the first time in something like five years.  they itch, which reminds me, i don't really like wearing them. 
5. the cyst/tumor/mean pea in my hand has got to go. honestly. i'll have someone help me take a photo; the thing's gotten fucking huge and now part of my hand down to my wrist likes to go numb or burn. not cool.  this one i not only didn't do, but probably won't do for a long time.  i did get off my ass and saw a doctor about the thing, but when i heard what my options were (surgery followed by crazy physical therapy, a wicked scar, and then more surgery a few years later), i realized that while my hand hurts sometimes, surgery isn't going to help.  not any time soon, anyway.  

not too terribly shabby, although when you only make five resolutions, keeping two and half of them isn't too terribly hard.  here's a list of things i did do this year that i'm totally proud of but weren't resolutions: